I Probably Shouldn't......But........

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Oct 23, 2008.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    That's so not a good way to title a post. :tongue:

    I've decided to help Travis pay for his new glasses. We went to welfare. And I swear I think they've hired the latest caseworkers with a new level of stupid there. They just sent Travis paperwork notifying him that his childcare was about to run out. That would be funny if it wasn't that we're waiting on insurance for him.:mad: So Nichole is calling them today to see if they meant her instead of Travis. Idiots. I kid you not, this caseworker has got a brain of mush.

    Lion's club here wasn't all that helpful. Did try frames, but none fit his lenses. Been trying to get in touch with the Crippled children and Adults but no one answers the phone. Gonna try again yet tomorrow.

    Travis went to walmart to get a contact lense exam last payday and it turned out to be more money than he had. Kroger offered to pay for the glasses if his gets the exam.

    Sooooooooooooo. I got my school loan refund yesterday. I told Travis when I picked him up from work that if he spent so much as a dime of his paycheck I'd skin him. He is to make an appointment with the eye doctor who can see him the fastest. He is going to help me pay for the new glasses. And this will be a small fortune for me financially if Kroger backs out on buying the glasses themselves. I don't care how bad the frames look......he's going for cheap and repairable, not glamour.

    The boy can barely see with the glasses, and without has been a nitemare.:mad:

    husband has tried the last 3 paychecks to get me to go get glasses (needed desperately) for us, but I refuse. I just can't bring myself to go out and get glasses for us when our blind son is doing without and can't see. In my sense of morals that is just plain wrong all the way around.

    So probably a big mistake. But I'm going to do it knowing it going in. I just can't stand to watch him holding the lense for his good eye up to his face while trying to function, tripping over obvious things, running into everything, and not being able to do things he likes to do anymore.

    Although this has driven one very basic truth home to Travis that I've never seemed to be able to.........

    The boy is blind.

    Sigh. Guess everything does happen for a reason.:faint:
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    And, what, pray tell, is the alternative to helping your son? Letting him walk around blind? Sorry, but this falls into the category of helping your child. Not enabling. Not supporting. Helping. The glasses are a necessity. It really is that simple. Honestly, I'd be more willing to give my child glasses than I would food. He's tried every avenue to get them without you helping to pay. He really needs whatever limited vision the glasses give him for his own survival. So, this board auntie says you are doing 100% the right thing.
  3. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    I say you are not enabling--this does not qualify. You are doing the right thing!
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    You are soooooo doing the right thing.

    The comment in your post, however, about not getting yourself or H the exam and needed glasses really rang true for me. I desperately need to get my behind to the eye DR and get some glasses that are actually prescribed for my eyes rather than picking up those cheapy glasses at Borders for reading. I use these cruddy ones I bought from 39dollarglasses.com for driving, which are passable, but very flimsy and one pair isn't even correct. Anyway, this morning I just read an article in the paper about how 38% MORE of Americans are NOT seeking medical care due to financial constraints - even those with insurance coverage - because the costs are too high. I know that it's typical, since the beginning of time, for parents to see to their children's needs before their own, but without preventative care up front, it could mean major medical care needs later. This scares me so much. difficult child desperately also needs an eye exam and new glasses. Monkeyboy took hers months ago and then told her he lost them. I think he destroyed them. Rat. Anyway, sorry for the babbling.

    I hope Krogers come through for you and Travis.
  5. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    This doesn't fall into the category of enabling, as far as I can see. Travis has tried different ways to get an eye exam and glasses, and it's not working. And the boy is blind. This falls into the 'necessity' category and you shouldn't feel bad about helping him! Plus, he's going to help you pay for the glasses, right? Please don't feel bad - you are doing the right thing! :)
  6. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Another vote in the "you're doing the right thing" camp.
    Lisa, as you say, Travis is blind. Helping him to get glasses is the right thing to do. Don't beat yourself up.

  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thanks guys. With Travis I often find myself walking a tight rope it seems. It's not easy treating him the same as the other kids while also needing to make allowances for his disabilities. Sometimes the line gets blurred so bad I'm not sure which way I should jump. I don't want to coddle him, but I also don't want to leave him hanging out to dry either.

    He'd urked me when he spent his one good paycheck (other than this latest one) to go paintballing with sister in law when he knew he needed the glasses. Urked me enough I'd decided not to help him, but let him solve it on his own.

    Not one of my smartest decisions. lol

    First off they weren't giving him hours at work because no glasses really ran the fact home to krogers hey, the kid really is blind. Which mean he had no money. And Travis refuses to talk on the phone unless I stand over him and force him. And the occasional hanging out with sister in law is the only socialization the kid gets. He really looks forward to it. So can't really fault him too much for wanting to go so bad.

    But it did get him to saving what little money he could toward the eye exam. So maybe a little progress was made. *shrugs* And it did stress to him that as an adult husband and I aren't going to just fix it for him like we did when he was a kid.

    Odds are I'll have to call the eye doctor, too. I'd forgotten about his issue with the phone until I just stated it here. And heck, I've got to make an appointment for me anyway.

    Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed Krogers comes thru on their offer or I can get someone to pick up the phone at the other organization.

  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Daisy -

    Get a hold of Susie* and ask her what that web site is where you get glasses VERY NICE ONES for $39.00 - no joke and they are sent right to your home.

    I think it's called $39.00 glasses.......
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thanks Star! I will. That way even if Krogers doesn't back out he'll have a spare pair. :D

  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't often read this forum but did today. My old student teacher used to get glasses on line for $8.00. Don't know if this is the right site but found it and thought I would pass it along. http://www.zennioptical.com/cart/home.php
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I have had several pairs of glasses from Zenni Optical and they held up well. They were NOT as sturdy as some I have had, but were not as flimsy as others. LOOK at the enlarged pics of the frames before you order.

    I also have used the $39 dollar glasses place, and I was not as happy with them - took longer to get and they have to ride down my nose to fit the pupil properly.

    The real key is to get the pupillary distance measured at a Lenscrafters or pearle and then go order online. They are not supposed to give you grief about asking for this measurement, but the last time I DID get some grief - but not much.

    For more info on glasses, read this blog - www.glassyeyes.com . It is quite informative, in my opinion.

    It MAY be more cost to get Travis' glasses at a local shop, esp if he breaks them often. The ones you buy online generally have no warranty. And I do NOT recommend the ones that can bend and pop back into shape. I have had trouble with them from mail order AND from the pricey local place with them not holding an adjustment and with screws coming out and being hard to fix.

    I have a high power prescription and a LOT of astigmatism, so not the easiest rx to fit. husband has a fairly easy rx, even for bifocals, so the online ones have been a breeze for him.