I think difficult child is getting desperate...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Dec 19, 2012.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Hi all,

    I am way behind on posts... been busy so I apologize if I have not responded to all of you wonderful people..... got a fb msg from difficult child today asking me to look into places that take our insurance but wont cost us anything. Ha hard to find. I realized that I really cant do this for him again.... my resources are the internet really and he needs to find the place he wants and would be willing to commit to.... and work with someone else besides me. So I have basically told him that we will back him up and pay copays and I will pay to help get a duplicate liscense so he can get his id....but he needs to figure this out. I did call the outreach place he has worked with but he has not signed a release so they can not give me any info... so I told him he needs to work with them, sign a release so we can work together.

    He sounds cold and also sounds like he is very into pot these days from his fb posts... I doubt he is serious about any kind of recovery but I think he does want a warm place to sleep.

    So who knows.... I am trying not to get sucked in to much emotionally but am feeling it tonight.

    The good news is my easy child daughter got into first choice for college!!!! So that is exciting.

  2. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Congrats to easy child!!!

    TL, you are right, they do have to want it. As much as we'd like to, we cannot offer up recovery on a silver platter. I'm hoping, now that it is getting colder, than he will decide this isn't the life for him.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    How super exciting for easy child! Hugs to her!!!

    Sorry difficult child is suffering. You sound really smart about it. I can't even imagine how it feels though.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Congrats to easy child that's wonderful news!

    You are right to back off and put this on him.
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good for your easy child!!!! Take time to savor the good things that happen in your easy child's life. I think you are taking just the right tone with your difficult child.

  6. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I'm so happy for easy child! :hi5:

    You're doing great with difficult child - that's too bad about the pot.
  7. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    TL, That really IS exciting...Good for your daughter!!!

    Ya know...everytime I watch the weather these days and see snow storms in Denver I immediately think of your son out there. I'm sure he is getting desperate. This is no way to live.
    I SO hope he will pursue the options and get some help...even if it is due to needing a warm bed to sleep in. I just want him to get really tired of this kind of "living".

    I think you're doing a good job with getting difficult child to participate in his own "recovery" if that's what he wants now.
    Hang in there.
  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Such good news about easy child. I think you are wise to focuse on easy child and let difficult child figure this out on his own.! You have helped and helped and worried and worried some more on his behalf. All to no good end. Put his recovery on him and leave it there. It is healthier all around. Hugs to you I know it is so very hard. especially this time of year. -RM
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Congrats to easy child!!!!

    Agreed on the difficult child front. I learned. We can't want their recovery more than they do and they need to be more invested than we get...prayers being cold really pushes him to wanting it badly....
  10. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Congratulations to easy child. Good job Mom. Prayers that difficult child is serious about his recovery now.