I wish I could get my 6 yr. old daughter to behave in new kindergarten class

[Cheerwyn]

You've already gotten some great advice here... I just wanted to add one thing that jumped out at me when I read your first post...you really seemed upset and concerned that the teacher's e-mail somehow was questioning your parenting skills and morals.

I really didn't see much wrong with the teacher's e-mail. Rather than try and talk with you in the chaos of the hallway (and without much privacy), she sent you an e-mail that summarized things that had happened over a week's time. The first week of kindergarten is a hard transition from kids, and teachers shouldn't jump on something when it happens the first day as the kids are adjusting. But she's communicating to you that there are some serious problems that go beyond the usual adjustment period.

Also, from your post, you indicated that your daughter has had serious behavioral issues and has been to several specialsts. I understand why you chose not do disclose that to the school, but it also meant that they had no ability to prepare or deal with your daughter in a way that might accomodate or address those issues ahead of time.

I hope your meeting goes well and you and the school can work together to help your daughter succeed in kindergarten.

ETA: I forgot to finish my first thought.... I felt the same way, too, when the teachers and counselors at my son's preschool told me that they thought he was autistic. I felt like a bad parent, and that they were judging me. It's a real shock to the system sometimes to hear these things, but just reading your posts.... you are a great parent and are doing your best for your daughter.

 

[richmanlopez]

Hello All,

Thanks for thinking of me. The meeting went very well. Teacher and Principal were were very kind and approprite. I lead with the assumption that they were on my team. I shared my concern and acknowleged the problem and they apprecitated the fact that I was not in denial like some other parents are. Sometimes with emails the tone of the message may not read as one would express in person so I was surprised at their willingness to listen and act proactively. They said the first step is an IPT - intervention planning team which will take 6-8 weeks of documentation and monitoring by teach. If issues are not resolved then IPT becomes a group of teachers and myself included to brainstorm. In the mean while I shared with them what can esculate my child's bad behavior and what does work better for her. They will implement the Love and Logic program as well as 123 Magic. I made it clear that she is not a spoiled brat kid who gets off on being disobiedient. There is an underlying issue that is deeper. It seemed like they were open minded and I am too. As far as the 504 they said that it could only be approved if there is a major life function that is hindered. In regards to an IEP she would have to be suffering academically. My child is exception with the academics. Very very sharp daughter I have. Well at least I can breath again for the time being. I will fill you in on the updates. In my head Buddy and some the rest of you were right there with me at that conference table today. Cannot thank you enough for helping. )

 

[InsaneCdn]

In regards to an IEP she would have to be suffering academically.

NOPE. Check out the other recent threads - I think one of them is over on Special Education... but no, you can have an IEP even if the ONLY issues are behavioral, for example.

This isn't a major issue right NOW - there are other steps in the process, but keep this in mind.

 

[keista]

As far as the 504 they said that it could only be approved if there is a major life function that is hindered.

I don't know what their standards are, but in my book, not being able to behave properly in class is a hindrance of a major life function.

 

[Cheerwyn]

That does sound like a very promising meeting. The most important thing is communication, and it really sounds like they have a good plan for your daughter. I hope things go well for her.

 

[buddy]

I don't know what their standards are, but in my book, not being able to behave properly in class is a hindrance of a major life function.

Yup, It all sounds great so far, and many schools and systems do have some kind of child study team and the team wont look at assessment much until there have been interventions tried and docummented to not have worked in the classroom. Just keep in close touch because if it goes down hill in TWO weeks you can call their time line off and ask for the assessment.

In regard to the 504 plan, Most kids on them have mild issues....way milder than what you are describing. Impaired socialization is a HUGE life function. My nephew is adhd and on a 504 plan...he is 100% appropriate for his social life, only issue is his school grades and testing are going lower (Not IEP level low but lower) because of his huge difficulty organizing his assignments and turning things in. My other nephew has anxiety disorder. Again, not failing, very very smart, lots of friends and activities...but unable to handle test anxiety and deal with his anxiety in certain school situations. He too is on a 504 plan.

Just be aware you have options.

All the love and support in the world for you, great job!

 

[richmanlopez]

You know you have got your plate full when you see on your caller id that the school called and you totally panic thinking they want yo to come into the school to pick your daughter up due to some issue and you find out it was the cafateria just calling to say that you need to add some money to the lunch account. Feeeeeew!!!!

 

[InsaneCdn]

You know you have got your plate full when you see on your caller id that the school called and you totally panic thinking they want yo to come into the school to pick your daughter up due to some issue and you find out it was the cafateria just calling to say that you need to add some money to the lunch account. Feeeeeew!!!!

been there done that.
I had panic attacks last month when emails started coming from the school - scared to even OPEN them...
And it was... booking the IEP review meeting, and another note about him needing extra pencils or something.

What??? Not what I'm used to expecting!

And then the person on the other end of the phone wonders why you're talking so fast, like you're not used to talking on the phone or what!

 

[buddy]

been there done that.
I had panic attacks last month when emails started coming from the school - scared to even OPEN them...
And it was... booking the IEP review meeting, and another note about him needing extra pencils or something.

What??? Not what I'm used to expecting!

And then the person on the other end of the phone wonders why you're talking so fast, like you're not used to talking on the phone or what!

Here too....Every time it rings my BiPolar (BP) goes up. OH MY today it was the nurse... then the teacher, just letting me know she has a conference date.

then I show up for the routine meeting and I find out there WAS an issue and thank heaven no suspension from school but out of lunch for two days...that is another ranting post....sigh


I just remembered....difficult child's teacher called this summer.....I still just automatically felt that heart flip when I saw the number...then I thought, HEY, there is no school yet. When I answered I said...What do you want? I know he didn't do it, he is with me! She burst out laughing.

 

[keista]

Sorry, hijacking, but OMG I got 3 calls from the school today! Thank goodness they were all automated announcement calls.