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General Parenting
I think my son has ODD.
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 300822" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Hi AJ and welcome to our world of difficult child's. </p><p>Could you give us a little more info?</p><p>How old is your son?</p><p>How does he do in school? </p><p>Does he have friends?</p><p>How does he play? </p><p>We all went through "I don't want my child labeled" phase. Had to throw it out. In the US, you must have the professional evaluate and give a diagnosis in order to get special supports in school. In the end, it was about my son getting help and not my need to keep him unlabeled. </p><p></p><p>Being a step parent especially a new one is a tightrope act. He has responsibilities but no real power. Men do tend to think a firm hand will make difficult child's settle down. It has not been the experience of this board/site that it makes that sort of difference. Clear rules and boundaries are important but unless he is beaten into submission an oppositional child will always buck the rules regardless of stepfather or biofather or no father. It is up to the adult to understand the situation and to try to help <strong>you</strong> to manage it and support you. Acting as a father when he is just new to the family unit doesn't usually work well. He is just person being thrust on son until he gets used to it for better or for worse. Hopefully your husband was fully aware of how difficult your son can be and will not turn and run. He also has to understand the bond of parent and child is not easily ignored. Your child will always be your first responsibility. Balancing the needs of a new husband and difficult child is not going to be easy. </p><p></p><p>I know that there are some cultural differences in how we look at behavior issues and how the male of the house runs his home so ignore me if this isn't relevant to your home. </p><p></p><p>Oppositional children are almost a no win situation until they grow up and through it. You can work to make his environment such to improve his odds of growing up in a positive way or an environment that will worsen his oppositionality. Many of us have tried different ways with different results. Many of us had to just wait to see them grow up and apply the lessons learned some good, some bad. </p><p></p><p>Good luck with the GP but over here we encourage specialists in child behavior to do evaluations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 300822, member: 3"] Hi AJ and welcome to our world of difficult child's. Could you give us a little more info? How old is your son? How does he do in school? Does he have friends? How does he play? We all went through "I don't want my child labeled" phase. Had to throw it out. In the US, you must have the professional evaluate and give a diagnosis in order to get special supports in school. In the end, it was about my son getting help and not my need to keep him unlabeled. Being a step parent especially a new one is a tightrope act. He has responsibilities but no real power. Men do tend to think a firm hand will make difficult child's settle down. It has not been the experience of this board/site that it makes that sort of difference. Clear rules and boundaries are important but unless he is beaten into submission an oppositional child will always buck the rules regardless of stepfather or biofather or no father. It is up to the adult to understand the situation and to try to help [B]you[/B] to manage it and support you. Acting as a father when he is just new to the family unit doesn't usually work well. He is just person being thrust on son until he gets used to it for better or for worse. Hopefully your husband was fully aware of how difficult your son can be and will not turn and run. He also has to understand the bond of parent and child is not easily ignored. Your child will always be your first responsibility. Balancing the needs of a new husband and difficult child is not going to be easy. I know that there are some cultural differences in how we look at behavior issues and how the male of the house runs his home so ignore me if this isn't relevant to your home. Oppositional children are almost a no win situation until they grow up and through it. You can work to make his environment such to improve his odds of growing up in a positive way or an environment that will worsen his oppositionality. Many of us have tried different ways with different results. Many of us had to just wait to see them grow up and apply the lessons learned some good, some bad. Good luck with the GP but over here we encourage specialists in child behavior to do evaluations. [/QUOTE]
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I think my son has ODD.
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