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I really don't want to do this anymore !!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 677284" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Albatross, thank you.</p><p></p><p>While I have a significant other, M, he is not my son's father. Selfishly I wish I had somebody on this earth to share my pain with, like you have your husband.</p><p></p><p>They say nobody would live their lives if they knew up front where they were going. Would we have done it again or not? Would you, could you have imagined what this would be?</p><p></p><p>I have had a successful life, by measures of success. While not necessarily a happy life, I have had success. I can list achievements.</p><p></p><p>Adopting my son was my greatest one. I know that deep inside me was a sense of deep hopelessness and a sense of not being good enough. With that the ground inside of me, I persevered. With such a strong need to succeed, to counteract my own inadequacy imagine what it is for me to be tethered to this struggle together with my son. I cannot even bear to think about it.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry to be glum. But I have to face deep inside myself my own deepest fears and deep sense of damage. Only then can I be strong enough not only to face what will come, but to have real hope based upon the reality of life, not upon fantasy.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 677284, member: 18958"] Albatross, thank you. While I have a significant other, M, he is not my son's father. Selfishly I wish I had somebody on this earth to share my pain with, like you have your husband. They say nobody would live their lives if they knew up front where they were going. Would we have done it again or not? Would you, could you have imagined what this would be? I have had a successful life, by measures of success. While not necessarily a happy life, I have had success. I can list achievements. Adopting my son was my greatest one. I know that deep inside me was a sense of deep hopelessness and a sense of not being good enough. With that the ground inside of me, I persevered. With such a strong need to succeed, to counteract my own inadequacy imagine what it is for me to be tethered to this struggle together with my son. I cannot even bear to think about it. I am sorry to be glum. But I have to face deep inside myself my own deepest fears and deep sense of damage. Only then can I be strong enough not only to face what will come, but to have real hope based upon the reality of life, not upon fantasy. COPA [/QUOTE]
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I really don't want to do this anymore !!!!!!
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