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I requested meeting with school. difficult child "fine" at school, but terror at home?? Advice?
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 514702"><p>My son is the same way and when I have questioned why, the therapist and the psychiatrist have both told me that they hear this ALOT. My friend calls them school agels, home devils. I hope that's not offensive. I was at a meeting with one of his teachers one time and she told me that difficult child was such a wondeful little boy and she wishes that she could have a whole classroom full of him. I looked at her and said, "difficult child? Are you talking about my difficult child?" She asked what was wrong with difficult child and replied, "Where do I start?" As he's gotten older I have found this to be one of the most frustrating parts of his issues. The teachers love him! Then he comes home to me and he's a totally different person.</p><p></p><p>What I have been told, and in some ways I agree with this, is that he spends so much energy during the school day keeping himself together. He's pleasant to the teachers and other kids. If something bothers him he has to hold it all in because he does not want the teachers or other kids to see him throwing a tantrum. Then, when he comes home, he knows that home is "safe". Home is where everyone will love him no matter what. Have you ever told your son that you will always love him, no matter what he does? He knows that, so he knows he can unload on you because he can't unload on the teachers or they may not like him. Does that make any sense?</p><p></p><p>My son is alot older than yours, so I get really frustrated with it. At this point, in alot of way, I think that he's making a choice to behave this way. I'm not sure if you son is really doing that because he is so young.</p><p></p><p>And when you talk about your son being so oppositional when you talk to him? Yeah, mine does that, too, but I think that mine does it to push my buttons. He'll ask me a questions, like when are we going out for dinner, and I'll tell him in two hours. And he will reply, "So, we're going now? Why aren't we going now?" And if you call him on it he'll tell me that he's only joking and that I have to learn how to take a joke. It would be a joke if he was being funny.</p><p></p><p>What does he do whenhe gets home from school? Does he have time to unwind and have some down time? If you can, try to build that into his day. I have found that helps difficult child alot because then he doesn't feel like he always has to be "on", if you know what I mean.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 514702"] My son is the same way and when I have questioned why, the therapist and the psychiatrist have both told me that they hear this ALOT. My friend calls them school agels, home devils. I hope that's not offensive. I was at a meeting with one of his teachers one time and she told me that difficult child was such a wondeful little boy and she wishes that she could have a whole classroom full of him. I looked at her and said, "difficult child? Are you talking about my difficult child?" She asked what was wrong with difficult child and replied, "Where do I start?" As he's gotten older I have found this to be one of the most frustrating parts of his issues. The teachers love him! Then he comes home to me and he's a totally different person. What I have been told, and in some ways I agree with this, is that he spends so much energy during the school day keeping himself together. He's pleasant to the teachers and other kids. If something bothers him he has to hold it all in because he does not want the teachers or other kids to see him throwing a tantrum. Then, when he comes home, he knows that home is "safe". Home is where everyone will love him no matter what. Have you ever told your son that you will always love him, no matter what he does? He knows that, so he knows he can unload on you because he can't unload on the teachers or they may not like him. Does that make any sense? My son is alot older than yours, so I get really frustrated with it. At this point, in alot of way, I think that he's making a choice to behave this way. I'm not sure if you son is really doing that because he is so young. And when you talk about your son being so oppositional when you talk to him? Yeah, mine does that, too, but I think that mine does it to push my buttons. He'll ask me a questions, like when are we going out for dinner, and I'll tell him in two hours. And he will reply, "So, we're going now? Why aren't we going now?" And if you call him on it he'll tell me that he's only joking and that I have to learn how to take a joke. It would be a joke if he was being funny. What does he do whenhe gets home from school? Does he have time to unwind and have some down time? If you can, try to build that into his day. I have found that helps difficult child alot because then he doesn't feel like he always has to be "on", if you know what I mean. [/QUOTE]
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I requested meeting with school. difficult child "fine" at school, but terror at home?? Advice?
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