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I spent the morning in tears...
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 678648" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>So I am curious - how many times do you have to say NO before they hear it? </p><p></p><p>Today was new tactic: big long guilt text and "she had worked some things out" and now she only needs half the money she needed but if I can't do it, she "understands." (Not really.) I have decided not to answer (which will be my answer) in the hopes to avoid a vicious attack.</p><p></p><p>Since she refused therapy, I have told her no...no...no...no...but it is getting harder and I get more and more anxious knowing that at any moment she can blow apart. I don't know any other ways to word it. I have clearly and plainly said, several times, "You have made your choice. You are going to have to make your own arrangements and take care of your own business. It is your responsibility because this is what you wanted." I have said that seven ways to Sunday, hubs has said it numerous times, and she will wait a few days or a week and then there is a "request" of some kind..."I need you to..." or "Can you..." </p><p></p><p>Are they deaf to our voice unless it is saying what they want to hear? I feel like a rag doll constantly shook in the jaws of her constant needs and wants. No matter how many times I say no, she just keeps on. </p><p></p><p>So how many not otherwise specified until she knows I mean it? Or how can I say NO in a way that is final? (Without a fight?)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 678648, member: 19905"] So I am curious - how many times do you have to say NO before they hear it? Today was new tactic: big long guilt text and "she had worked some things out" and now she only needs half the money she needed but if I can't do it, she "understands." (Not really.) I have decided not to answer (which will be my answer) in the hopes to avoid a vicious attack. Since she refused therapy, I have told her no...no...no...no...but it is getting harder and I get more and more anxious knowing that at any moment she can blow apart. I don't know any other ways to word it. I have clearly and plainly said, several times, "You have made your choice. You are going to have to make your own arrangements and take care of your own business. It is your responsibility because this is what you wanted." I have said that seven ways to Sunday, hubs has said it numerous times, and she will wait a few days or a week and then there is a "request" of some kind..."I need you to..." or "Can you..." Are they deaf to our voice unless it is saying what they want to hear? I feel like a rag doll constantly shook in the jaws of her constant needs and wants. No matter how many times I say no, she just keeps on. So how many not otherwise specified until she knows I mean it? Or how can I say NO in a way that is final? (Without a fight?) [/QUOTE]
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