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I wish I could get my 6 yr. old daughter to behave in new kindergarten class
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 465781" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I'm sorry you had to receive that. I imagine my heart dropping to my stomach if that happened to me. </p><p>While I feel it is important to share information with the school so that they make appropriate intervention decisions, I would be cautious about what you share at this point. Especially as it relates to things you THINK might be going on. If they even get a hint of ODD then it may be hard to shake. For all you know she has sensory integration disorder, very mild autism, adhd, etc. all of which share many of the symptoms you have listed. </p><p>It is only my opinion and you need to do what you feel is right but I would (I agree in person is better, it wont go into a file that sticks with her then and you have the benefit of correcting any misunderstandings on the spot) maybe say something like...</p><p></p><p>......Thanks for sharing your concerns. We too have concerns and are looking into everything we can to help her with these challenges. We have the same goals you do and look forward to working with you as a team for the benefit of our daughter.</p><p></p><p> You don't owe them any explanation for her behavior in terms of being on the defense and thinking they might judge you as poor parents. I know the feeling of that, and am year after year realizing that it doesn't even matter, they will see that I am there and working with them and that will let them see I am a great mom. If they dont, big deal, I am still a great mom for my son.</p><p></p><p>You didn't share information about whether this is a public school or not. If it is a public or charter school they cannot expel your child for something that is related to a possible disability unless she was a threat of SERIOUS physical harm to others. Not for social issues. If the private psychiatric says ther is something going on then you are only beginning your assessment and treatment journey. ( is it a neuropsychologist evaluation you are doing? It is good to get a "big picture" view as soon as possible for a baseline then you can track progress and also see if the gap is ever widening in terms of her performance compared to peers. some issues dont affecct academics now but may later, or social skills can improve in some areas but not others etc.) If you feel she has a special need/diagnosis and it impacts her school performance she may be eligible for school special education plans (she will likely go through a school evaluation process,it is free to you and mandated by law if you want it) which will afford you specific rights for her to receive appropriate teaching methods and supports. It will help them teach her to follow rules and make friends in a way that matches her medical condition and learning style, NOT just lecturing her about the rules and punishing her for lack of skills she just may not even have yet. Even if she understands school rules, she may not know how to navigate socially in order to follow those rules.</p><p></p><p>I do not know who you are planning to go see specifically but as others on this board have mentioned, if it is someone who specializes in ODD they may overlook other challenges and in fact see ODD in your child even if that is not the right diagnosis. At her young age it may be or it may not be, since so many issues result in a child having ODD SYMPTOMS but not really being only ODD. I am sure others will chime in here with questions and more support for you and it can get overwhelming. So please take what helps and leave what doesn't fit and never feel comments are directed at your parenting choices etc. I am pretty new here and I am so impressed with the level of caring and sincere efforts to help each other on this site. </p><p></p><p>Please keep us updated. If you go to your profile and settings tab you can insert information that will help people give you more specific advice (what has been her history of behaviors, medications, testing, Easy Child.) Please dont use your child's real name etc. My best to you as you begin this journey with the schools. </p><p></p><p>Check in often, I hope it goes well when you talk to the school.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 465781, member: 12886"] I'm sorry you had to receive that. I imagine my heart dropping to my stomach if that happened to me. While I feel it is important to share information with the school so that they make appropriate intervention decisions, I would be cautious about what you share at this point. Especially as it relates to things you THINK might be going on. If they even get a hint of ODD then it may be hard to shake. For all you know she has sensory integration disorder, very mild autism, adhd, etc. all of which share many of the symptoms you have listed. It is only my opinion and you need to do what you feel is right but I would (I agree in person is better, it wont go into a file that sticks with her then and you have the benefit of correcting any misunderstandings on the spot) maybe say something like... ......Thanks for sharing your concerns. We too have concerns and are looking into everything we can to help her with these challenges. We have the same goals you do and look forward to working with you as a team for the benefit of our daughter. You don't owe them any explanation for her behavior in terms of being on the defense and thinking they might judge you as poor parents. I know the feeling of that, and am year after year realizing that it doesn't even matter, they will see that I am there and working with them and that will let them see I am a great mom. If they dont, big deal, I am still a great mom for my son. You didn't share information about whether this is a public school or not. If it is a public or charter school they cannot expel your child for something that is related to a possible disability unless she was a threat of SERIOUS physical harm to others. Not for social issues. If the private psychiatric says ther is something going on then you are only beginning your assessment and treatment journey. ( is it a neuropsychologist evaluation you are doing? It is good to get a "big picture" view as soon as possible for a baseline then you can track progress and also see if the gap is ever widening in terms of her performance compared to peers. some issues dont affecct academics now but may later, or social skills can improve in some areas but not others etc.) If you feel she has a special need/diagnosis and it impacts her school performance she may be eligible for school special education plans (she will likely go through a school evaluation process,it is free to you and mandated by law if you want it) which will afford you specific rights for her to receive appropriate teaching methods and supports. It will help them teach her to follow rules and make friends in a way that matches her medical condition and learning style, NOT just lecturing her about the rules and punishing her for lack of skills she just may not even have yet. Even if she understands school rules, she may not know how to navigate socially in order to follow those rules. I do not know who you are planning to go see specifically but as others on this board have mentioned, if it is someone who specializes in ODD they may overlook other challenges and in fact see ODD in your child even if that is not the right diagnosis. At her young age it may be or it may not be, since so many issues result in a child having ODD SYMPTOMS but not really being only ODD. I am sure others will chime in here with questions and more support for you and it can get overwhelming. So please take what helps and leave what doesn't fit and never feel comments are directed at your parenting choices etc. I am pretty new here and I am so impressed with the level of caring and sincere efforts to help each other on this site. Please keep us updated. If you go to your profile and settings tab you can insert information that will help people give you more specific advice (what has been her history of behaviors, medications, testing, Easy Child.) Please dont use your child's real name etc. My best to you as you begin this journey with the schools. Check in often, I hope it goes well when you talk to the school. [/QUOTE]
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I wish I could get my 6 yr. old daughter to behave in new kindergarten class
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