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I think my child may have ODD. not sure what to do
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<blockquote data-quote="Justfour" data-source="post: 549049" data-attributes="member: 15155"><p>Thanks for replying. As far as her background goes, she was a great baby, didn't talk properly till 3, understood very well then caught up with her peers. </p><p>I left her father when she was nearly two. I think he may have problems himself as he was very much the same, a lovely generous man then cruel and aggressive for no apparent reason. He once went on anti depressants and was really fine while on them. The girls go out with him once a week. This has been regular since the split bar twice when he disappeared for no reason for about three months.</p><p>from the age of two I could say eg. Watch that wall, it wet with paint don't touch it. Shw would have to touch it. And so it began. School has never been a problem up until this last quarter. She has become defiant and uncooperative there now and strangely not so bad at home. </p><p>She often has thoughts of family, who are well but maybe older members, dying, then getting upset. </p><p>She is the middle girl of three, oldest 23 and youngest 11. She has never been one much for cuddles unless upset and I'm always available for cuddles if she wants. Sometimes I'll give her a hug and I might be pushed away or held onto like a life line. When she is raging she will say I love her younger sister more because she always has cuddles, but her sister is the other extreme and very clingy.</p><p>the only possible trauma I can think of is when they were 3 and 1 years old, I left them with their father overnight and he got drunk. I don't think he was physically abusive (def no marks) but at one point left them on their own for maybe half an hour and she bit her baby sisters face quite severely. I never blamed her for that and made sure she knew it wasn't her fault. They have never stayed overnight since.</p><p>she has low self esteem, any boy gives her attention and she's in love etc. so much so the latest big incident was a boy she was talking to on BBM asked for a private photo and she took one and sent it to him, he then preceded to send it on and everyone she knows in school and locally knows about it or has seen it. She is devastated. I did everything I could to make things better even changing schools in sept cos everyone there knew about it. Made no difference to how she behaves towards me.</p><p>Her and her sister almost can't be in the same room as her sister continually annoys her just being herself (poss Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) ) which is met with physical aggression. She will not hit anyone outside of home though, even if they hither. She has never attempted to hit me but she knows im as big as her and stronger, not sure if thats why. She had one good friend who moved and now four weeks into the summer hols she has not met up with one friend. I'm not sure why as she only behaves this way to me and my eldest, I think.</p><p>they have had a pretty stable upbringing, only two moves, only my daughter or grandparents babysitting.</p><p>their father isn't brilliant but not deliberately cruel either just not great parenting skills. He will say, oh next week then not do it eg. Trip to cinema. Gives her almost everything she wants for an easy life.</p><p>she broke her arm age 6 and since then whenever she has a fall if it's bad enough will complain and cry so much I take her to a and e to get checked out, never anything wrong. This has calmed down a bit as she has got older.</p><p>problem left some stuff out but that's all I can think of for now. Any ideas would be great! Thanks</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Justfour, post: 549049, member: 15155"] Thanks for replying. As far as her background goes, she was a great baby, didn't talk properly till 3, understood very well then caught up with her peers. I left her father when she was nearly two. I think he may have problems himself as he was very much the same, a lovely generous man then cruel and aggressive for no apparent reason. He once went on anti depressants and was really fine while on them. The girls go out with him once a week. This has been regular since the split bar twice when he disappeared for no reason for about three months. from the age of two I could say eg. Watch that wall, it wet with paint don't touch it. Shw would have to touch it. And so it began. School has never been a problem up until this last quarter. She has become defiant and uncooperative there now and strangely not so bad at home. She often has thoughts of family, who are well but maybe older members, dying, then getting upset. She is the middle girl of three, oldest 23 and youngest 11. She has never been one much for cuddles unless upset and I'm always available for cuddles if she wants. Sometimes I'll give her a hug and I might be pushed away or held onto like a life line. When she is raging she will say I love her younger sister more because she always has cuddles, but her sister is the other extreme and very clingy. the only possible trauma I can think of is when they were 3 and 1 years old, I left them with their father overnight and he got drunk. I don't think he was physically abusive (def no marks) but at one point left them on their own for maybe half an hour and she bit her baby sisters face quite severely. I never blamed her for that and made sure she knew it wasn't her fault. They have never stayed overnight since. she has low self esteem, any boy gives her attention and she's in love etc. so much so the latest big incident was a boy she was talking to on BBM asked for a private photo and she took one and sent it to him, he then preceded to send it on and everyone she knows in school and locally knows about it or has seen it. She is devastated. I did everything I could to make things better even changing schools in sept cos everyone there knew about it. Made no difference to how she behaves towards me. Her and her sister almost can't be in the same room as her sister continually annoys her just being herself (poss Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) ) which is met with physical aggression. She will not hit anyone outside of home though, even if they hither. She has never attempted to hit me but she knows im as big as her and stronger, not sure if thats why. She had one good friend who moved and now four weeks into the summer hols she has not met up with one friend. I'm not sure why as she only behaves this way to me and my eldest, I think. they have had a pretty stable upbringing, only two moves, only my daughter or grandparents babysitting. their father isn't brilliant but not deliberately cruel either just not great parenting skills. He will say, oh next week then not do it eg. Trip to cinema. Gives her almost everything she wants for an easy life. she broke her arm age 6 and since then whenever she has a fall if it's bad enough will complain and cry so much I take her to a and e to get checked out, never anything wrong. This has calmed down a bit as she has got older. problem left some stuff out but that's all I can think of for now. Any ideas would be great! Thanks [/QUOTE]
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