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I spent the morning in tears...
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 678573" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>Spoke with my therapist today who asked if I was sure she even needed the money for prescriptions or was just using that (knowing that would be the thing that would be most likely to open my wallet) to get money. It is possible. She didn't even give me an amount - said, "Oh, it's like a hundred bucks." Later in the conversation she had told me that pharmacy was trying to get it sent a different way through the doctor so insurance would pay. Standing back, remembering her words without emotion, therapist may be right. It may have been a guilt play for money for something else.</p><p></p><p><sigh></p><p></p><p>I long for a time when I can speak to her without wondering, "Is this the truth? Partial truth? Or full manipulation?" Therapist says it doesn't matter whether her words are truth or not as long as I have boundaries and remain consistent with them.</p><p></p><p>But it is hard to ever have a relationship without transparency or trust, when every dialogue feels like a game where the rules are ever changing. I told therapist that I can easily see why d c's relationships don't last bc if she weren't my child, I would not have her in my life and tolerate her lies, manipulations, and abuse. She burns bridge after bridge after bridge, without a care or regret, but knows that mother can never turn her back forever. </p><p></p><p>What a sad, sad life she doesn't even realize she lives. She thinks she has it all figured out - it *works* for her bc there is always someone to take her in, take her where she needs to go, give her a phone to use, food to eat...to take responsibility for her and when she detonates and it ends, she moves on to the next one who will take hold of the hand she puts out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 678573, member: 19905"] Spoke with my therapist today who asked if I was sure she even needed the money for prescriptions or was just using that (knowing that would be the thing that would be most likely to open my wallet) to get money. It is possible. She didn't even give me an amount - said, "Oh, it's like a hundred bucks." Later in the conversation she had told me that pharmacy was trying to get it sent a different way through the doctor so insurance would pay. Standing back, remembering her words without emotion, therapist may be right. It may have been a guilt play for money for something else. <sigh> I long for a time when I can speak to her without wondering, "Is this the truth? Partial truth? Or full manipulation?" Therapist says it doesn't matter whether her words are truth or not as long as I have boundaries and remain consistent with them. But it is hard to ever have a relationship without transparency or trust, when every dialogue feels like a game where the rules are ever changing. I told therapist that I can easily see why d c's relationships don't last bc if she weren't my child, I would not have her in my life and tolerate her lies, manipulations, and abuse. She burns bridge after bridge after bridge, without a care or regret, but knows that mother can never turn her back forever. What a sad, sad life she doesn't even realize she lives. She thinks she has it all figured out - it *works* for her bc there is always someone to take her in, take her where she needs to go, give her a phone to use, food to eat...to take responsibility for her and when she detonates and it ends, she moves on to the next one who will take hold of the hand she puts out. [/QUOTE]
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I spent the morning in tears...
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