scent of cedar
New Member
Sometimes, I post here to keep myself honest. I think this might be one of those times.
It's so hard to see the real story when it's your own child ~ even if she is almost 40. (Which thought always makes my head spin a little. I know that feeling, now. That is denial. I don't want to look at how old difficult child is. I don't want to see that, because it will change how I feel about what I should or should not be doing, and for whom.)
We did put $60 (that would be two weeks worth) in difficult child's account. She called Wednesday morning (and left Facebook message) that she was "tired" of the man with whom she is voluntarily homeless. That she needed to get away from him. (For those who don't remember, difficult child has had accident after accident during the course of her involvement with this jobless, homeless, aging, alcoholic male.) So, I think "tired" means "something broken from a beating." Probably her nose, again. Or maybe, one or two of those beautiful, perfect teeth we spent so much money on for braces.
Here's the thing, though.
I don't feel the same horror I felt, when all this started happening.
If we did not respond (meaning, if there was no money), difficult child planned to hitchhike the 120 miles or so back to the city where she has been homeless. And where she has been running with the other homeless people she calls her "family" since she was evicted from her apartment (and evicted and blacklisted from two of the sleaziest rooming/boarding houses you ever saw) last Winter. As it turns out, difficult child paid the man's sister to drive her back with that money we put into her account. I am positive, and even suspected at the time, that difficult child knew she had this ride lined up all along.
So....
It bothers me so much that difficult child asked, at the same time she wanted that money deposited, whether we wanted to see her this weekend.
That she made sure we knew she would hitchhike, if there were no other way for her to "escape."
Plus? It will probably turn out that the man came with her.
Of course, we said yes we did want to see her this weekend.
And we have heard nothing, since.
When she needed money? She found a way to call.
This is the second or third time something similar has happened.
*****************
And on a brighter note. :O)
Thanks to the sterling Police Department in the city where difficult child was in the accident, we have found the key to the storage unit!
I had been making lots of phone calls re: that stupid key, as you all know. On one of them, I learned the name of the towing company. I called them. The man there was adamant that I could not so much as peek into that van without paying him $90 for the towing fee. Okay, so husband and I were trying to think what to do about that. The next day, I received two return calls from the Police Department. I explained that the situation was pretty much resolved, but thanked the policeman for returning my call.
And do you know what he did?
He asked whether I would like him to call the towing company! And then? He did just that. In fact, the policeman said that it was the strangest thing, but that the man at the towing company just happened to take a little stroll out to the van while he was on the phone with the police man.
And the keys to the van, probably with the storage unit key on the same key chain, are in the ignition.
And now, we get to go get the key.
:O)
I am going to fill in the "Compliment" form for this policeman. I wish I'd kept the names of each of the policemen with whom we have dealt through this whole thing with difficult child.
We forget how amazing and ethical the rest of the world is, when we are dealing with difficult child-related issues and people.
So...I registered to volunteer at a hospital near here, yesterday. I think I'm beginning to accept that difficult child is not going to come back, might never be okay, again. I want to change my life, get control of my thoughts and feelings, again.
Maybe? I will even try to go back to work. I'm 61, so who knows how that will turn out. But the volunteer position will get me going right away.
I've begun thinking, too, about the futility of everything we have gone through, this winter. All those times we couldn't even think straight.... Those few times when we could stop thinking about what had happened. When I think like that, I realize how dark and heavy this feeling of worry and shock is.
I can see the set backs, the good things that never happened, the good things that did happen but that we were too horrified about what had happened with difficult child to enjoy.
When I got home yesterday? husband was totally calm and in a great mood, too. He was happy with himself for the first time since all this started happening.
Maybe we really are accepting the situation?
Barbara
It's so hard to see the real story when it's your own child ~ even if she is almost 40. (Which thought always makes my head spin a little. I know that feeling, now. That is denial. I don't want to look at how old difficult child is. I don't want to see that, because it will change how I feel about what I should or should not be doing, and for whom.)
We did put $60 (that would be two weeks worth) in difficult child's account. She called Wednesday morning (and left Facebook message) that she was "tired" of the man with whom she is voluntarily homeless. That she needed to get away from him. (For those who don't remember, difficult child has had accident after accident during the course of her involvement with this jobless, homeless, aging, alcoholic male.) So, I think "tired" means "something broken from a beating." Probably her nose, again. Or maybe, one or two of those beautiful, perfect teeth we spent so much money on for braces.
Here's the thing, though.
I don't feel the same horror I felt, when all this started happening.
If we did not respond (meaning, if there was no money), difficult child planned to hitchhike the 120 miles or so back to the city where she has been homeless. And where she has been running with the other homeless people she calls her "family" since she was evicted from her apartment (and evicted and blacklisted from two of the sleaziest rooming/boarding houses you ever saw) last Winter. As it turns out, difficult child paid the man's sister to drive her back with that money we put into her account. I am positive, and even suspected at the time, that difficult child knew she had this ride lined up all along.
So....
It bothers me so much that difficult child asked, at the same time she wanted that money deposited, whether we wanted to see her this weekend.
That she made sure we knew she would hitchhike, if there were no other way for her to "escape."
Plus? It will probably turn out that the man came with her.
Of course, we said yes we did want to see her this weekend.
And we have heard nothing, since.
When she needed money? She found a way to call.
This is the second or third time something similar has happened.
*****************
And on a brighter note. :O)
Thanks to the sterling Police Department in the city where difficult child was in the accident, we have found the key to the storage unit!
I had been making lots of phone calls re: that stupid key, as you all know. On one of them, I learned the name of the towing company. I called them. The man there was adamant that I could not so much as peek into that van without paying him $90 for the towing fee. Okay, so husband and I were trying to think what to do about that. The next day, I received two return calls from the Police Department. I explained that the situation was pretty much resolved, but thanked the policeman for returning my call.
And do you know what he did?
He asked whether I would like him to call the towing company! And then? He did just that. In fact, the policeman said that it was the strangest thing, but that the man at the towing company just happened to take a little stroll out to the van while he was on the phone with the police man.
And the keys to the van, probably with the storage unit key on the same key chain, are in the ignition.
And now, we get to go get the key.
:O)
I am going to fill in the "Compliment" form for this policeman. I wish I'd kept the names of each of the policemen with whom we have dealt through this whole thing with difficult child.
We forget how amazing and ethical the rest of the world is, when we are dealing with difficult child-related issues and people.
So...I registered to volunteer at a hospital near here, yesterday. I think I'm beginning to accept that difficult child is not going to come back, might never be okay, again. I want to change my life, get control of my thoughts and feelings, again.
Maybe? I will even try to go back to work. I'm 61, so who knows how that will turn out. But the volunteer position will get me going right away.
I've begun thinking, too, about the futility of everything we have gone through, this winter. All those times we couldn't even think straight.... Those few times when we could stop thinking about what had happened. When I think like that, I realize how dark and heavy this feeling of worry and shock is.
I can see the set backs, the good things that never happened, the good things that did happen but that we were too horrified about what had happened with difficult child to enjoy.
When I got home yesterday? husband was totally calm and in a great mood, too. He was happy with himself for the first time since all this started happening.
Maybe we really are accepting the situation?
Barbara
