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Parent Emeritus
I'd like to talk about acceptance
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 626438" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>This. This is acceptance.</p><p> </p><p>We really have to let go of all of it -- the expectations, the guilt, the resentment, the disappointment -- and accept our kids where they are, right now. This is who they are, who they've become. We don't have any responsibility to them, any more than we would if they were PCs - do any of us think that our own parents were responsible for us when we were 26, or 30? </p><p> </p><p>Their lifestyles, their morals, their choices are not ones we would have chosen for them. They're certainly not ones we'd choose for ourselves. But that's ok - because we're not them. We deserve our own happiness - and that happiness does not have to be dependent on what our kids are doing at any particular moment. It doesn't really matter if we don't like it -- it matters if we like ourselves, and what we are doing with our own lives. Acceptance is partly about a shift in focus -- focusing on our own needs instead of theirs - especially when it's really just our *perception* of their needs. </p><p> </p><p>Overly simplistic again, maybe - but I tend to think in simplistic ways these days. It helps when I feel like I'm getting sucked back into the drama.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 626438, member: 1157"] This. This is acceptance. We really have to let go of all of it -- the expectations, the guilt, the resentment, the disappointment -- and accept our kids where they are, right now. This is who they are, who they've become. We don't have any responsibility to them, any more than we would if they were PCs - do any of us think that our own parents were responsible for us when we were 26, or 30? Their lifestyles, their morals, their choices are not ones we would have chosen for them. They're certainly not ones we'd choose for ourselves. But that's ok - because we're not them. We deserve our own happiness - and that happiness does not have to be dependent on what our kids are doing at any particular moment. It doesn't really matter if we don't like it -- it matters if we like ourselves, and what we are doing with our own lives. Acceptance is partly about a shift in focus -- focusing on our own needs instead of theirs - especially when it's really just our *perception* of their needs. Overly simplistic again, maybe - but I tend to think in simplistic ways these days. It helps when I feel like I'm getting sucked back into the drama. [/QUOTE]
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I'd like to talk about acceptance
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