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Parent Emeritus
I'd like to talk about acceptance
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 626475" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Yes. The things I am coming to understand go to the heart of who I am. I have been angry and ashamed for so long that somehow, I got all twisted up, got all identified with that. </p><p></p><p>Maybe the first step is: It is what it is. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We can. Once we can see where we are. That is the hard part.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is an important piece, COM. My questions had to do with where I had failed, with what was the matter with <u>me</u>. </p><p></p><p>"This still happened. My love could not stop it."</p><p></p><p>This is beautiful.</p><p></p><p>There is a kind of courage in that statement. My love could not stop it. Not a frantic scurrying for how I was wrong or bad or less than. The truth is that I did love my children. I do love them. </p><p></p><p>This still happened. My love could not stop it.</p><p></p><p>Simple, and clean.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>In addition, there is the truth that what we pay attention to we will get more of. For myself, I will say that everything became identified through the problems, through the losses and wrongnesses. I kept trying to find a way to be better than I was, kept trying to see where and how I'd created this vulnerability in my children.</p><p></p><p>"This still happened. My love could not stop it."</p><p></p><p>I love that. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Guilt. That is what that phrase addresses.</p><p></p><p>Everything gets to look very different, when I am not choosing the victim's stance; when I am no seeing through the victim's stance of either guilt or shame.</p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes! By continuing to repeat old truths, and by continuing to rework old, failed patterns. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. For me, this is the nature of detachment. To take responsibility for my part in creating this twisted dependency/resentment. </p><p></p><p>"I must believe that he is capable and stop assuming that he is not."</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 626475, member: 17461"] Yes. The things I am coming to understand go to the heart of who I am. I have been angry and ashamed for so long that somehow, I got all twisted up, got all identified with that. Maybe the first step is: It is what it is. We can. Once we can see where we are. That is the hard part. This is an important piece, COM. My questions had to do with where I had failed, with what was the matter with [U]me[/U]. "This still happened. My love could not stop it." This is beautiful. There is a kind of courage in that statement. My love could not stop it. Not a frantic scurrying for how I was wrong or bad or less than. The truth is that I did love my children. I do love them. This still happened. My love could not stop it. Simple, and clean. In addition, there is the truth that what we pay attention to we will get more of. For myself, I will say that everything became identified through the problems, through the losses and wrongnesses. I kept trying to find a way to be better than I was, kept trying to see where and how I'd created this vulnerability in my children. "This still happened. My love could not stop it." I love that. Guilt. That is what that phrase addresses. Everything gets to look very different, when I am not choosing the victim's stance; when I am no seeing through the victim's stance of either guilt or shame. Yes! By continuing to repeat old truths, and by continuing to rework old, failed patterns. Yes. For me, this is the nature of detachment. To take responsibility for my part in creating this twisted dependency/resentment. "I must believe that he is capable and stop assuming that he is not." Cedar [/QUOTE]
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I'd like to talk about acceptance
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