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I'd like to talk about acceptance
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 626052" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>At one time I facilitated support groups for folks who were dying. I think I learned the most about living from those people. I think without any doubt, that accepting death has to be at the top of the list of what we have no control over and what we have to accept. I observed that those who made that transition to acceptance have a totally different experience then those who did not. It is a futile, unrelenting struggle to continue to attempt to change something we cannot change and it causes massive amounts of suffering.</p><p></p><p>I agree with CiV and MWM that it has nothing to do with what WE like or dislike or expect or don't expect, it is completely about letting go of <u>anything</u> that we can't control. Having expectations that don't get met creates disappointment and heartache. Makes more sense to me to give up the expectation. I am not talking about a 16 year old, I am talking about adults. </p><p></p><p>So much of it, for me, has been about letting go of my judgment, my opinions about what is right and what is wrong............... how do I get to decide that for another human being? They may have a fate that I cannot possibly understand or know about...................their 'soul growth' is personal between them and their higher power, I am not privy to that. I may not like what my daughter is doing, but it is her right to do her life as she pleases and my opinion of that really doesn't matter. All I can do is set boundaries around the behavior that harms me and make that clear. </p><p></p><p>From that point I started to realize that misery is optional. I have no control over any of it, so why allow it to ruin my life, or even my moments.......................that was a choice I made. And, sometimes I have to decide that again. </p><p></p><p>I don't think acceptance is an easy thing to do. I think, at least for me, that I have to continue to make that choice. And, I do. Because it eliminates my suffering over something I have no control over. Underneath the control we believe we have, is our fear. Fear is what keeps us stuck, in my opinion. For me, it turns out to be about trust. Trust in life. Trust that whatever happens, it is fate, or destiny or the will of God, or whatever you want to name it, but it is out of my hands ........ it is a Universal tapestry of which we are all a part and for me, my daughter has her own unique thread in that tapestry. I don't get to judge that thread, or expect it to be like my thread or have any qualities other then it's own. All I can do is accept that it is present and it is doing exactly what it is meant to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 626052, member: 13542"] At one time I facilitated support groups for folks who were dying. I think I learned the most about living from those people. I think without any doubt, that accepting death has to be at the top of the list of what we have no control over and what we have to accept. I observed that those who made that transition to acceptance have a totally different experience then those who did not. It is a futile, unrelenting struggle to continue to attempt to change something we cannot change and it causes massive amounts of suffering. I agree with CiV and MWM that it has nothing to do with what WE like or dislike or expect or don't expect, it is completely about letting go of [U]anything[/U] that we can't control. Having expectations that don't get met creates disappointment and heartache. Makes more sense to me to give up the expectation. I am not talking about a 16 year old, I am talking about adults. So much of it, for me, has been about letting go of my judgment, my opinions about what is right and what is wrong............... how do I get to decide that for another human being? They may have a fate that I cannot possibly understand or know about...................their 'soul growth' is personal between them and their higher power, I am not privy to that. I may not like what my daughter is doing, but it is her right to do her life as she pleases and my opinion of that really doesn't matter. All I can do is set boundaries around the behavior that harms me and make that clear. From that point I started to realize that misery is optional. I have no control over any of it, so why allow it to ruin my life, or even my moments.......................that was a choice I made. And, sometimes I have to decide that again. I don't think acceptance is an easy thing to do. I think, at least for me, that I have to continue to make that choice. And, I do. Because it eliminates my suffering over something I have no control over. Underneath the control we believe we have, is our fear. Fear is what keeps us stuck, in my opinion. For me, it turns out to be about trust. Trust in life. Trust that whatever happens, it is fate, or destiny or the will of God, or whatever you want to name it, but it is out of my hands ........ it is a Universal tapestry of which we are all a part and for me, my daughter has her own unique thread in that tapestry. I don't get to judge that thread, or expect it to be like my thread or have any qualities other then it's own. All I can do is accept that it is present and it is doing exactly what it is meant to do. [/QUOTE]
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I'd like to talk about acceptance
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