the one I'm worried about. We had her youngest son over last night for dinner. He said we were supposed to call her. I called today. Turns out she wanted to know how to tell her oldest son about their grandmother, who has been ill in the hospital. Turns out she has lung cancer. C. said he is very close to his grandmother and she didn't want to tell him over the phone and was going to talk to us to get some ideas (maybe she wanted us to tell him?). She ended up telling her younger two sons, who will tell the oldest this afternoon. Not the way I would have done it. I would have done it over the phone. In fact, I would have flown home for the diagnosis. Even though my mom and I didn't get along, it's one of those things you do when you're a responsible adult. (Get my drift?) At any rate, we were able to chat a bit because her boyfriend, S. has been working 12-hr days or 12-hrs of overtime a wk or something. She said she's having a great time going to the gym, shopping, and going out dancing with-S at night. Long story short, she said exactly what everyone expected her to say: "I just want to have fun!" That's great, I replied. Everyone wants you to have fun. Even your boys. She said she doubted that, and went into a dissertation on how this is her first boyfriend and everyone has reacted very strongly, and she was shocked at her boys and her mother. I started to say that maybe it's not just the new boyfriend-replacing-Dad thing, but S.'s personality that is an additional overlay. but then my phone cut off! (I was in a dr's ofc with-cement and glass, etc.) Aaaargh! I called back immediately, but the spell was broken and she then asked how everyone was, how were the kids, etc. Grrr. I told her I had emailed her and asked her to see Mama Mia (I actually got the idea when I saw Nomad's note) because I she obviously likes music and dancing. But she said she hadn't gotten the email. I think she changed servers so I'll have to get it straight. (She just responded. She changed servers.) At any rate, when I told her that her son not only ate everything on his plate, incl. herbed chicken, vegetables and wild rice from MN, but asked for seconds, and had ice cream for dessert, she burst out laughing. She said she'd spent a lot of time b4 she left, teaching him cooking skills. She said he's supposed to tell the 21-yr-old when he's hungry, because the 21-yr-old will just go with-o eating. And the 24-yr-old is an excellent cook, but doesn't spend much time around the house. (Especially when you served him an eviction notice! I wanted to say.) "I guess he was just hungry for real food," she laughed. I wanted to add, "And a real mom." At dinner last night, husband and I were talking about our difficult child and how he had to memorize all 50 states and capitols and had a huge test on it at the end of the yr. As a joke, my husband yelled, "Quick, what's the capital of VA?" The home-schooled 14-yr-old said, "I don't know." I think our eyes popped out of our heads. We both said, "But you've been there. It's between Williamsburg and Wash. D.C." He still didn't know and we had to tell him. "Haven't you ever had to memorize the states?" we asked. "No." "What do you study for school?" "Whatever my mom has me read. She just tells me to read something every day and I do." Aaaarrrgh! Sheesh. She doesn't get it. Sigh. I just hope to d*G that she gets her fun out of her system with-o making the 14-yr-old move to another state ... and another, and another ... because S. does short contracts with-the gov't (he does something with-computers) and he moves a lot. That's not a good life for a kid. My conclusion: She's a flake. Everyone deserves to have fun. But not at another's expense. Thanks for letting me vent.