I want to hide

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Oct 21, 2007.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    from both my kids. What a yucky day. easy child is acting like a difficult child-rude and disrespectful-I guess it is probably typical teen but certainly not the way I would have ever thought about speaking to my parents-grrr.

    Then there's difficult child. Honestly everything is my fault. If it wasn't so infuriating it would be funny. Today his brat bun was ripped-my fault, I poured him a glass with ice for his coke (he usually likes it that way), he's steamed because he wanted it out of the can-my fault, he bumped in to the recliner I was sitting in and yelled, "watch where you put the chair"-my fault-never mind I didn't move it. All of these were said in extremely angry voices. At one point as much as easy child and I were arguing she thanked me for making the brats because difficult child was giving me such a hard time. These are just a few I remember today-it's been constant. Oh yeah one thing wasn't my fault-husband was slow coming out of the car so he was "stupid". His tone has been rude, his language has been rude, and his reasoning illogical. On top of that every few minutes he wants my help or for me to play with him :crazy2:
     
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    First, you need to find a way to barricade yourself in the bathroom. Second, you'll need bubble bath, a scented candle and a good book. Take the rest of the evening off.
    Tell them I said so. :bath:
     
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, gawd, it sounds like my house this weekend!

    Yeah, like you REALLY want to play with-him, Sharon!

    difficult child threw a plate at me Fri night and shattered it all over, because I put the rice on the same plate as the burrito, so I know what you mean by the drink in the glass vs can, and bumping into the chair. I sent him to his rm. He was on Level 1 yesterday, but earned Level II because he was good and he did chores. Today, Level II was obviously too much for him ... we let him play at a friend's, then he went to Sylvan, and after he got home from Sylvan, I let him go back to the same friend's for dinner. Stupid me--I forgot to ask what they were having--pizza. Everything he's allergic to.
    When I picked him up, he begged to spend the night. I said no. He is now home, shredding things in his rm and slamming the door repeatedly.
    Both kids are home from school tomorrow. After difficult child finishes his Social Studies poster, I told husband I will drop off difficult child at the clinic. husband said no ... he's got a cold, and the other dr. is out of town for a funeral so it's going to be chaotic at the clinic. I told husband that he had agreed I could drop difficult child off at the clinic any time. He gave in but asked me to call first.
    Life is so much fun.

    Sorry, didn't mean to unload on you, Sharon, just that I DO understand.

    difficult child is on Level I for the next 2 wks. I think putting him on Level I for a day just doesn't work.

    What are you going to do with-your difficult child for being sassy about the drink?
     
  4. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    LOL tiredmommy :bravo: .....perfect...I say we ALL jump on THAT train!

    Sorry it's been such a rough day. My thoughts are with you (and everyone else) for a much better day tomorrow!!!!!!!
     
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Amazing isn't it Sharon? difficult child cannot for the life of him figure out why you may not want to play with or help him with something.

    easy child "should" know better - typical teen or not. While it may be a burden to have a sibling with problems like difficult children, it's life. She's of an age that just because her sibling has issues doesn't mean she gets to act out. Challenges will be a part of her life, all of her life. Doesn't mean she gets to be a twit about it.

    As for difficult child - don't you have a PRN medication for him? I'm not above using it on kt when she gets like this. I'll use it twice in one day with psychiatrist's permission.

    by the way, had you noticed that we have set up a party at Hooters in mrscatinthehat's thread. She's got the blahs. You got an out of control difficult child - same thing. It will be a "HOOT"! :rofl: I so amuse myself. :smile:

    Okay, I'm done.

    Hope tomorrow is a better day for difficult child & in turn, for you. :flower:
     
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Okay, what's a PRN medication? Sounds pretty useful ...
     
  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Terry,

    PRN medication is used "as needed". kt's PRN medication is used when she is highly anxious bordering on dissociative or when in full crisis mode.

    Our psychiatrist isn't one to prescribe PRNs often - I had to prove that I wasn't the sort of parent who would "drug" her child unnecessarily. I had to utilize each service available to me before he even suggested a PRN to have in home. And he suggested - I didn't ask. I didn't think any psychiatrist would prescribe a PRN for a child.

    It's helped us with kt at our worst of times.
     
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh, yeah. Be rude to me and see just how MUCH I wanna play with you. :rofl:

    You deserve some time off. Find a room, lock the door, put some good music on, earphones in your ears (so you can't hear them calling you ect), and curl up with a good book for a few hours.

    The moon is getting full. Travis has been driving me up the wall the past few days. :crazy2:
     
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks Ladies!

    TM-Your idea is a great one. I think the bubble bath sounds heavenly-maybe I can sneak it in tonight! I did get some reading in last night.

    Terry-I'm glad you shared-I don't feel you unloaded at all! As for being sassy about the drink-he is so unstable right now I didn't respond. Right now a lot of stuff has moved to basket "C".

    4sumrzn-Thanks for the wishes for the better day!

    Linda-We do have a PRN. We usually use it when he has been violent-I think yesterday might have been a day to use it though-he was so out of sorts. I'll have to join the Hooters visit over in wc-it might have to wait till after work tonight before I can "visit" over in the wc.

    Lisa-Sorry Travis is driving you crazy. It really would be great to escape to my room for a night!
     
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Dont you just hate it when they get downright rude to you?

    I had a hissy fit of my own last night because Cory couldnt answer me in any sort of a manner that showed he had any respect for my position as his mother.

    I walked out of my room to ask him for my cellphone. He and his girlfriend were sitting on the couch and she was changing the baby. He asked me to get a diaper...demanded is more like it, in a very rude voice. I didnt say anything but I did get the diaper and handed it to the girlfriend.

    Then I asked calmly where my phone was. He just shrugged his shoulders and continued to watch tv like I was not even there. Now he had been the last one using it and I knew good and well he had it. He didnt even attempt to answer me. The look on his face was awful. So I asked him again. Cory where is my cellphone. He again, shrugged and made some rude noises. I threw all the change in my pockets right in his face and screamed at him that when I address a question to him that he had better give me the decency of answering that question in a polite manner or he can find someplace to live that doesnt care if he is a rude SOB!
     
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    SO what did he do, Janet? Did you ever get your cell phone back?
     
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Sending you the invisibility cloak - something tells me Harry Potter won't need it anymore.

    You know....there is no law that states a frazzled mom can't get into her mini van, drive to the doughnut shop and get a cup of coffee and forget she's a mom while blasting Ozzy Osbourne on the radio.

    I know.....I really do. No one came to arrest me.....and I had some wicked pumpkin spice tasting morsel and a good cup of coffee.

    - When I came home (IT WAS A MIRACLE minus the star over the house) difficult child was bathed and in bed, DF was asleep and the only excitement to be had was my dog wanting a taste of what was left in the bag. To which I shared.

    Hang tough
     
  13. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    You know, Sharon, for me that's the most draining part. Being the target for our kids gets really old, really fast. THEN they want us to DO something for them. Yeah, right.

    As for the PRN, some days I think a hammer and duct tape will suffice. :hammer: KIDDING! KIDDING!

    Seriously, I have locked myself in the bathroom. Lately, I've been hiding in the garage. Except that now the spiders are moving in and I was stuck out there one night until easy child came looking for me. There was a spider the size of a volkswagon on the steps. Wasn't enough room for both of us. He won. easy child opened the door and I RAN into the house. easy child rolled his eyes. :rofl:
     
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Janet-I'm sorry Cory was such a PITA!

    LR-I love the idea of the invisibility cloak!!! And the idea of heading to the donut shop! Perkins has some mighty tasty pumpkin muffins right now!

    Heather-Rofl about the hammer and duct tape! A spider would win every time with me too!
     
  15. mom_in_training

    mom_in_training New Member

    Ummmmmm, Where is the Dimetapp when we parents need it.
     
  16. Indianamomof4

    Indianamomof4 New Member

    Does he know what is an acceptable way to speak to you? Does he know that it is not acceptable to be rude, angry, obnoxious and abusive? If so, then you need to not respond to him until he speaks to you in a non-abusive way.

    I've had to talk to my 10 yr old easy child about this. Granted, he doesn't have any big issues, but the rules don't change if he did. I don't respond to him when he speaks rudely or abusively to me. I tell him, "I will respond to you when you speak to me appropriately". If he continues, I will tell him, "You've just lost your priviledges for the evening. Go to your room and take a break. When you're ready to talk about it, come and find me and we'll talk about it." My sons lose everything (tv, games, computer) until we talk it through. I decide by the conversation if they get them back, or lose one or them all for a certain amount of time.

    When kids are freaked out for whatever reason, they don't think clearly and giving them the break to think it through and come to you helps them be accountable. I'm speaking from experience with James Lehman's program I'm using now and I can tell you it does work.

    When he does talk to you about it, make sure you reinforce that regardless of what was wrong at that time to cause him to be so mean and rude, the rule is that he is to not direspect you or abuse you. He needs to learn what to do instead if he's feeling upset because it's just not fair to you to take it all the darn time. I got fed up myself and it's a heck of a lot easier right now. :laugh:

    Just my advice, I know you weren't asking... :wink:
     
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Mom_in_Training-I'll have to find that Dimetapp sooner next time-lol.

    Indianamom-I do appreciate the advice. Never worry about giving advice! I need all I can get! He does know it isn't an appropriate way to speak and we are working with him on it. He is fairly unstable right now-has been violent recently and nothing we do right now really seems to matter. If we tell him we aren't speaking to him and to go to his room when he is stable it helps to a point-when he is like he is now-not so much. We have much the same conversation as you said over and over again about how when he is upset he needs to find a better way to express it. We give him options. His therapist gives him options. Sometimes I feel like I'm pounding my head against the wall.
     
  18. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Sharon,

    I'm so sorry you're having so much trouble with your difficult child!!! Believe me, I know how you feel when you say sometimes you "feel like you're pounding your head against the wall." I agree with you - when difficult child 1 is unstable, like now, it really doesn't matter what I say or do.

    I wish I had some good advice for you this morning. I'm managing to hang on by making sure that I keep up with my daily exercise. I'm also trying the best I can to take care of myself by eating as healthy as possible and trying to get enough sleep at night. I'm preparing simple meals for my family that don't take much time to put together. I've also let the housework go...

    Sending lots of cyber hugs and hoping today will be a better day for you... :flower: WFEN
     
  19. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    when it gets like that it is good to change the scenario and go outside and walk. if they follow make them keep a healthy distance.
     
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    You can still get benadryl. I have been known to use it with thank you when his Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) issues are just out of control and NOTHING else is working. I do mean nothing. Not brushing, weighted blankets, carrying heavy things, and every other tool we have to use with him. Some days ya just gotta do it.

    And I am NOT the mom who drugs her kids because she is tired of listening to them. Even though he mutters in a low voice 24/7 and then some!! Even his teacher has commented, LOL to her!! She is a pain herself. Very little understanding of kids with issues. They moved all the tough kids to other teachers.

    Susie
     
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