Teenage girls (easy child or difficult child) really know how to cut deep with their words. easy child/difficult child has been in one of her difficult child moods for several days now. We left her alone this past weekend because she has always been really good about being home before. Now that won't happen for awhile. She had a few friends over and lied about it. We found out because she had 3 chairs on the deck in a semicircle that weren't that way when we left.
She said there were only a 3 kids and nothing other then the kids (not easy child/difficult child) were smoking on the deck. She does have a lot of friends who smoke but I really believe she doesn't because I think it would be too hard to hide it and she never smells of smoke.
We were really hurt by the fact that she lied, not so much by the fact she had friends over. She just doesn't get the whole trust thing so we won't be leaving her home alone for awhile. Of course, she doesn't understand that. REALLY?
Since then things have really been building up with her. She was supposed to have cleaned while we were gone and did but minimally, not at all like she asked. She also isn't doing all of her hw again and was angry when we talked with her about it last night. Not so much that husband did but that I joined in because she knows how to just be passive aggressive with him and not say anything but she wasn't happy that we added in consequences so, of course, I was the bad one.
This all leads up to tonight when she was suppose to be cleaning the basement. She did vacuum and dust and set up the air mattress. However, we had asked her to do more (mind you she also took an hour and a half break to watch some cartoon movie). I finally said I would do the rest. She accused me of wanting it to neat and that it didn't really matter. She said other people's house are not always super clean when we go to them (believe me ours is far from perfect). She was screaming at me and demanding to know why I wanted certain things put away when it was mainly just the little kids that would be playing down there. I told her and she continued to hammer away so I just finally that it was the way Dad and I want it and so we didn't really need to explain it.
She accused me of being fake and always acting like we have the perfect family. I told her nothing could be further from the truth and that if she believed that she really didn't know me. She screamed good because she didn't want to know me. That after saying some really mean things yesterday as well.
I'm trying to build up my rhino skin but I tell you she really knows how to cut into it and drain the fun out of everything. I've so been looking forward to Thanksgiving and everyone coming (we have 14 guests coming so there will be 18 of us in all. I love when husband's family is here; we have a lot of fun, hang out, watch movies, play games and all of the little great nieces and nephews are a hoot.
I keep telling myself I am not going to let her ruin this day for husband and me! Still, I wish it didn't hurt so much. difficult child or not, she is on my every last nerve right now. Sometimes she makes me want to say things but I won't because I'm the adult and don't want to hurt her (of course, I do by just being me according to her) but, oh, the temptation is there!
Thanks for listening, need to vent before I said something to her I would regret later!!
She said there were only a 3 kids and nothing other then the kids (not easy child/difficult child) were smoking on the deck. She does have a lot of friends who smoke but I really believe she doesn't because I think it would be too hard to hide it and she never smells of smoke.
We were really hurt by the fact that she lied, not so much by the fact she had friends over. She just doesn't get the whole trust thing so we won't be leaving her home alone for awhile. Of course, she doesn't understand that. REALLY?
Since then things have really been building up with her. She was supposed to have cleaned while we were gone and did but minimally, not at all like she asked. She also isn't doing all of her hw again and was angry when we talked with her about it last night. Not so much that husband did but that I joined in because she knows how to just be passive aggressive with him and not say anything but she wasn't happy that we added in consequences so, of course, I was the bad one.
This all leads up to tonight when she was suppose to be cleaning the basement. She did vacuum and dust and set up the air mattress. However, we had asked her to do more (mind you she also took an hour and a half break to watch some cartoon movie). I finally said I would do the rest. She accused me of wanting it to neat and that it didn't really matter. She said other people's house are not always super clean when we go to them (believe me ours is far from perfect). She was screaming at me and demanding to know why I wanted certain things put away when it was mainly just the little kids that would be playing down there. I told her and she continued to hammer away so I just finally that it was the way Dad and I want it and so we didn't really need to explain it.
She accused me of being fake and always acting like we have the perfect family. I told her nothing could be further from the truth and that if she believed that she really didn't know me. She screamed good because she didn't want to know me. That after saying some really mean things yesterday as well.
I'm trying to build up my rhino skin but I tell you she really knows how to cut into it and drain the fun out of everything. I've so been looking forward to Thanksgiving and everyone coming (we have 14 guests coming so there will be 18 of us in all. I love when husband's family is here; we have a lot of fun, hang out, watch movies, play games and all of the little great nieces and nephews are a hoot.
I keep telling myself I am not going to let her ruin this day for husband and me! Still, I wish it didn't hurt so much. difficult child or not, she is on my every last nerve right now. Sometimes she makes me want to say things but I won't because I'm the adult and don't want to hurt her (of course, I do by just being me according to her) but, oh, the temptation is there!
Thanks for listening, need to vent before I said something to her I would regret later!!
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