I want to take him out of school

buddy

New Member
Some of the best medication explanations and advice I ever found were in The Bipolar Child by Papalous - and my child is not bipolar.

Thanks, I will check that out too!

Why not go talk to the sp ed teachers at the schools in your area?

Great idea. That is actually how I decided to sell house and move to new district. Old one was just not a good fit for kids like mine. This district, while none is perfect especially when behaviors are involved, is thousands of times better. I talked to sp. ed. coordinators that came to the charter school for IEP meetings where I was working. It was clear that in this district if we as a team felt the child needed something, the philosophy was if it is a team decision then it will happen. We never had to fight for things for our students in this district, they were always accomodated...even activity busses (and it might have been for ONE kid who was far away from the home district).... Every city, district and state is different, so maybe worth a look around.
 

Chaosuncontained

New Member
First of all, I just started the IEP process at my son's school. Carson in 9 and in 4th grade. He is VERY smart. Based on his behaviors alone I was basically told (by one of the County evaluators) that he would most likely be qualified.

I was lucky. I went into Carson's school on a day that one of the Diagnosticians was at the school. She immeadiatley took all my info down and filled out forms on line in the school counselors office that day.

What I would do (if I was you) would be to send a certified letter to the school (keep copies of EVERYTHING). They have 90 days after you resuest to have all testing done to be through with testing and then another 30 days to make the test results known in a meeting--and you should get them a day or two before the meeting to go over the results yourself and have questions ready). In Texas, the school has to pay for all testing. Carson's testing includes IQ and Achievement by a Diagnostician. All other testing will be done by a Psycologist. He will be observed in class a few days and take additional testing for learning disorders and a whole slew of tests.

Even if, after all their tests they determine Carson does NOT qualify for IEP I can request for a different set of doctors to test him. PLUS, I will have all that info (test results) to take to another doctor, Psychaitrist, Psycologist, Therapist...who ever I take him to.

If your son isn't in a Private school they can NOT kick him out. I agree that suspending our kids is a BAD idea. CArson figured out last year that all he had to do was act up at school and they would either send him home or send him to OCS and he could sit there and stare out into space with no consequences (other than getting behind in school work and he couldn't have cared less if that hapenned).

But if he was told that he would have to call his parents and tell them about the trouble OR do his work in the Principals office...EEkkkk, he could settle down enough to get through the day (barely).

I haven't read all the responses you have gotten, but these are VERY educated women--I have learned SO much in the short amount of time I have been here. Best wishes to you...
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I have been around a long long time and this sounds like one of the worst schools we have heard about on the board...the other is Shari's. There is no way that a Kindergartner with your son's diagnosis shouldnt be awarded an IEP and for the school to attempt to manipulate you into not applying for one is outrageous. I cant believe a kindergartner being suspended 2 times in six weeks and they dont see a problem! Maybe they think its their fault? Must be if they want to send him home because they cant control him there.

I absolutely hate out of school suspensions because all it teaches the kid is to want to act up to go home and get out of school. Grrr. My kid learned this trick. They taught him well like Pavlov's dog.

Do get the letters mentioned above sent certified. It will start the clock and they will have to treat him as a child who is under IEP standards. Any suspensions will count towards the ten day rule which would mean it would cause a meeting for a look at a change in placement.

Please check out our Special Education forum for more help.
 

flutterby

Fly away!
Buddy, when we refer to SD we typically are referring to the administration (at least I am). We've all run into a few bad teachers, but it's the administration that is the problem when it comes to IEP's and following the law.
 

Zardo

Member
As everyone has said - he can qualify for an IEP. To get that, you can request psychoeducational testing but you must formally put that reqeust in writing. Once you do, they must do it in a set period of time. In my state, it's 45 days. Having said that, I would highly reccomend you immediately hire an educational consultant to help you navigate the system and get along-term partner for your child's education. It sounds like you may have some bumps along the way and you will be immediately relieved with the experience of an educational consultant. Find one that has "seen your child before" and worked to find solutions. It's more important that they have worked with a challenging kid rather than knowing your district, although that would be helpful too. Once you hire one, they can come to meetings at the school with you and you will be very suprised at how well the school will listen and want to work with you. Mine charged a very reasonable fee and came to all PPTs. It only took about 4 weeks from the day I hired her to get the testing done and an IEP in place. In fact, after our first conversation, she sent me an e-mail to forward to the school with 5 action items to immediately relieve what was going on. The school implemented all of them that week. I had begged for help prior to that and was told repeatedly "he's too bright, he won't qualify for any assitance". When I forwarded that e-mail, the pressure was immediately taken off my son and he was "worked with". The next thing I would suggest is don't worry so much about them not wanting your son at that school. As painful as it can be, it sounds like the school may not be the right place for him right now anyway. Maybe once supports are in place, it can be. But, if not, the school district will have other options, schools that they work with that kids attend for a period of time to teach them coping skills and behaviors so that when they go back to school, they have the skills to be successful. The staff at these school treat them and you with empathy and expectations to improve. It sounds like he may need that, only for a while. The point is that once you find an Easy Child, he/she will help you and the school get to the bottom of the issues your son is having and they will have very useful advice for what to do about it. It may be at that school, or it may be somewhere where there are wonderful, caring people that work with kids that need a little help. You will feel immediate relief from the first moment after you hang up the phone with the Easy Child once you find the right one. Good luck - there is help out there and there are people that know what to do- go find them.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Oh, I am sorry, Buddy. I TOTALLY do not mean the teachers and specialists. You don't take those jobs unless you want to ehlp. But sometimes they get strong pressure from the administration to NOT mention things in reports and to NOT identify things because the admin says it doesn't impact education so it isn't appropriate. I know a LOT of teachers, etc.... who work in schools. My dad taught public school for almost 40 yrs before he retired and I spent a LOT of time at his schools, listening to his friends, etc..... I also have many other friends who work in schools and almost all of them have been upset over being pushed to limit evaluations or reports to keep info out of them. They are not in one or two school districts, but in quite a few, large and small, in several states. I also have seen a LOT of parents here get evaluations that don't address problems that are real because someone claims they don't have any impact on the child's education.

THAT is what I am talking about. I did NOT mean to imply that those who are on the front lines workign with kids didn't want to help, although I have met some like that. But every job has some who are better at the job than others, so that is pretty normal, in my opinion.

I am sorry.

by the way, the time limit to do the testing is NOT set by the states. It is part of the federal IDEA law. Many schools try to say it is days that they are in school to stretch it out, but any halfway competent attorney would shred them if it went to court. Our local district got in some MAJOR trouble because the middle school sp ed teacher tried that and many other illegal things.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Oh, If you contact the state board of education you can get info on advocates who will work with you to get what your son needs. Usually they are called parent advocates. Often if you use those terms instead of educational consultant you will get more results. At least we did and my friends did. Also, educational consultants often recommend residential treatment centers and can charge thousands of dollars. An advocate is usually paid by the state to help find the accommodations at the local district level and ensure that your district is following the laws. I haven't before heard of an educational consultant who woudl do this, though my experience is limited at best in thsi field. I used friends who worked in other districts and the staff of the dr's offices (psychiatrist, therapist developmental pediatrician) and my own knowledge of the law plus what I got on this forum from the archives and sp ed 101 section, so I didn't use an advocate.

It may be jsut a different term for the same thing in another state. That isn't uncommon at all.
 

hersheyb79

New Member
There is a lot of information! Thank you so much for the help. I have some more questions, I'll preface them by saying his P-DR is HORRIBLE. He has not done any testing, he hasn't mentioned doing any other tests at all and the same office is where he was seeing a therapist who "fired" my son for not wanting to change (call me when your kid actually wants to change is what he said to me). I have looked into Children's Hospital, but they said they only way to get him help is to bring him in though the ER and have him held on a psychiatric hold. He is on the wait list for an out patient psychiatric evaluation , but it's a year wait they said.

1) We haven't had much testing done outside of the school. He had some early childhood evaluations, but he always tests very well one on one. In preschool the director said it didn't matter that the evaluation came back that he didn't need more help because it was obvious he did and she approved the 1 on 1 aid. His P-DR says he doesn't have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I personally don't believe him. If you spent any time with him you'd understand why. How can I get him tested for these different thing? Will the school do it or do we have to? I'm very worried about the cost of the tests...but I'll eat ramen for a year to get him help.

2) Who am I sending the letter to? Is it the principal or the school district.

3) The therapist who kicked my son out of therapy was the case manager on our case with community mental health...so how do I get a copy of the diagnosis? The P-DR says I have to get it from him. I can't get his office to call me back. The school knows about the diagnosis, but I have no proof of it.

4) I had heard that once you pull your kid out of public school and home school or private school the district is no longer under the obligation to provide the FAPE any longer. Is that not true? I don't want to pull him and then have to put him back in for some reason and have them deny him the right to a FAPE.

5) Is there some magic term I can use when calling private providers that will get him in sooner than 2 years from now? Basically every time I call a new P-DR I am told that unless I want to bring him into an ER and have him admitted we have to wait for the next available apt.

I looked into some specialized schools for kids with behavior and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) issues...but they said that based on his diagnosis the school wouldn't be a good fit for him (either he is too much for some of the schools, or he doesn't have an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) diagnosis so he doesn't qualify).

For those who are critical of the school. It is hard for us because our daughter is thriving there, the class sizes are reasonable, the teachers are nice, she has GTE. Not every school is a fit for every child. I have a feeling that the school isn't used to dealing with cases as sever as my son. Not to say that it is OK how they are treating him, but it's a hard situation to be in.

Someone asked what kinds of behaviors so here they are:
1) Defiant of authority
2) Tactiley defensive (can't stand being bumped, jostled, touched, or other wise bothered by others)
3) Perfectionist (loses control when he can't do something just how he believes it should be done)
4) Rigid adherence to all rules and regulations (lost control because another kid moved something off the classroom board that he wasn't supposed to move).
5) Explosive anger when things aren't how he expects/wants them to be
6) Extreme difficulty with change in schedule & transitions
7) Can't look people in the eye when talking to them
8) Intense desire to be "normal" (often talks about not wanting to be different, doesn't like when people comment on anything new or different, like a shirt or haircut).

Every day with him feels like a slot machine, you pull the handle and it will come up all 7s and he will have a great day, but more often than not no jackpot. I dread the hours between 8-11am because I feel like I am tied to the house waiting for the school to call and have me come get him.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
How can I get him tested for these different thing? Will the school do it or do we have to?
You won't get the level of testing you need - not even remotely close - through school.
He definitely needs a comprehensive evaluation.

Who else do you have on his medical team... pediatrician? family doctor? anything else?
I'm looking for someone who can do the referral, and back the need for it...
Because sometimes, what you get depends on how the referral is worded.
Most of the options for evaluations have a wait list - and no, 6 to 12 months is not unusual.
BUT... some of them have a short-call list... If you can come in on less than 24 hrs notice, they might allow you to fill a cancellation. One I know about, will call THIS MORNING for an appointment TODAY. If you can swing that kind of short notice, then DO ask about the short-call list.
 

Chaosuncontained

New Member
Every day with him feels like a slot machine, you pull the handle and it will come up all 7s and he will have a great day, but more often than not no jackpot. I dread the hours between 8-11am because I feel like I am tied to the house waiting for the school to call and have me come get him.

((hugs)) and when I read this part of your post I burst into tears. I so get this. Best wishes.
 

buddy

New Member
Oh, I am sorry, Buddy. I TOTALLY do not mean the teachers

gosh, no need to be sorry, I wasn't upset at all....Heck there are some nasties out there. I was just trying to take the perspective of someone new to the system and didn't want them to be too scared off, (which I dont think anyone was trying to do--I knew what you meant for sure). Only trying to share my thoughts on it, that's all.
 

Ktllc

New Member
If you can pay out of pocket, your list of provider will be that much greater! That's what we ended up doing for the one evaluation that ruled out Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). This was evaluation was $400, but well worth it. Than she suggested an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation and we got some answers then (still waiting for report). Altogether we had: speech evaluation, school evaluation, psychiatric evaluation directed toward Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation. We also had his eyes and ears checked. It was done in bit and pieces but we finally got a HELPFUL diagnosis. Oh yeah, we started with a consultation from a developmental and behavioral pediatrician who diagnosis ODD and Disruptive behavior not otherwise specified. He wanted to put him o medications right away.
5 evaluation later, he has sensory processing disorder (SPD).
Moral: put yourself on waiting list, pay out of pocket when you can and don't stick with "professional" that don't help.
It is a long journey to get help. Find a health professional that you trust and ask for help. That is a good starting point.
If you believe Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) might be a diagnosis, read about it and try to use some Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) suggested strategies.
Since your son knows he's different, maybe agknowleage it. Talk with him about it, explain that there are people that can help. That it is difficult to find those good people but you are working real hard so he can meet them.
Stay strong and keep digging.
 

buddy

New Member
fired" my son for not wanting to change (call me when your kid actually wants to change is what he said to me).
I just threw up a little.

...checked into Children's Hospital, but they said they only way to get him help is to bring him in though the ER and have him held on a psychiatric hold. He is on the wait list for an out patient psychiatric evaluation , but it's a year wait they said.

is this for a psychiatric evaluation? Are there any Child Development Centers near you that specialize in Autism/Childhood Mental Health/Special Education? We have a few around here and parents often will get the "medical" diagnosis there (as opposed to he school category, schools can't diagnose anything they can only use an educational label for programming). I did have my son evaluated at one center where I actually worked, as well as having him evaluated at the U of MN neuropsychologist department. Insurance paid for all of the evaluations and also once diagnosed with Autism he attended a half day program at the Child dev. center and half day K after in the public schools. I have done all of his further evaluations at specialty hospitals for children. (OF course he has school evaluations too but they include the private reports that I give them so they dont have to re-do things. His last school report was 63 pages long! )

The type of evaluation that helps figure out their behavior issues, learning style etc...is a neuropsychology evaluation. These are PhD types not MD's. I have heard it put beautifully by others here so I will let them explain in case that is not what you are meaning here...

so sorry you are getting the run around. I am sure you are anxious to get him help asap and it seems you are having to go through so many extra hoops. I hear you about a school being a good fit for one kid and not another. It is true.
 

keista

New Member
Does he ever get violent at home? Hit, throw things? Just call 911 the next time he does and get him admitted through the ER. Clearly not the best way to do this, but if it gets you evaluations faster and saves your sanity, you might have to go this route.

Your list of behaviors certainly sounds like Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Doesn't mean it is, but certainly worth a good look. My schools have screening/diagnostic tools for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). As a matter of fact, the only evaluations for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) that son has had have been through the school. It won't be as intense as what you can get privately, but may be enough for a preliminary diagnosis (a Dr would have to make it official) and an IEP.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Oh, sweetie, I so totally know how you feel. Wiz wasn't as rigid to rules, mostly because he knew the rules as written but saw that they were NOT enforced that way. Like most aspies and people with autistic spectrum disorders, he figured out rules that made sense to him, then was upset when the world didn't follow them. Many were based on extremely biased teachers doing things that were just plain wrong and prejudiced.

in my opinion you are right that the psychiatrist is awful. We met a few. Has your child's pediatrician or family care doctor done a referral to Children's? If nothing else, call them every week or so. We got in because I cried. Not on purpose, but the scheduler person was about the tenth I had talked to, Wiz had just almost sent Jessie back to the hospital by kicking her in the area where she had just had surgery (for something unrelated) and I couldn't help it. Tell them about the violence. Let them know how upset you are. Get the pediatrician to do a referral to them, and push him to make them think it is urgent. It may move you up on the waiting list.

If nothing else, why not take him tot he ER and get a psychiatric hold next time he rages? It will show him that there are big consequences for raging, and let the docs know how serious it is. You will get the evaluation faster than any other way, plus they will spend more time with him and likely do more tests. Remember that you get flies with honey, and be friendly to the nurses and scheduling people at every doctor's office. Make them your allies.

You can call a private occupational therapist, and get your pediatrician to do a referral. in my opinion that is going to be a HUGE HUGE HUGE help. The tactile defensiveness and many other things are sensory issues. Read The Out of Sync Child by Kranowitz, also The Out of Sync Child Has Fun, same author. get the private Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation because it will show how the issues impact his entire life. Schools DO have Occupational Therapist (OT)'s, but a private Occupational Therapist (OT) has a lot more time. There are a LOT of ways to help sensory issues. I know, I have them myself and all of my kids do. My youngest has a diagnosis of sensory integration disorder, aka sensory processing disorder. IT looked a LOT like aspergers, and I think if we had known about it when Wiz was 2 or 3 we might have circumvented a LOT of problems with the brushing therapy and the right sensory diet. We didn't, but he is doing very well now (there really is hope - if I thought 6 yrs ago that the best I could hope for was to keep us all alive and relatively unmaimed and Wiz out of prison, and now Wiz is in his sophomore year of college with a 4.0 and a lot of really great friends, well, there is hope for ANYONE.)

Tactile defensiveness is usually NOT understood at school. I would tackle that asap with the school, insisting that your son be at the end of the line or not in positions to be brushed against if at all possible, that teachers NOT touch him if they can avoid it, etc... It is hard for teachers, because they like to give gently pats on the head or shoulder, hugs, etc.... But for your son, this is incredibly upsetting and honestly, a light pat that he doesn't expect may be as hard for him to handle as if they punched him. Not an exaggeration - his body perceives them similarly. Or that is how Wiz explained it to me a year or two ago. With family he knew what to expect, and if he didn't watn to be touched it wasn't a problem at home. but at school, other kids think it is funny to watch them react, and teachers normally give reassuring pats to kids with-o thinking of it. Another member here, who has fairly extreme tactile defensiveness first explained it. She isn't here much, but was invaluable at helping me figure out what was going on with some of this stuff. Now that Wiz is older, and has developed coping skills and uses them, he has also helped me understand. I still don't pat him or hug him with-o asking. in my opinion it is pretty much the same as hitting him because that is how it feels TO HIM.

What helped me with my kids, and what many people forget, is what is important in communication. When we talk, and touch, we are communicating. When tryign to communicate something, the most important part of the process is what the audience perceives. NOT what you mean to say, but what they grasp from what you say and do. I learned it in a college class, and it sort of stuck in my mind at times with Wiz. The big problem we had, and what your son is going through, is that he is getting VERY different messages than what the teachers, students, parents, etc.... are meaning to send. You have to figure out his language, and use that. If he only spoke russian, nothing you said in english would make sense. That is what is going on with the tactile defensiveness. Others mean to give comfort or reassurance and he perceives a threat or being hurt. Maybe explaining it that way would help at school. Id didn't when Wiz was in grades 1-2, but most of that was because of adult issues that shoudl NEVER have entered the classroom, NOT because of what he did or said. After that? it took me 2 years of weekly therapy, homeschooling (the first year we spent in appointments - almost NO real bookwork, but we were lucky and he was already very advanced academically - mostly because he was curious and a bookworm.)

Take a list of thngs you want, Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation, neuropsychologist evaluation (usually they work with the neurology dept at hospitals, check at childrens. They might be with the psychiatry or psychology dept, but I have always found them with neurologists). Also get him evaluated for seizures. There are a TON of different types of seizures, and the behaviors they cause do NOT have to be the type of seizures you think of. Years ago they did a sleep deprived EEG before they put anyone with adhd on medication. Now? you have to push. It is worth it. Teachers were positive that my Jess had inattentive adhd. So was my mom. I insisted on the EEg before I would put her on medications. Got called to the neurologist's office for results - which usually means they found something, at least here. She has absence epilepsy. Her brain sort of turns off, but she looks fine. Usually to most people she looks like she is paying attention - but she was having so many seizures that she was missing about HALF of the time. Now she has more issues, and we are pursuing other neuro issues. But then? that was it. She now calls it "short days" - the days go by really fast and often something is going on and she has NO idea how it started. Medications, when they are working, stop the "missing tme" that she perceives and her life is much fuller. Seizures can cause almost ANY behavior, depending on what part of the brain they happen in. Heck, I once had a boss who's heart would race. Started in his 50's. He learned it was NOT a heart problem, or caused by the normal nerve issues that cause it. It was caused by seizures and stopped with seizure medications and not cardiac medications.

I think I mentioned a Parent Report in an earlier post on this thread. If I didn't, follow the link n my signature - it will explain it and help you create one. in my opinion it is the MOST powerful tool to have to help your child. If you start NOW, before you have the evaluations done, you will just add them in and revise as needed.

Send a letter askign for an IEP evaluation to the school.
Call the pediatrician for referrals to all the types of docs/therapists that we have mentioned.
GEt on waiting lists for the children's hospital.
Prepare yourself to take difficult child to the hospital at his next rage (if he is too violent to drive with him safely, call 911 for transport of a mentally ill child to the hospital. Safety has to be top priority.) (by the way, many of our kids do very well in the hospital, likely because the routine. It is hard on US esp, but will be worth it if it gets the help he needs.)

Start a Parent Report. Keep checking with the doctor about the referrals.

Read read read. Get all the books we mentioned, try the library first, also check used book sites like www.abebooks.net and amazon (when you pull up a title it will say from X price new, Y price used. click on those links and you can get them fairly cheaply, often for far less than the regular price, even after shipping)
 
T

TeDo

Guest
My son was actually diagnosed by a psychologist that has her Ph.D. Is there one of those in your area? Do you HAVE to go to community mental health? The other thing you could maybe add to your "Request" to the school is to have him evaluated by an Autism Specialist. If they don't have access to one, that's find but if they do, why not get that too? We have one that consults with the area schools that parents generally don't know about because the schools have to pay her exhorbitant fees but since I requested it and they had one on contract, they couldn't refuse the assessment. It might be worth checking in to. From your description and comments, I think you might be on the right track with the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). We can't diagnose but it sounds like you pretty much already "know" what it is.

I, personally would send the request to the principal AND the superintendent. That covers your bases and they can't both "not receive it", Know what I mean??

Put your request for "all evaluative reports and casenotes" from the old therapist in writing also. Just to make sure it isn't ignored, I would also send that Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested. In the letter, specify a date 1 week from the day you think they should receive it for them to have it ready for you to pick up. As the parent, you have a right to ANYTHING that is in his file until he turns 18 (I think that's the age for that too but not sure).

Not sure about the FAPE thing. Here, if you pull a kid out that HAS an IEP, they still have to provide the specialized services. I'm not sure how it works in your situation and in your area so I will defer that to others with experience or knowledge.

Ask the specialized schools you talked to where you can take your son to be evaluated. That is sometimes the best way to get to the right professional and telling that professional that such and such school referred you to them might get you in the door sooner. It's worth a shot. You could also ask them if there is an autism specialist that could do an educational evaluation on your son.

I am so glad you are sticking with this and that we haven't "scared" you away. You havae definitely come to the right place. If you let us, we can get you to where you need to be. If it wasn't for these "wise warrior parents" here, my difficult child and I would still be barely treading water instead of getting to where we wanted to be) for the most part anyways.
 

flutterby

Fly away!
I would send the letter to the principal, SpEd Director (can probably find that person via the school website), and the Superintendent.

Do you have a teaching/university hospital nearby? That's another good place to look for mental health professionals. Your list does sound like Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).
 

flutterby

Fly away!
Also, when the school starts the evaluation for the IEP, you'll have to sign a bunch of forms. They will probably ask you for permission to contact the psychiatrist. Whether you allow that is up to you. You don't have to let them. However, it may be one way to get the psychiatrist to send the diagnosis. You can write on the form that it is specifically and only for x,y, z.

ETA: My SD was great for my NT son, as well. But my SD is known for not being good with SpEd and doing what they are required to do by law. I fought for 4 years to get an IEP, and it's been another 5 years of fighting to get them to actually follow the damn thing.
 

hersheyb79

New Member
If nothing else, why not take him tot he ER and get a psychiatric hold next time he rages? It will show him that there are big consequences for raging, and let the docs know how serious it is. You will get the evaluation faster than any other way, plus they will spend more time with him and likely do more tests. Remember that you get flies with honey, and be friendly to the nurses and scheduling people at every doctor's office. Make them your allies.

I'll tell you...it's kind of a weird story why not, so bear with me. I have a friend who had 2 bipolar kids, she also just got her degree as a psychologist and is working on her masters. She dragged me with her to this class a week after school started about explosive kids. I am not oblivious to the fact that parents were not the intended audience of this training...but I decided to go, I figured if I could glean anything from it, the training wouldn't be a waste.

Well, they basically talked about how 99% of these types of kids are abused or neglected, exposed to drugs in-utero, raised by bad parents, adopted by people who don't care about them, etc. Now, my son is not adopted, but our baby is, and we are foster parents. We do not take any kids over 1yo, specifically at my son's request. We had to disrupt a very long term placement because of DS's behavior, and it broke our hearts. It was what was best for our foster son, and so that's why we did it. Since that time, we've taken babies, and he is fine with them.

Any way, sitting there, I felt like...wow, is this how professionals see me? As an abusive parent who has caused these problems. Do they assume I do drugs or beat him? WTH?!?!? So now when I consider taking him to the ER it runs though my mind. Being a foster parent, it scares me that I might be perceived as abusing my child. I have seen DHS from an unflattering angle and I'm not sure I want to be on the other side of things.

So I know that is REALLY paranoid. But that is what has prevented me from taking him in. FWIW, my friend who took me to the training did speak with the trainer. Her kids deal with a lot of the same thing my son does...so she was pretty ****** off too.

So now I need someone to answer this question...

When DS was 2 he was diagnosis'd with sensory processing disorder (SPD) and received Occupational Therapist (OT) though ECI. When he turned 3 he was re-evaluated, he had to test at 7% of normal to re-qualify, he tested at 11% :( Again, alone in a room with 4 adults, all praising him and being very quiet...he of course tested very well.

Anyway, I assumed that when he no longer qualified for services that the diagnosis went away. Is that not the case (does the diagnosis still count)? He is treated at school for sensory issues...he gets a weighted blanket, headphones to put on to block noise, time out of the class to jump on a trampoline. Now, one of his huge problems is that he wants to be normal, so he very much resists anything that the entire class is not doing.

I have not asked DS's PCD for a referral. We have a PPO, so the doctor resists doing referrals, he prefers to have us pick someone we've checked out...or give us names so we can look into them (I know he sounds bad, but he's the best doctor in the world. He really listens and cares, and never speaks to me like I'm stupid!). He will in cases where he feels it is very urgent, so he will probably do it for me. He did make a referral for the baby when she needed to see the neurologist ASAP. I just hadn't thought to ask to be honest, we never see him for DS, because DS physically is not ever sick.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Anyway, I assumed that when he no longer qualified for services that the diagnosis went away. Is that not the case (does the diagnosis still count)? He is treated at school for sensory issues...he gets a weighted blanket, headphones to put on to block noise, time out of the class to jump on a trampoline. Now, one of his huge problems is that he wants to be normal, so he very much resists anything that the entire class is not doing.

No longer qualifying for services does NOT invalidate the diagnosis. It just means that the most recent round of testing as done by the school does not support services. BIG difference. PLUS... he's still getting accommodations for it...

The whole "wanting to be normal" thing? NORMAL. (pardon the pun, but it's true!)
The best teachers and the best schools can often find ways of adapting the class so that everyone benefits... but specifically certain special needs can be met in non-obvious ways.

Here's an example that doesn't apply to your son (as far as we know at this point...)
If the teacher uses a soundfield mic, EVERY student in the class gets the message "loud and clear" from the teacher... including those with auditory issues (anything from hearing impairment to problems filtering background noise). But, NO student is singled out... nobody knows who gets the biggest benefit.

Another example:
Teacher can hand out outline at start of every class... to EVERY student. Write on the board while giving verbal instructions, and other related accommodations. These things benefit ADHD students, those with auditory issues, those with working memory challenges, those with motor skills challenges (anything from Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) to quad!) who can't keep up with the speed required for note-taking, and so on... Again... nobody knows WHO this is being done for... its being done for ALL of the students, and even the PCs in the class do well with this system.

To whatever extent possible, if you can get these kinds of accommodations, they DO work well. (but it takes an above-average teacher to deliver on these!)
 
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