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General Parenting
I want to scream after neuro visit!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 506191" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Your child, under less than optimum conditions, copped an attitude with the doctor who, in my opinion, stepped way outside his bounds in doctoring to assert his own (conservative) views on parenting, without actually finding out how you DO parent at home. He then made assumptions he had no right to make, which of course affected his judgement when it came to assessing your son's medical condition.</p><p></p><p>Do not get stricter, you saw what happens. What he needs is consistency and positive motivation. That does not mean you have to be a doormat, but you can work towards improved behaviour through positive motivation just as effectively (if not more so) than through regular thrashings.</p><p></p><p>Take all the findings and your own report back to the psychiatrist who referred you. Maybe psychiatrist won't be so glowingly enthusiastic about this neuro in the future.</p><p></p><p>Medicine is an inexact science, mental health triply so. I've been ill with a neurological/immunological condition for 28 years (currently doing vastly better - not sure why but doctors have some ideas) and I still do not have one diagnosis that all doctors agree on. Over the years, especially in the earlier days, I was treated as if I was a malingerer, mostly by neuros. And yet my current specialist, a neuro, is marvellous about treatment and working on the physical deficits I now have after so many years. </p><p></p><p>This level of medical acceptance has taken time and continuity of care. I've had to put up with a lot of crud along the way.</p><p></p><p>The problem is, when it's us we can put up with a lot more than we can when it's our kids. With kids, we have a narrow window of opportunity in which we can help them reach their potential. Anything getting in the way of that, we find our frustration levels rising rapidly, as well as our panic that we will not be able to get past our hurdles in time to help our child.</p><p></p><p>So - go back to the psychiatrist. Share your experience. And see where it takes you from there.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 506191, member: 1991"] Your child, under less than optimum conditions, copped an attitude with the doctor who, in my opinion, stepped way outside his bounds in doctoring to assert his own (conservative) views on parenting, without actually finding out how you DO parent at home. He then made assumptions he had no right to make, which of course affected his judgement when it came to assessing your son's medical condition. Do not get stricter, you saw what happens. What he needs is consistency and positive motivation. That does not mean you have to be a doormat, but you can work towards improved behaviour through positive motivation just as effectively (if not more so) than through regular thrashings. Take all the findings and your own report back to the psychiatrist who referred you. Maybe psychiatrist won't be so glowingly enthusiastic about this neuro in the future. Medicine is an inexact science, mental health triply so. I've been ill with a neurological/immunological condition for 28 years (currently doing vastly better - not sure why but doctors have some ideas) and I still do not have one diagnosis that all doctors agree on. Over the years, especially in the earlier days, I was treated as if I was a malingerer, mostly by neuros. And yet my current specialist, a neuro, is marvellous about treatment and working on the physical deficits I now have after so many years. This level of medical acceptance has taken time and continuity of care. I've had to put up with a lot of crud along the way. The problem is, when it's us we can put up with a lot more than we can when it's our kids. With kids, we have a narrow window of opportunity in which we can help them reach their potential. Anything getting in the way of that, we find our frustration levels rising rapidly, as well as our panic that we will not be able to get past our hurdles in time to help our child. So - go back to the psychiatrist. Share your experience. And see where it takes you from there. Marg [/QUOTE]
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