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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 764489" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Beta. I am sorry that I only saw your thread just now.</p><p></p><p>I think the decision is based more upon what you and your husband need for yourselves. I could see going there and being heartsick either because you don't find him or because he won't respond to your efforts, and is in bad shape. On the other hand, if you're heartsick at home, beating yourself up, and feeling helpless, then you may need to go, despite what happens. </p><p></p><p>Turning over every last stone. One way to look at it is, we've done everything. The other way to look at it is under every stone, there could be more heartache and emptiness, or worse. That is the nature of our situations.</p><p></p><p>The only real respite is that which we find in ourselves. Every way we look outside of ourselves can be a distorted funhouse mirror. Or a fantasy.</p><p></p><p>Your child is greatly loved. He knows that love.</p><p></p><p>Who can know what the right thing to do is? I have turned over every stone. At this point, I think it was enabling and self-delusion, more than love. More than likely I will still do the same, but I don't think it is from the best part of me. Others may. I don't. On second thought, who knows what I think? I am beyond thinking now.</p><p></p><p>People every day, find a way to turn the corner. I don't know if it's something inside of them, something intrinsic or Divine. </p><p></p><p>Eventually, our sons' survival will depend on what they do, what they think, and how they respond.</p><p>G-d bless you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 764489, member: 18958"] Hi Beta. I am sorry that I only saw your thread just now. I think the decision is based more upon what you and your husband need for yourselves. I could see going there and being heartsick either because you don't find him or because he won't respond to your efforts, and is in bad shape. On the other hand, if you're heartsick at home, beating yourself up, and feeling helpless, then you may need to go, despite what happens. Turning over every last stone. One way to look at it is, we've done everything. The other way to look at it is under every stone, there could be more heartache and emptiness, or worse. That is the nature of our situations. The only real respite is that which we find in ourselves. Every way we look outside of ourselves can be a distorted funhouse mirror. Or a fantasy. Your child is greatly loved. He knows that love. Who can know what the right thing to do is? I have turned over every stone. At this point, I think it was enabling and self-delusion, more than love. More than likely I will still do the same, but I don't think it is from the best part of me. Others may. I don't. On second thought, who knows what I think? I am beyond thinking now. People every day, find a way to turn the corner. I don't know if it's something inside of them, something intrinsic or Divine. Eventually, our sons' survival will depend on what they do, what they think, and how they respond. G-d bless you. [/QUOTE]
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