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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I think I am done, and I am so sad...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 587249" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>*Yes I have been there too. We kicked my son out when he was 18... he was using drugs and flagrantly violating all our rules. We were going to give him an ultimatum with 2 weeks to clean up his act or move out.... in that conversation he threatened me and so I went to the police and he had to leave that afternoon! It was one of the worst days of my life.... and what followed was not easy either. He had several arrests, spent 2 weeks in jail and was in and out of rehabs for the next couple of years. Last August he walked out of a treatment program and spent 5 months literally living on the streets. It is amazing how resourceful they can be and the kind of help that is out there for homeless youth. Anyway in January he decided to go back into treatment and is now living in a sober living house that is run by a friend of mine. He is having his struggles but things are different this time. And as completely excrutiating as it was to have my son be homeless on the streets I think we had to do that.... because this time it really is his journey and his choice to be where he is.</p><p></p><p>One piece of advice I got when we kicked him out was to stay in touch with him (via text etc) to just let him know we love him but not to let him come home. That has helped me a lot, because when he is in trouble he calls us. It is a balancing act between loving them, supporting them and not enabling them. I found an alanon group for parents that has really helped me figure out how to do this.</p><p></p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 587249, member: 15801"] *Yes I have been there too. We kicked my son out when he was 18... he was using drugs and flagrantly violating all our rules. We were going to give him an ultimatum with 2 weeks to clean up his act or move out.... in that conversation he threatened me and so I went to the police and he had to leave that afternoon! It was one of the worst days of my life.... and what followed was not easy either. He had several arrests, spent 2 weeks in jail and was in and out of rehabs for the next couple of years. Last August he walked out of a treatment program and spent 5 months literally living on the streets. It is amazing how resourceful they can be and the kind of help that is out there for homeless youth. Anyway in January he decided to go back into treatment and is now living in a sober living house that is run by a friend of mine. He is having his struggles but things are different this time. And as completely excrutiating as it was to have my son be homeless on the streets I think we had to do that.... because this time it really is his journey and his choice to be where he is. One piece of advice I got when we kicked him out was to stay in touch with him (via text etc) to just let him know we love him but not to let him come home. That has helped me a lot, because when he is in trouble he calls us. It is a balancing act between loving them, supporting them and not enabling them. I found an alanon group for parents that has really helped me figure out how to do this. TL [/QUOTE]
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I think I am done, and I am so sad...
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