husband and I have had a slightly better than status quo couple of days. Til tonight. Wee and easy child built a fort in the living room. They used all the pillows in the house. We watched Tempil Grandin, then husband was ready to go to bed. He asked Wee to get his pillows and Wee ignored him. I told Wee to answer daddy and Wee told husband he was tired. husband yelled that he's tired of Wee not listening to him and he's sick of Wee's ****. He grabbed Wee by the upper arm and lifted him out of the chair onto the floor and started to drag him to the fort. I got in the middle and stopped him. He put Wee back in the chair by the arm. Wee curled up in a ball and started to cry. Then husband grabbed one of the kitchen chairs being used in the "fort" and dumped it over. He tossed a tool box being used for weight onto the couch, and threw the top of the "fort" off to get to his pillows. He got his pillows and went to the bedroom. I followed and I lost it. He said he was sick of Wee's not listening and Wee's **** (by the way I do have to tell Wee to do something more than once most times, but he rarely outright won't do what he's asked). I pointed out to him that he is a **** poor behavior model and I was sick of dealing with both of them. We are trying to teach Wee not to man-handle at school, yet its just fine for husband to do at home??? Then I pointed out an incident earlier in the evening...Wee was watching tv and husband was swinging a towel into his line of sight...WEe asked husband to stop and husband didn't. Yet if it had been Wee bugging husband and and husband said to stop, what would have happened if Wee didn't? So why does it work one way and not the other???? husband stomped off and said he got it. I said "really?" and he said no. I apologized for him being stuck with this less than perfect family and told him that I had always maintained he's welcome to leave it at any moment, and today is NO different. He said he wasn't leaving and got in bed and turned his back to me. I went back to the living room to a very sorry Wee. He had gotten the rest of the pillows out of the fort but was afraid to take them to daddy. He was crying and I didn't catch all he said but he said he tried to do his best and he was just bad. He finished cleaning up the whole fort while easy child played a video game. It breaks my heart and I want to strangle husband. He didn't use to do this ****. Sorry, I just needed to vent. I'm so angry right now.