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I think I am leaning toward removing Son from Residential Treatment Center (RTC)
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 110562" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>David,</p><p></p><p>I think this is something you do need to discuss with Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff, and you do *not* need to discuss with your son right now, at least not specifically. He needs to be focused on working the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) program. In the meantime, you can absolutely start working with staff on transition - followup care plan, have therapist and psychiatrist lined up, get schooling options ironed out, have an emergency plan in case the return home falls apart. And very *clearly* define what the expectations of him will be at home. Once you and staff have it ironed out, and he's continued to maintain appropriate behavior, then you can all sit down and start going over it with him.</p><p></p><p>Two months of "change" isn't, in my humble opinion, real change. How many years of difficult behaviors have you dealt with? He needs to stick with the program he's on and continue to make good choices while dealing with the disappointment of not getting an instant reward in terms of discharge back to home.</p><p></p><p>You say that in the four months between juvie and Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he didn't break the law but home life was bad. I don't know what kind of behaviors you were dealing with, but picture taking them to work with you while trying to get him to do school work. </p><p></p><p>David, your love and devotion for your son come through loud and clear. I know you miss him and want him to be home and for everything to be "okay". But right now this has to be about what he needs in order to be able to function both as a teen and as an adult. He's already been in juvie - you don't want him to end up there again. Personally, I would err on the conservative side - give him the maximum opportunity to benefit from what Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has to offer. The message you're sending him is that you love him so much that you're willing to sacrifice your own happiness so that he has the chance to benefit from treatment and turn his life around.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, I would guess the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has an impressive waiting list of kids waiting to get in. While certainly there is the business side of it, from what you've said it sounds like a good program and I would very seriously doubt they're holding onto kids who don't need to be there. </p><p></p><p>What are the goals in his treatment plan? Has criteria been defined for when the treatment team will start looking at discharge? </p><p></p><p>Don't let yourself do the back and forth. He is there for treatment and he needs to finish it. If he wants to talk to staff about transition, let *him*. That would be a very positive step - self-advocacy. </p><p></p><p>I'm truly truly sorry this is so hard. But if you jump the gun and he comes home before he's ready, this entire experience may end up having been for absolutely nothing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 110562, member: 8"] David, I think this is something you do need to discuss with Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff, and you do *not* need to discuss with your son right now, at least not specifically. He needs to be focused on working the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) program. In the meantime, you can absolutely start working with staff on transition - followup care plan, have therapist and psychiatrist lined up, get schooling options ironed out, have an emergency plan in case the return home falls apart. And very *clearly* define what the expectations of him will be at home. Once you and staff have it ironed out, and he's continued to maintain appropriate behavior, then you can all sit down and start going over it with him. Two months of "change" isn't, in my humble opinion, real change. How many years of difficult behaviors have you dealt with? He needs to stick with the program he's on and continue to make good choices while dealing with the disappointment of not getting an instant reward in terms of discharge back to home. You say that in the four months between juvie and Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he didn't break the law but home life was bad. I don't know what kind of behaviors you were dealing with, but picture taking them to work with you while trying to get him to do school work. David, your love and devotion for your son come through loud and clear. I know you miss him and want him to be home and for everything to be "okay". But right now this has to be about what he needs in order to be able to function both as a teen and as an adult. He's already been in juvie - you don't want him to end up there again. Personally, I would err on the conservative side - give him the maximum opportunity to benefit from what Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has to offer. The message you're sending him is that you love him so much that you're willing to sacrifice your own happiness so that he has the chance to benefit from treatment and turn his life around. Unfortunately, I would guess the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has an impressive waiting list of kids waiting to get in. While certainly there is the business side of it, from what you've said it sounds like a good program and I would very seriously doubt they're holding onto kids who don't need to be there. What are the goals in his treatment plan? Has criteria been defined for when the treatment team will start looking at discharge? Don't let yourself do the back and forth. He is there for treatment and he needs to finish it. If he wants to talk to staff about transition, let *him*. That would be a very positive step - self-advocacy. I'm truly truly sorry this is so hard. But if you jump the gun and he comes home before he's ready, this entire experience may end up having been for absolutely nothing. [/QUOTE]
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