I have had a very bad wk with-difficult child. husband has stepped up to the plate in the past 2 yrs but only after I threatened to move out. And what he's done seems to be too little, too late. Tonight he gave difficult child back his TV privileges after grounding him off of TV, and the child psychiatric specifically told us NOT to let him earn back things like that, to stay strong. That makes me very angry. On top of it, every time I turned around husband let difficult child run around with-his friends and totally ignored difficult child's chore list. husband insisted he could do it later. We are NOT on the same page. I made the mistake of making a sandwich for difficult child as he was watching his "forbidden" TV, and it wasn't the exact sandwich he wanted and he slammed the plate onto the coffee table. I screamed at him and made him go to his room. He had already eaten dinner and I refuse to wait on him--I should not have made that extra sandwich and I am mad at myself for doing it. His room reeks of urine because he's wet the bed so many times and no matter how hard we bleach it, it still stinks. He's got half a window because the bottom half is being repaired from when he broke it with-the baseball. His room is fill of This whole thing goes around and around and I am completely out of energy. Especially since husband won't stick to his guns. He spent time with-difficult child this weekend, and supervised the matches, but he refuses to act like we're a couple and just does whatever he wants to when it comes to difficult child. He took difficult child to some kids church sports activity and didn't even tell me about it--just left an advertising postcard on the kitchen counter and assumed I'd see it. We have been in counseling with a marriage therapist and a child psychologist. Right now I feel like it's all been. So, the truth of it is, I was planning to move out in a year, when easy child goes to college. That way, husband will be left alone at home with-difficult child. I'm thinking of doing it sooner. I don't think I can last another yr. I just want out of this madhouse. But will difficult child think he "won"? How many of you have moved out and what was your difficult child's reaction? Who knows, he could be totally shocked and feel like I've abandoned him. But I am more concerned that he'll see it as a victory. If that is the case, I cannot leave. I don't know what to do.