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If you have personality disorders in your family, including difficult child...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 629044" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>So this morning, sort of poking through that sense of expectation surrounding family of origin, I realized this, MWM: When we aren't seeing our families, and so, they haven't done something crazy or wrong recently enough that it balances out the missing them feelings?</p><p></p><p>That's when we miss them.</p><p></p><p>Wonder how they look at that?</p><p></p><p>The last time we didn't speak (five years, that time), my mother got defensive, gathered all family to herself, said things like, "If she doesn't want to be part of this family, then...."</p><p></p><p>So, they have each other (maybe not the best thing in the long run, but....) and all of that good, strengthening, hateful emotion to run on. So, I am wondering how to think about this missing family stuff. I think I might be pretending they were nicer or more enjoyable than they were.</p><p></p><p>I remember a really nice sense of expectation or duty or responsibility...but not much joy in the doing.</p><p></p><p>Funny, funny things happened, though!</p><p></p><p>Ha!</p><p></p><p>Maybe that is what I miss, most. </p><p></p><p>I miss the drama. I miss the edge.</p><p></p><p>Like any abused person, once I am safe, I miss the aliveness of abusive relationship, the total attention it requires, the keeping on my toes mentally and emotionally part.</p><p></p><p>Interesting, isn't it.</p><p></p><p>Do you feel that, too?</p><p></p><p>I had best take up running or something.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 629044, member: 17461"] So this morning, sort of poking through that sense of expectation surrounding family of origin, I realized this, MWM: When we aren't seeing our families, and so, they haven't done something crazy or wrong recently enough that it balances out the missing them feelings? That's when we miss them. Wonder how they look at that? The last time we didn't speak (five years, that time), my mother got defensive, gathered all family to herself, said things like, "If she doesn't want to be part of this family, then...." So, they have each other (maybe not the best thing in the long run, but....) and all of that good, strengthening, hateful emotion to run on. So, I am wondering how to think about this missing family stuff. I think I might be pretending they were nicer or more enjoyable than they were. I remember a really nice sense of expectation or duty or responsibility...but not much joy in the doing. Funny, funny things happened, though! Ha! Maybe that is what I miss, most. I miss the drama. I miss the edge. Like any abused person, once I am safe, I miss the aliveness of abusive relationship, the total attention it requires, the keeping on my toes mentally and emotionally part. Interesting, isn't it. Do you feel that, too? I had best take up running or something. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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If you have personality disorders in your family, including difficult child...
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