I talk to hear my teeth rattle

[susiestar]

NOT because I actually have a clue.

This is what my family thinks when I ask them to do anything. husband was asked to throw in a load of kid clothes. Assured me that J had a load of clean clothes and thank you had just put some clothes in the wash. yeah, not one item of J's fit. He grabbed clothes with-o asking her. thank you put in 1 pair of shorts and 2 shirts. It was a load of husband's stuff and thank you didn't think there was room for anything else. I had to get the "emergency" pair of undies out for him. Kept for when husband pulls this bonehead stunt.

The entire family thinks I am an idiot for insisting that food should be covered, in a ziploc, or in a sealed plastic container. husband actually put an entire bag of tortilla chips in a plastic bucket with HOLES in the lid. Assured me bug couldn't get into hoels the size of those in notebook paper. He was a flipping BIOLOGIST!!!!!! No one here will wrap anything they put in the fridge. NO ONE but me.

I guarantee that if I say we use skim milk my husband will go buy whole milk. HE is the one who insisted on skim years ago, so we adapted. whole milk makes the kids sick to their stomachs. But if I say a certain kind of something, it has to be something else that gets picked up.

ARRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And when something goes wrong, it is MY fault. MINE. Every time. The cheese all dried up in the fridge? Mom's fault. NOT the person who put it away with-o closing it. Chips stale?? Mom's fault. (Mom has an ice cream bucket labelled CHIPS that seals shut - it was NEXT TO THE container husband put chips in. NEXT TO IT when he put the chips in it.

I quit. Can I come live with one of you for a week?

 

[mstang67chic]

You don't want to come to MY house then. This is the house of half a tomato laying bare on the frig shelf (husband), of leftovers plopped on a paper plate and tossed in the frig (husband and difficult child), of a dinner plate with two bites left on it in the frig (difficult child), of cereal boxes wide open (difficult child), of all types of things just like your house.

We need our OWN house, jointly owned, to use as a safe house. With Raoul as a house boy of course.

And lots of corners. No...wait. If it's just us, do we NEED the corners?

Tall privacy fence in the back yard for nekkid ciggie breaks, doorbells on mats outside the door for mute dogs, sound proof rooms in case someone wants to blast their music, a couple of those chair things on tracks that take people up and down stairs, plenty of bathrooms (handicapped accessible), plenty of computers, lots of dog and kitteh toys and space for them to have their quiet time.

Anything else needed in this house?

 

[susiequte]

Diet Coke on tap

 

[Abbey]

Oh, you're MORE than welcome to come live in my retro house.

Abbey

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Wow, our dogs got the last of the potatoes last night because since I wasn't last in line they didn't get wrapped up. My fault for thinking that the last person (husband) would take care of it. He is usually much better about that.

beth

 

[Star*]

WELL MY GOD - if YOU do that much work - you can come live with me HERE - I need a maid.



i drink 2 %
I eat cheese or it goes in a zip lock
EVERYONE does their own laundry and has for years - no joke - I don't filthy it? Why should I wash it? AFTER 10 Dude did his own. DF always has or I fold it, and throw out the holey biker shirts.
I am an avid lover of cling wrap - it's like bubble wrap without the pizzaz....but you can't wrap leftovers in bubble wrap. and you can NOT cut shoe inserts out of bubble wrap - the office still laughs at me for that one. Not one of my brighter moments
We make a list WRITTEN LIST - or FACE THE WRATH OF THE DEATH STAR UPON RETURNING HOME WITH THE WRONG CHOCOLATE -

So yeah - come on - we're headdin' into a hurricane - but I bet we dont' even get rain.

 

[OpenWindow]

OMG we're living in a parallel universe. Sounds exactly like my house. And, they put their dishes in the sink with food still in it, and we don't have a garbage disposal. And, they put their trash on the kitchen table instead of in the trash can.

A 60s retro kidless house sounds like heaven to me.

 

[susiestar]

Tonight - after I grumped at husband earlier in the day. I told him to make scrambled eggs adn toast for dinner - migraine and I'm not eating. So he asks me if I want BACON!!!!

I tell him (if I don't specifically tell him he will NOT fix any kind of fruit or veggie) to serve the applesauce that is IN THE BIG FRIDGE with the eggs and toast.

I then hear him telling the kids to look for a jar of applesauce. They looked in the cabinet. In the little fridge where drinks and school size applesauce (which we are almost out of). In the FREEZER - I kid you not - husband was looking in the freezer above the fridge and Jess in the big freezer. Neither one could figure out WHERE I would put a jar of applesauce!!! thank you saw me put the applesauce in the fridge and couldn't figure out where it was. I turned around and walked away.

husband then CAME IN TO ASK ME WHERE THE APPLESAUCE WAS. I rolled away from him and pulled the blanket over my head.

I'm not talking to these people. Not for a LOOOOOOONG time. Or until I have to get them off to school tomorrow.

I just IM'd husband to go find thank you's shoes in the closet. I can't move the boxes husband piled in there on top of the shoe bin. I told him to go talk to thank you if there are questions. I said WHICH shoes. I am NOT having ANYTHING to do with shoes tomorrow.

I spoke to husband about the need to do this. From his IM he had NO IDEA he needed to help in this endeavor.

What are these people smoking???????

 

[mstang67chic]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who seems to talk stupid. Do they not listen to us or what?

husband called me when I was at Dad's when Stepmom was in the hospital. We needed more bath towels and he had a gift card so he was going to get some that he saw on sale. He called me to see what color I wanted (good) and then asked if I wanted anything else. I told him to pick up a few hand towels. You would think that would not need translation right? HA. He asks if I mean hand towels (like what you dry your hands on) or wash cloths (like what you wash with). You've GOT to be kidding me!!

 

[susiestar]

Mustang, my husband has not admitted to the need for new towels in our marriage. If he had a gift card and towels were on sale, what video game would he come home iwth? Zelda or Tak? Well, of course it would be pokemon!!!! (I wish I were joking - he had one from work and insisted that it be used to get a nintendo ds system just before thanksgiving, when I could have gotten the xmas gifts for what he spent on that thing. AND I wouldn't have to listen to him and thank you fight over who's turn it is to play it!)

Wow, I am in awe - your husband realized you needed new bath towels. (NOT KIDDING HERE!)

 

[mstang67chic]

LOL Don't get too excited. It's only because we were down to five because of difficult child's habit of throwing them away. That and we're always out of clean towels because difficult child has to have a fresh one for every shower. (even if he takes more than one a day)

 

[witzend]

My house is the same way. 25 years we have been together, and once - once! - I asked husband to get me unsalted butter for a recipe. Every time now, unsalted butter. And he started to buy everything else unsalted, too. No, I don't salt anything I cook, so we aren't a big salt family. There's salt on the table. So, now we get unsalted tomato sauce, unsalted vegetables, unsalted everything! I don't even bother sending him to the store. Or maybe that was his plan!

It's not just the shopping, it's the yard work. Do you know how many years I have babied my lawn along just to have him scalp it? He'll mow it for a few weeks or maybe a month (grass grows really well in the Pacific NW) and then all of a sudden, he'll lower the blade as low as it will go and he'll cut straight into the dirt. We live on a sloped lot, with lots of little hillocks in the back. Every year.

It's the laundry. "I thought you washed everything in hot with bleach!" Especially if their work clothes aren't in the load. It's everything!

I swear they do it to keep you from asking them to do anything! And then they act like you're the only genius on the block who can figure out how to use the vacuum. Harumph!

 

[flutterbee]

I can only say.....

I'm sooooooooooo glad I'm single.

 

[Hound dog]

Susie.................

I'm looking all over my house for you.................

But I don't see you..............

Are you hiding......................????

Cuz it sounds like you're at my house.

Nichole got a wild hair tonight and decided to really clean the living room. When I asked her Who was coming over..........I got a nasty look. (well. it's what they always ask me!) Then she insisted I help her. I asked her why should I?? It's not MY mess. I spend 95 percent of my time in the kitchen. I got that nasty look again. So I reminded her that most of what she was cleaning up was Aubrey's mess.

Then she asked nicely. And I told her it doesn't feel so good to be on the recieving end of those smart aleck answers does it?

I have a nice clean livingroom.

 

[gcvmom]

Oh, I gave up on having a normal house about 12 years ago when I was prego with difficult child 2.

Ya know, when I worked, I grumbled that husband never rinsed his dishes, let alone loaded them in the dishwasher. I complained that he didn't clean up his messes in the kitchen. I kibbitzed that he left his dirty laundry wherever he took it off. He never washed laundry the right way (put heavy jeans in with permanent press and wondered why his jeans never dried and his shirts were wrinkled), and certainly didn't know how to fold things properly and resented me trying to show him how. He never put things away when he was done with them, and he always forgot to close up or lock up (consequently, things got stolen -- wow!).

So when I quit work to have babies, I thought maybe things would get better since I'd have more time to devote to picking up the slack, as it were.

Wrong. I gave birth to a difficult child (didn't realize it until I was already prego with difficult child 2). And after difficult child 2, I must've hit my head, 'cuz I intentionally tried for a girl after that, and it's been one glorious day in bedlam after another since the day she was born!

SO I just gave up on ever having a neat, tidy, clean house. No nice furniture (I try to buy stuff at consignment stores so I don't feel so bad if it gets wrecked). I tell people I'm going for the "distressed" look. I MEANT for that oak table to have water rings and gouges in it. That leather couch? It's supposed to have scratches and tears in it. The impermeable Pergo floor? We're actually a demo house where we try to prove them wrong. That paint on the wall? It's supposed to have stuff splashed on it near the ceiling (oops! DON'T look at the ceiling -- and if you do, DON'T ask me what that stuff is up there... I don't remember anyway). Oh, and yes, we are DUST BUNNY RANCHERS, didn't you know? I won a blue ribbon at the county fair for having the biggest ones on record! We grow 'em BIG in my house!

What do you mean I have to put my clean clothes away? In the right drawers? Why can't I leave my dishes here on the table? With the food I spilled on the floor under my chair? Why do I have to use soap? Or shampoo? You want me to bathe? ...

 

[KTMom91]

OK...you've been at my house, too! On my way to the kitchen, I trip on the plate Hubby put on the floor for Bud to finish about an hour ago. On my way back to my chair, I bump into that precious crapola pile of important things that might be worth something someday. And the phrase "Can you please put the leftover spaghetti in the fridge?" translates into Husband as "Please continue to sit on your happy butt watching SciFi, and when I get over the current round of dizziness that my medications put me into, I'll be happy to take care of it."

Yep.

 

[susiestar]

He had the nerve to come and ask me for advice on a problem at work. Usually I just listen and give sympathy. This time he flat out asked for advice. Then he made fun of EVERYTHING I suggested. I cannot believe this. I have more experience in handling this corporate kind of thing, which is why he asked me. But to outright make fun of me??

I finally told him to ahve a good night, I love him, but as he is totally disrespecting everything I say I will speak to him at another time. Adn I shut the door. he is sleeping on the couch until the earthquake leg thing is resolved, so he doesn't know I spent 15 minutes crying because he was so cruel.

He is doing more and more of that lately (ask for help and then make fun of me), I hate it. We will talk about it tomorrow or on the weekend.