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I'd like to talk about acceptance
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 626044" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Initial thoughts---I actually kept seeing this question in my mind's eye as a graphic. So I just sat down and drew it. I can't do that here, but I'll try to explain what I drew.</p><p></p><p>A stick figure that is a "normal" person. Underneath I wrote "normal goals."</p><p></p><p>A stick figure beside that one that is a person with mental illness (I am including addiction here).</p><p>Underneath I wrote "different goals."</p><p></p><p>Dissonance that occurs with the "different goals" person: parents, legal system, societal norms/expectations, culture, how to eat, sleep, buy clothes, survive. </p><p></p><p>Problem: There is no provision in our society for people who have "different goals." They will always be in conflict and experience dissonance. </p><p></p><p>Who is wrong? </p><p></p><p>Thought: I don't believe God wants them to live like this but what do I know about how God understands our difficult children? </p><p></p><p>Are our difficult children happy? Is being happy a worthy goal for anybody? Is it the only goal? ????</p><p></p><p>Is their unhappiness---if they have any----caused by the dissonance or are they wishing for a "normal" life?</p><p></p><p>Lucy who posts here says her son lives off the grid in a kind of "survival camp" in Europe. Do we have those here? </p><p></p><p>I know our difficult children talk about "plans" like you said, Echo. But is that just for our benefit or do they REALLY want those plans to come to reality? </p><p></p><p>I'm just thinking on this. I think it is very much worth thinking about and could lead to some real acceptance. Real acceptance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 626044, member: 17542"] Initial thoughts---I actually kept seeing this question in my mind's eye as a graphic. So I just sat down and drew it. I can't do that here, but I'll try to explain what I drew. A stick figure that is a "normal" person. Underneath I wrote "normal goals." A stick figure beside that one that is a person with mental illness (I am including addiction here). Underneath I wrote "different goals." Dissonance that occurs with the "different goals" person: parents, legal system, societal norms/expectations, culture, how to eat, sleep, buy clothes, survive. Problem: There is no provision in our society for people who have "different goals." They will always be in conflict and experience dissonance. Who is wrong? Thought: I don't believe God wants them to live like this but what do I know about how God understands our difficult children? Are our difficult children happy? Is being happy a worthy goal for anybody? Is it the only goal? ???? Is their unhappiness---if they have any----caused by the dissonance or are they wishing for a "normal" life? Lucy who posts here says her son lives off the grid in a kind of "survival camp" in Europe. Do we have those here? I know our difficult children talk about "plans" like you said, Echo. But is that just for our benefit or do they REALLY want those plans to come to reality? I'm just thinking on this. I think it is very much worth thinking about and could lead to some real acceptance. Real acceptance. [/QUOTE]
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