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I Think I'm Spinning My Wheels Here
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 382488" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">You are absolutely correct! He does need to learn that you're willing to compromise on some things and not on others. And I agree that there are times when, "Tough Noogies, what I say goes!" whether he likes it or not! I think that's where we get into trouble because they get confused and begin to think that every point is negotiable. We did have to work on this with difficult child in counseling for a bit because she too argued and tried to negotiate every single thing and couldn't understand why there were some things we were willing to discuss and bend on and others we just would not (like her boyfriend driving our car, or no curfew, etc, lol). </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">difficult child needs to know that while you're willing to negotiate some things, you ultimately (as the parent) have the final say and that there are certain rules that are non-negotiable. In my house it's the curfew thing. I don't care how old someone is, if they live here, I need it quiet by 11PM, no later because I need to get my rest. If a friend stays over, same thing - tv's off and quiet time after 11PM. Both of my kids fought me on this gradually throughout their teens and into young adulthood; they really gave me a hard time about it. Finally, I showed them the door and said, "If you want to be up all hours or coming in disrupting someone's home, go find your own" and walked away. They got with the program and they follow it. Of course, your son is likely too young for such arguments, but they run along the same lines - about setting a rule. Sometimes you can compromise, sometimes not and it takes them some time to figure it out, even if you're very consistent. And moving into adolescence adds a challenge.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">You learn how to prioritize your battles, which are: very important, somewhat important and not really that important (or, Basket A, B, C). Best of luck and hugs~</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 382488, member: 2211"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]You are absolutely correct! He does need to learn that you're willing to compromise on some things and not on others. And I agree that there are times when, "Tough Noogies, what I say goes!" whether he likes it or not! I think that's where we get into trouble because they get confused and begin to think that every point is negotiable. We did have to work on this with difficult child in counseling for a bit because she too argued and tried to negotiate every single thing and couldn't understand why there were some things we were willing to discuss and bend on and others we just would not (like her boyfriend driving our car, or no curfew, etc, lol). [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]difficult child needs to know that while you're willing to negotiate some things, you ultimately (as the parent) have the final say and that there are certain rules that are non-negotiable. In my house it's the curfew thing. I don't care how old someone is, if they live here, I need it quiet by 11PM, no later because I need to get my rest. If a friend stays over, same thing - tv's off and quiet time after 11PM. Both of my kids fought me on this gradually throughout their teens and into young adulthood; they really gave me a hard time about it. Finally, I showed them the door and said, "If you want to be up all hours or coming in disrupting someone's home, go find your own" and walked away. They got with the program and they follow it. Of course, your son is likely too young for such arguments, but they run along the same lines - about setting a rule. Sometimes you can compromise, sometimes not and it takes them some time to figure it out, even if you're very consistent. And moving into adolescence adds a challenge.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]You learn how to prioritize your battles, which are: very important, somewhat important and not really that important (or, Basket A, B, C). Best of luck and hugs~ [/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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