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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 365576" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>We had to make all the arrangements in order to get difficult child 1 to move out. While he claimed he hated us and wanted to move as far away as possible from us, in reality, he had no intentions of leaving. He had no plans, no job, and just wanted to game 24/7. difficult child 1 had put us through so much HE77, was so headstrong, refused to accept responsibility for any of his actions, refused to help around the house, etc... that we knew the only way to help him and save ourselves was to get him into his own place. Natural consequences are the best teachers!!!</p><p></p><p>Anyway, he enrolled in our local community college and he took out student loans. We gave him first and last months rent. We found him a small apartment on a bus line not far from campus. husband cosigned his lease. We helped him move in. We told him he was on his own - better find a job!!! </p><p></p><p>To make a long story short, he did really well for almost a year. We were pleasantly shocked!!! He became polite, considerate, and believe it or not, fun to be around, lol... However, he has been headed in a downward spiral for the past several months. Still, sometimes we see glimpses of the responsible, considerate, fun to be around person he seemed to become. While we're concerned, there is NO way he'll be moving back in with us!!! ( I hope I'm just strong enough to stick to this if he becomes "homeless" at the end of the summer!!! DETACHMENT, DETACHMENT, DETACHMENT, etc...!!! I have to keep repeating this over and over again!!!)</p><p></p><p>I think that you should either make life so unbearable in your home that they voluntarily leave, or give them a deadline to move and stick to it no matter how tough it is for you to do this. You deserve to be able to relax, to be happy in your own home!!! ( I hope I can follow the advice I just gave to you, lol...!!!) </p><p></p><p>Thinking of you... SFR</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 365576, member: 3388"] We had to make all the arrangements in order to get difficult child 1 to move out. While he claimed he hated us and wanted to move as far away as possible from us, in reality, he had no intentions of leaving. He had no plans, no job, and just wanted to game 24/7. difficult child 1 had put us through so much HE77, was so headstrong, refused to accept responsibility for any of his actions, refused to help around the house, etc... that we knew the only way to help him and save ourselves was to get him into his own place. Natural consequences are the best teachers!!! Anyway, he enrolled in our local community college and he took out student loans. We gave him first and last months rent. We found him a small apartment on a bus line not far from campus. husband cosigned his lease. We helped him move in. We told him he was on his own - better find a job!!! To make a long story short, he did really well for almost a year. We were pleasantly shocked!!! He became polite, considerate, and believe it or not, fun to be around, lol... However, he has been headed in a downward spiral for the past several months. Still, sometimes we see glimpses of the responsible, considerate, fun to be around person he seemed to become. While we're concerned, there is NO way he'll be moving back in with us!!! ( I hope I'm just strong enough to stick to this if he becomes "homeless" at the end of the summer!!! DETACHMENT, DETACHMENT, DETACHMENT, etc...!!! I have to keep repeating this over and over again!!!) I think that you should either make life so unbearable in your home that they voluntarily leave, or give them a deadline to move and stick to it no matter how tough it is for you to do this. You deserve to be able to relax, to be happy in your own home!!! ( I hope I can follow the advice I just gave to you, lol...!!!) Thinking of you... SFR [/QUOTE]
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