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General Parenting
I think the stress of this one is going to be the one that does me in.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 530496" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The important thing to focus on here, is teamwork, and that the parent is a vital part of the team. Also that your goal is a positive outcome and improvement in conditions for everybody. A punitive approach will not work - not for Q, not for the Occupational Therapist (OT), not for you, not for the supervisor.</p><p></p><p>It does sound to me that the Occupational Therapist (OT) will NOT lose her job over this because this is probably endorsed by the director, at some level. It can always be construed that the Occupational Therapist (OT) is just trying to resolve a serious behavioural concern which surely you would be grateful to have removed. In other words, her heart's in the right place.</p><p></p><p>Then there is the more sinister aspect - "if we can't fix this kid's behaviour problems, we can't work with him or his mother." It's a way of ensuring their statistics reflect a higher success rate in therapeutic outcomes. Gewt rid of the more challenging cases so our stats can look good. You'll find a lot of health professionals work this way - it's a kind of triage and is surely not legal or acceptable ethically, but it can be disguised in so many ways, it is difficult to police it. Again, the Occupational Therapist (OT) would be able to justify her plan sufficiently to not only keep her job, but be congratulated for going beyond the scope of her job to try to get a positive improvement in the child's environment.</p><p></p><p>So what do you do? It sounds to me, Buddy, that you're already doing a lot of the right things. It is really important to keep in the front of your mind when talking to these people, "How can we work together to support one another, to get a better outcome for all concerned?" This makes the assumption, hard for them to refute, that your input is not only essential, it is desirable. It also implies fairly clearly that your input is unavoidable, that you are not going away and you are going to have your say on this whether they want it or not, so they may as well take you on board.</p><p></p><p>If they persist in being obstructive about involving you, watch for the pre-meeting meetings, where you turn up to have your input only to find that they present you with a list that has already been drawn up, and expect you to embrace it warmly. If this happens, be kind to them because they know not with whom they are dealing! Simply say, "It is gratifying to see just how much you care about my child. However, I grieve to see such hard work being misdirected because you did not get the benefit of my considerable experience with this particular child. While I respect your professionalism and expertise in your field, I am a generalist who has had to learn to think laterally and respond immediately. I can be an asset to you in this, and help you save a lot of time and effort."</p><p></p><p>The pre-meeting meeting is a common thing. I've attended many meetings which were pre-determined by a previous very exclusive little group getting their heads together and their stories straight, in the half hour before I arrived. Observe carefully, look for the little glances, the half-said comments "We talked about this already just this morning" is a dead giveaway). Merely take mental notes and if you feel necessary to call them on it, do it in writing after your main meeting and only if you feel you need to use leverage to require changes to their policy. Always keep your correspondence friendly and helpful. There are ways of being firm and insistent but still friendly. It also makes it harder for them to get upset with you, officially, because it makes them look like the troublemakers.</p><p></p><p>If you can do this, if you can keep it up, you often can win through. Simply because - "when rape is inevitable, lie down and enjoy it" applies here to the staff. When they see that they will have a lot more trouble caused by you if they ignore you, they usually take the line of least resistance and give way to at least listen to your concerns. And who knows? They may even take them on board.</p><p></p><p>If you still find extreme stubbornness and a refusal to even listen or to meet with you ("I have every confidence in the professional expertise of my staff; you've been working so hard with your child that you risk losing perspective; it's time for you to rest and let the professionals handle it") then analyse the situation to determine where else pressure is being applied to the service. Sometimes all it takes is one very strong-willed individual on a crusade to change the world, one difficult child at a time. Or you get the professionals who go into health-based work not to help people, but to eradicate the very thing that makes them uneasy. If you've got one of those and they're right at the top, then you can never succeed. But if they're not right at the top, you can find the chink in the system sufficient to insert your metaphorical oyster knife, and prise it wide open, enough to let you in too.</p><p></p><p>Buddy, you're already on the right (war)path. Carry on! Tally ho!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 530496, member: 1991"] The important thing to focus on here, is teamwork, and that the parent is a vital part of the team. Also that your goal is a positive outcome and improvement in conditions for everybody. A punitive approach will not work - not for Q, not for the Occupational Therapist (OT), not for you, not for the supervisor. It does sound to me that the Occupational Therapist (OT) will NOT lose her job over this because this is probably endorsed by the director, at some level. It can always be construed that the Occupational Therapist (OT) is just trying to resolve a serious behavioural concern which surely you would be grateful to have removed. In other words, her heart's in the right place. Then there is the more sinister aspect - "if we can't fix this kid's behaviour problems, we can't work with him or his mother." It's a way of ensuring their statistics reflect a higher success rate in therapeutic outcomes. Gewt rid of the more challenging cases so our stats can look good. You'll find a lot of health professionals work this way - it's a kind of triage and is surely not legal or acceptable ethically, but it can be disguised in so many ways, it is difficult to police it. Again, the Occupational Therapist (OT) would be able to justify her plan sufficiently to not only keep her job, but be congratulated for going beyond the scope of her job to try to get a positive improvement in the child's environment. So what do you do? It sounds to me, Buddy, that you're already doing a lot of the right things. It is really important to keep in the front of your mind when talking to these people, "How can we work together to support one another, to get a better outcome for all concerned?" This makes the assumption, hard for them to refute, that your input is not only essential, it is desirable. It also implies fairly clearly that your input is unavoidable, that you are not going away and you are going to have your say on this whether they want it or not, so they may as well take you on board. If they persist in being obstructive about involving you, watch for the pre-meeting meetings, where you turn up to have your input only to find that they present you with a list that has already been drawn up, and expect you to embrace it warmly. If this happens, be kind to them because they know not with whom they are dealing! Simply say, "It is gratifying to see just how much you care about my child. However, I grieve to see such hard work being misdirected because you did not get the benefit of my considerable experience with this particular child. While I respect your professionalism and expertise in your field, I am a generalist who has had to learn to think laterally and respond immediately. I can be an asset to you in this, and help you save a lot of time and effort." The pre-meeting meeting is a common thing. I've attended many meetings which were pre-determined by a previous very exclusive little group getting their heads together and their stories straight, in the half hour before I arrived. Observe carefully, look for the little glances, the half-said comments "We talked about this already just this morning" is a dead giveaway). Merely take mental notes and if you feel necessary to call them on it, do it in writing after your main meeting and only if you feel you need to use leverage to require changes to their policy. Always keep your correspondence friendly and helpful. There are ways of being firm and insistent but still friendly. It also makes it harder for them to get upset with you, officially, because it makes them look like the troublemakers. If you can do this, if you can keep it up, you often can win through. Simply because - "when rape is inevitable, lie down and enjoy it" applies here to the staff. When they see that they will have a lot more trouble caused by you if they ignore you, they usually take the line of least resistance and give way to at least listen to your concerns. And who knows? They may even take them on board. If you still find extreme stubbornness and a refusal to even listen or to meet with you ("I have every confidence in the professional expertise of my staff; you've been working so hard with your child that you risk losing perspective; it's time for you to rest and let the professionals handle it") then analyse the situation to determine where else pressure is being applied to the service. Sometimes all it takes is one very strong-willed individual on a crusade to change the world, one difficult child at a time. Or you get the professionals who go into health-based work not to help people, but to eradicate the very thing that makes them uneasy. If you've got one of those and they're right at the top, then you can never succeed. But if they're not right at the top, you can find the chink in the system sufficient to insert your metaphorical oyster knife, and prise it wide open, enough to let you in too. Buddy, you're already on the right (war)path. Carry on! Tally ho! Marg [/QUOTE]
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I think the stress of this one is going to be the one that does me in.....
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