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I Want You Out of My Life
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 598337" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>WTWE, I agree with the others that you should honour your difficult child's wish. Break contact for a while. Don't call or text him, and don't return his calls if he tries to get in touch with you. Leave him be.</p><p></p><p>I think this falls into the category of natural consequences. His consequence for his statement is that he doesn't get to have you in his life. This does two things. It gives him the opportunity to stand or fall on his own (sometimes the only way that difficult children can learn anything), and also to really understand what life without you means.</p><p></p><p>As parents, we love our children with such depth and breadth that it's very easy to let our emotional well-being rest on theirs. But that's too much power for a child to have over a parent, and it's an awful load to carry -- my mother's happiness depends on me. I can make her happy or I can make her sad. That's a lot of power, a lot of responsibility, and the average 17-yr-old easy child or difficult child does not have the maturity to wield that sort of power responsibly.</p><p></p><p>Back away, focus on you, your husband and your easy child, and let difficult child fend for himself for a while.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 598337, member: 3907"] WTWE, I agree with the others that you should honour your difficult child's wish. Break contact for a while. Don't call or text him, and don't return his calls if he tries to get in touch with you. Leave him be. I think this falls into the category of natural consequences. His consequence for his statement is that he doesn't get to have you in his life. This does two things. It gives him the opportunity to stand or fall on his own (sometimes the only way that difficult children can learn anything), and also to really understand what life without you means. As parents, we love our children with such depth and breadth that it's very easy to let our emotional well-being rest on theirs. But that's too much power for a child to have over a parent, and it's an awful load to carry -- my mother's happiness depends on me. I can make her happy or I can make her sad. That's a lot of power, a lot of responsibility, and the average 17-yr-old easy child or difficult child does not have the maturity to wield that sort of power responsibly. Back away, focus on you, your husband and your easy child, and let difficult child fend for himself for a while. [/QUOTE]
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