difficult child came home from school - was NOT speaking to me. The bus was late, so I asked her about it....a couple of times before she answered - and then she let go. Began cursing and swearing at me. Demanded to know how long I was taking her instruments - and said she didn't care anyway cause she knew they were hidden in my room. I could just keep them there! So then I told her about the pawn shop - and that they were there for 90 days. The she started REALLY freaking out - called me names, screamed, yelled... And I tried really hard to remain calm. I told her that she will not speak to me that way. And I said my piece. I said that I am tired of all the "little white lies", all the half-truths and omissions and the bs stories. At that point, I heard a new story about how difficult child went to a girlfiend's house to catch the bus. And she didn't tell me because as she said " I choose not to speak to you. I'm sorry but that's YOUR fault." I said that she cannot blame me, nor apologize on behalf. If she chooses not to speak to me (and I gestured to her note) or if you choose to leave that is YOUR choice - but I am not putting up with that. And I am NOT putting up with blame and being told that *I* need to assume and *I* should know. You want me to know something - you tell me. I explained that she didn't tell anyone you were leaving. She was not there when I looked for her - and when I opened her door and she was gone, my heart just dropped. She began saying something about how that's not how other people feel. Really? I asked her. You don't know how it feels to find something missing? She explained that SHE knows that SHE feels bad when something is missing - but she doesn't believe that other people feel that way....especially not husband and I. I told her that is EXACTLY how we feel when something we love is missing. I told her that I understood that she probably wasn't thinking about how we felt when she took off. difficult child admitted that was true. I told her that rather than threatening me, or blaming me - she needs to start by apologizing to me! So she did. She apologized. I gave her a big hug. I told her "Thank you!". She was crying by that point, and so was I - but she pulled herself together and walked to her job. I'm still a little numb....but I think that may have been a breakthrough. Among other things, she admitted that she knows that I love her. HUGE!!!!!!