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I really don't want to do this anymore !!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 677062" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Vent away, ST, and I hope tonight you are feeling better. Venting sure helps me.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't think any of us feel like we "got there." I know I sure don't...EVER. It is more like going through something that would have sent me bouncing off into the sunset and noticing after the fact that this time I only bounced halfway down the block. So I think it sounds to me like you are putting some pressure on yourself...I am not sure any of us ever truly "gets there."</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't want to be all Pollyanna here, but ST, are things really 3 times worse?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>At least in this area things are better, right? A year is a long time to sustain niceness just to manipulate you. Maybe she is growing up and starting to appreciate you?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>is it possible that things are better here too, that perhaps he is trying to provide for his family, to get a house with a nice yard for the kids to play in?</p><p></p><p>Maybe your daughter has decided that right now she wants to focus on raising her family?</p><p></p><p>I don't know...I'm just musing out loud here...but sometimes a change in perspective makes a huge difference.</p><p></p><p>When I look back on what my husband and I survived on, it's really pretty amazing we made it at all. We couldn't afford the rent, couldn't afford groceries, couldn't afford me quitting my job...but somehow we did.</p><p></p><p>The blunt truth is that this is their life, their successes to earn and their mistakes to make. It's not pretty to watch, but it also isn't yours to fix. It's THEIRS to fix.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>How would things change for you, ST, if you just put that down, that expectation you have imposed on yourself, that you should fix it?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 677062, member: 17720"] Vent away, ST, and I hope tonight you are feeling better. Venting sure helps me. I don't think any of us feel like we "got there." I know I sure don't...EVER. It is more like going through something that would have sent me bouncing off into the sunset and noticing after the fact that this time I only bounced halfway down the block. So I think it sounds to me like you are putting some pressure on yourself...I am not sure any of us ever truly "gets there." I don't want to be all Pollyanna here, but ST, are things really 3 times worse? At least in this area things are better, right? A year is a long time to sustain niceness just to manipulate you. Maybe she is growing up and starting to appreciate you? is it possible that things are better here too, that perhaps he is trying to provide for his family, to get a house with a nice yard for the kids to play in? Maybe your daughter has decided that right now she wants to focus on raising her family? I don't know...I'm just musing out loud here...but sometimes a change in perspective makes a huge difference. When I look back on what my husband and I survived on, it's really pretty amazing we made it at all. We couldn't afford the rent, couldn't afford groceries, couldn't afford me quitting my job...but somehow we did. The blunt truth is that this is their life, their successes to earn and their mistakes to make. It's not pretty to watch, but it also isn't yours to fix. It's THEIRS to fix. How would things change for you, ST, if you just put that down, that expectation you have imposed on yourself, that you should fix it? [/QUOTE]
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I really don't want to do this anymore !!!!!!
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