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General Parenting
I think I am leaning toward removing Son from Residential Treatment Center (RTC)
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 110513" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>David, I'd wait a bit. Do a few more home visits but do real home visits -- not out doing and having fun, but staying at home and talking and seeing how things go when he is bored, mad, etc. Your one visit was very busy. It sounded like it was a super visit and he did very good with the times you said no. But you really need to see what will happen when things are slower.</p><p></p><p>Imagine what will happen if he comes home and goes back to his old ways. Will you be able to cope? To sending him to another place? To the possibility of a judge saying no more Residential Treatment Center (RTC) chances, it is now juvie?</p><p></p><p>The reality is that few kids change that quickly. He's in a very structured setting that makes it much easier to follow the rules. It is much harder for them when they are back in a real world setting with peers to follow. Do you really think he has learned the tools to control his impulses, to not do what he thinks will have him look good to his friends, to truly follow rules?</p><p></p><p>I do understand your pain and your need to be with him, but this isn't about you. This about what is best for him. If you truly think he has learned what he needs to learn -- that he can now control his anger and frustration, that he won't do something incredibly stupid to impress a friend, etc. -- then bring him home. If you honestly think he needs to learn more, then you need to leave him. </p><p></p><p>I've been in your shoes. I wanted my daughter back home so much it almost killed me. I lived for the one weekend I could see her. I would sit by the phone for an hour before it was time for her weekly call. She would sob to come home, that she'd be better, that all would be good. It took every ounce of strength I had to say no, that I would have to trust the judgment of her team because I honestly didn't trust my own judgment. Then I'd sit and cry for a couple of hours. I wanted her with me more than life itself. The only problem is that the life I would be risking in bringing her home early would have been hers.</p><p></p><p>It took my daughter's team 16 months before they felt she was ready to come home. Looking back, she probably should have stayed another few months for a "finishing course." It would have helped her a lot in the long run.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 110513, member: 3626"] David, I'd wait a bit. Do a few more home visits but do real home visits -- not out doing and having fun, but staying at home and talking and seeing how things go when he is bored, mad, etc. Your one visit was very busy. It sounded like it was a super visit and he did very good with the times you said no. But you really need to see what will happen when things are slower. Imagine what will happen if he comes home and goes back to his old ways. Will you be able to cope? To sending him to another place? To the possibility of a judge saying no more Residential Treatment Center (RTC) chances, it is now juvie? The reality is that few kids change that quickly. He's in a very structured setting that makes it much easier to follow the rules. It is much harder for them when they are back in a real world setting with peers to follow. Do you really think he has learned the tools to control his impulses, to not do what he thinks will have him look good to his friends, to truly follow rules? I do understand your pain and your need to be with him, but this isn't about you. This about what is best for him. If you truly think he has learned what he needs to learn -- that he can now control his anger and frustration, that he won't do something incredibly stupid to impress a friend, etc. -- then bring him home. If you honestly think he needs to learn more, then you need to leave him. I've been in your shoes. I wanted my daughter back home so much it almost killed me. I lived for the one weekend I could see her. I would sit by the phone for an hour before it was time for her weekly call. She would sob to come home, that she'd be better, that all would be good. It took every ounce of strength I had to say no, that I would have to trust the judgment of her team because I honestly didn't trust my own judgment. Then I'd sit and cry for a couple of hours. I wanted her with me more than life itself. The only problem is that the life I would be risking in bringing her home early would have been hers. It took my daughter's team 16 months before they felt she was ready to come home. Looking back, she probably should have stayed another few months for a "finishing course." It would have helped her a lot in the long run. [/QUOTE]
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I think I am leaning toward removing Son from Residential Treatment Center (RTC)
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