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If It's Friday and Trouble is Starting
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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 274078" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>husband is over his head and I don't want to criticize him, but he's so over his head (like I).</p><p> </p><p>husband believes that because he dealt with his truly psychotic bipolar ex for 10 years and her two brothers, he is an expert in mental illness. And his theory is there's nothing you can do until it gets so bad that society/medical profession HAS to take notice and do something, and when that something is done, it's only going to be the bare minimum. And nobody cares if your family member's problems make your life miserable as long as the misery isn't extended to strangers. He thinks in the meantime you manage the problem the best you can, as with therapy, medication, alarms, schools, supervision, etc...</p><p> </p><p>I think he's right... but I think his approach falls far short. They say early intervention is the key for preventing/ameliorating mental illness and behavior disorders. And I bet that's true, and we've tried, but we can't seem to acquire much help. The list of doctors and schools and tests and psychologists and social workers and counselor and so on goes back to 2000 when difficult child was 3 years old. There's just so little help for disturbed children unless they fall into a clear specific catagory that has a proven treatment regimen.</p><p> </p><p>I can't fix difficult child or even improve him. I'm just the stepmother. Unlike a bio mom I can't say 'I think my kid has schizophrenia and a budding personality disorder possibility antisocial. Look at the 'callous unemotional traits', look at the violent ideation and tentative acting out. Look at the distorted hypchondriac fears. Whatever your impression of him is, he's both miserable and terrified, and cold and enraged. He's polite and friendly because he lives with polite and friendly people. He's also a predator. He's not merely 'having trouble adjusting to his father's remarriage' and 'needs more positive attention', he's profoundly disturbed."</p><p> </p><p>A bio mom can say that, a stepmother just sounds hateful.</p><p> </p><p>husband is willing to follow any treatment protocol, he's not insisting on forcing his ideas on anyone. He will try anything that might work. But nothing's worked yet, and he's wanting to give this psychiatrist/therapist team a chance along with the lexapro. He's already said that if nothing improves by the end of the summer, he'll try something else. </p><p> </p><p>husband also struggles with leftovers from his childhood (like we all do). He was raised to be codependent and to save people from themselves. He's getting better on this, but it clouds his judgment.</p><p> </p><p>He's also been dealing with severe mental illness of someone in his immediate family since abt 1994 and is EXHAUSTED by it.</p><p> </p><p>We feel helpless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 274078, member: 5169"] husband is over his head and I don't want to criticize him, but he's so over his head (like I). husband believes that because he dealt with his truly psychotic bipolar ex for 10 years and her two brothers, he is an expert in mental illness. And his theory is there's nothing you can do until it gets so bad that society/medical profession HAS to take notice and do something, and when that something is done, it's only going to be the bare minimum. And nobody cares if your family member's problems make your life miserable as long as the misery isn't extended to strangers. He thinks in the meantime you manage the problem the best you can, as with therapy, medication, alarms, schools, supervision, etc... I think he's right... but I think his approach falls far short. They say early intervention is the key for preventing/ameliorating mental illness and behavior disorders. And I bet that's true, and we've tried, but we can't seem to acquire much help. The list of doctors and schools and tests and psychologists and social workers and counselor and so on goes back to 2000 when difficult child was 3 years old. There's just so little help for disturbed children unless they fall into a clear specific catagory that has a proven treatment regimen. I can't fix difficult child or even improve him. I'm just the stepmother. Unlike a bio mom I can't say 'I think my kid has schizophrenia and a budding personality disorder possibility antisocial. Look at the 'callous unemotional traits', look at the violent ideation and tentative acting out. Look at the distorted hypchondriac fears. Whatever your impression of him is, he's both miserable and terrified, and cold and enraged. He's polite and friendly because he lives with polite and friendly people. He's also a predator. He's not merely 'having trouble adjusting to his father's remarriage' and 'needs more positive attention', he's profoundly disturbed." A bio mom can say that, a stepmother just sounds hateful. husband is willing to follow any treatment protocol, he's not insisting on forcing his ideas on anyone. He will try anything that might work. But nothing's worked yet, and he's wanting to give this psychiatrist/therapist team a chance along with the lexapro. He's already said that if nothing improves by the end of the summer, he'll try something else. husband also struggles with leftovers from his childhood (like we all do). He was raised to be codependent and to save people from themselves. He's getting better on this, but it clouds his judgment. He's also been dealing with severe mental illness of someone in his immediate family since abt 1994 and is EXHAUSTED by it. We feel helpless. [/QUOTE]
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