IEP mtg...waste of time in my humble opinion

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Oct 28, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    wm's IEP mtg was yesterday & not one change; mostly because wm has not met any of the previous years goals. I asked about rephrasing the goals (as wm is a part of this mtg now) & making them less "boring" to him.

    Not happening ~ it seems that it's becoming a waste of time to attend these mtgs.

    Having said that wm is being enrolled in a class called ART - aggression replacement training. wm refused to go & I dangled the only carrot I have; told wm that he wasn't welcome to visit home unless he takes that class. Immediately wm's foster SW apologized for me. Can you believe it?

    I held my tongue in the mtg but had a few choice words for SW afterwords.

    wm is pushing every button he can & using that excuse that he'd be better if he could live here with me. Not happening anytime soon or ever. He's too aggressive. The boy has a strong team behind him (there were 10 in attendance & then school staff).

    Ick, ick, ick....

  2. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Good for you that you held your tongue. I admire your ability not to respond impulsively. I think something like that would have been a mighty struggle for me. I'm glad you set SW straight afterward.

    In a sense Wm is certainly no different than any other 15 yo; he doesn't want ANYTHING to be "boring". Unfortunately, Wm's issues warrant more serious action. You did what you think to be in Wm's best interest.

    Sorry it didn't go better.
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Sorry, you're too polite. I would have corrected SW in the meeting. He just undermined you in front of WM, so all bets are off. Alternatively, if you really wanted to show SW the respect he should have shown you, you pause the process and say to people, "I need to pause for a moment while something gets sorted out. Mr SW, please join me outside for a moment. Everyone else, talk amongst yourselves. This won't take long."

    I agree, you don't undermine someone like the SW - but only as long as he also shows the same respect. Our kids need to see that we mean what we say, especially if we really DID mean it.

    I agree with your summary - ick. Definitely.

    Oh, I forgot to add - if he's made no progress under the current IEP, then the IEP is not working. Surely that's obvious to the team? If not, then they need to go find other jobs, clearly they're not capable of adaptability and the necessary challenges. TheIEP should havew been reassessed well before a year elapsed. difficult child 3's IEP gets re-checked and evaluated four times a year, with my involvement long-distance, if necessary. We're a long way from the school plus he's a correspondence student (so he's home with me) but he still has an IEP and I'm in constant contact with his assigned staff member in charge of the IEP. She will adapt the plan mid-term if we need it. Whatever it takes, seems to be her motto.

    Definitely, they wasted your time. Poor wm - how can he do better, with such 'help' as this?

  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Marg, I was livid that SW would make this gaff! I have so little respect or impact on my son ~ the little I do have was taken from me by SW.

    I asked her for an apology & to straighten out this with wm. He needs to know that what I say goes ~ even if SW doesn't necessarily agree with it. Foster mum was stunned as well.
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I had a social worker and a teacher do that to me at an IEP meeting. Thankfully Kanga was not there. They wanted her there but I refused consent and due to her age, they couldn't force it. I don't know what these incompetent....board censor is making me stop.

    So sorry his IEP is so ineffective.