I think I may have hit rock bottom....completely desperate for help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MidwestMom, Jul 1, 2011.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry things got to this point.

    Can you tell us your story?
  2. Pearose

    Pearose New Member

    I recently relocated to Raleigh NC from PA in effort to raise my daughter in a calmer, safer environment where the school system is able and willing to provide her with the services required for her to be successful. She is 11 years old and was diagnosed ADHD/ODD at the age of 7. It's been rough over the years and her behavior has made it difficult to maintain employment in the past. However, this school year brought a new challenge and she became a bully target. The school or district did not handle the situation so I was forced to home school her for her safety. As a single parent, this made it that much harder for me to find employment that could actually support us. I received an offer from a friend to stay with them in NC to change my daughter's environment. She is back in school and is adjusting well. Services she was unable to receive in previous years are now being provided. Unfortunately, it took longer than expected to find work here. I have a Bachelor's degree from PSU and was working on a Master's degree when things took a turn for the worse, but this hasn’t made my job search any easier.

    My friend's original offer was to let me stay with her until I got myself on my feet and she wouldn't charge rent until I found a job. Unfortunately, once I got here the offer changed and she expected me to cover half of everything immediately. This caused me to go through the little savings I had faster than expected.

    I finally have a full-time job, but my car was just repossessed which makes it almost impossible for me to keep this job on a long-term basis. I need $400 to assist with my half of the rent and monthly bills for July and transportation to and from work and my daughter’s doctor’s appointments until I am able to find a job closer or on a bus route. I am doing my best to get things back on track as soon as possible. I actually have interviews lined up, but if I don't get the rest of this money pretty much NOW....we're gonna end up with no where to stay. The shelters around here are full, every agency, church, etc I've called are unable to assist me. My daughter’s emotional state and behavior have suffered during the last couple of weeks with everything that has been going on which compounds my frustration levels and makes harder for us to be able to stay anywhere else. Because nobody is goin to be able to deal with her. I am hoping that she does not completely revert to her old ways given the progress that she has made since moving here. I’ve always handled adversity pretty well, but this situation may be too much for me.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I am so sorry you're going through all this. I know how it is when you rely on the promises made by others only to have them change their mind and COST us in the process. Just keep in mind that you've survived the worst difficult child dished out so you must be a strong warrior mom.

    Good Luck to you both and I will pray that all works out somehow. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Go to social services there and file an application for emergency financial and housing help. Hopefully, they won't require that you've been a resident there for at least a year.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    good idea.
  6. Pearose

    Pearose New Member

    I've tried social services...I do not qualify for financial assistance and the waiting list for emergency housing is ridiculous. I never thought that actually getting some kind of child support would be a bad thing.....but in this situation it clearly is....My current job is full-time but commission only, and the money is just not coming in....I would 've attempted to find something else sooner, but I lost my car and still dont know the city and public transportation that well. Right now, I have someone that gives me a ride to/from work because we are not making any money she's also thinking about quitting and I have no money to pay for childcare during the crazy hours and there are no funds available for childcare assistance....I just need peace of mind for at least another month...and only $400 can give that while I work everything else out
  7. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest


    Did you contact any of the resources that I suggested last month when you came here looking for financial assistance?

    I am sympathetic to your situation but uncomfortable that you have repeatedly used our forum to post thinly veiled requests that you want people to send you money. You are more than welcome to ask for emotional support, suggestions or just vent here, but seeking donations is a violation of our terms of service.

    Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if there is anything else I can do for you.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with Bunny. I dont know what else to tell you except to get really used to the public transportation system in Raleigh very fast. You are actually lucky you are there and not somewhere without public transportation like down here where I live. Not sure what hours you are working but parks and recreation normally has day camps for a nominal fee or look into the boys and girls club. As far as food, do remember that NC does a free lunch program for kids during the summer and it doesnt go on income. Just show up at the schools that are marked during lunch time and you can eat. It should be marked on the sign in front of the school. We dont want the kids to go hungry that rely on school lunches.
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Pretty much every place I've ever lived also had a shuttle-type or van type transport for the handicapped that could also be used by people with no vehicles if they scheduled at least 24 hours in advance. It was door to door service for $1 each way, about the same as a bus in most places.
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Why, specifically? What reason were you given?

    I didn't qualify until I'd gone through all resources and went below a certain income. I am aware they may require a drug test (for illegal drug use), a financial statement from your bank (if you have one), and proof that you have a child (the birth certificate), but they can offer cash funds on an emergency basis, payment of utility bills (elect and water only), a cell phone, emergency housing, food stamps, actual food and basic living necessaties (toilet paper, diapers, and toothpaste, for example), and child care for single working moms, when applicable. They give a reason as to why you are denied, at least in this state, but every state almost is coming to a general consensus on dss and Department of Juvenile Justice services/requirements. Fortunately, I only needed it for 3-4 mos before finding a job but I had to selll or walk away from almost everything I had.
  11. Pearose

    Pearose New Member

    Thank you...I appreciate it

    I haven't asked anyone to send me money, I've only stated what I need and how I feel about the situation....so yes, I am venting. I've contacted all of the places that you suggested and more and have not been able to get any assistance. Thank you for the information! When I first joined the site..someone told me this was a place where I could vent...without judgment. I guess they were wrong...

    I am currently working second shift hours...so those options do not meet my needs. I never said I needed food...as I currently receive all the assistance that I qualify for via social services regarding food and medical for my daughter

    I have access to a shuttle service for doctor's appointments for my daughter....still trying to find reasonable alternative transportation to work for myself...haven't tapped into that sources yet.

    I do not qualify for financial assistance or the working mother's program because the amount of child support I receive is $12 too high, I get food stamps, medical for my daughter, free school lunch, medical related transportation. There is a 1 1/2 year long waiting list for regular childcare assist...along with there being no more funding available in the county...I have the cell phone and I've never had issues with substance abuse of any kind...
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am sorry if you feel that I was implying anything by telling you about the summer food programs run by the schools, I wasnt. I would think most of us who are having trouble stretching our limited budgets right now would be happy to know about these programs. I was thrilled when I was able to use them when I still had kids under 18. I could take the kids, they could all eat lunch for free and I would just pay about 2 bucks so that meant we all ate lunch for 2 bucks...pretty good deal in my book.

    Other than that, I really dont know what to tell you other than asking your family. Sometimes there are other organizations based on your religion or race but I dont know what those would be so that would be up to you to search for.
  13. Pearose

    Pearose New Member

    I was not offended in anyway by the information you provided. It was just that I never mentioned that I need assistance with food ....I am aware of the programs and will def take advantage of them if necessary :)