Well. I ended up with two extra tickets to the concert. I brought a friend and let Oldest bring a friend. It turned out to be quite .. fateful. If it had been just me and Oldest, and I'd had to worry about driving her home? I shudder to think how my night would have been.
When I called her to tell her I had the extra ticket, I could hear the pain medications, or something like them, in her voice. Slurring words. The friend picked her up and they met me and my friend out front of the coliseum. The first thing she did was not say hello, but begin to tell me her ex husband was in town and ranting about it.. I stopped her mid-sentence and said "Oldest, I told you, NO drama tonight.. leave it all here and stop or I swear, I'll sell your ticket." She shut up. She looked AWFUL. Greasy hair, pale, pimply face, all the marks of being in the throes of another pain medication binge. I gave her the tickets for her and her friend. When they got into the concert and met us at the box (we had box seats, courtesy of my company), I could see that her eyelids were half closed. I was SO embarrassed. She was slurring, looked like death warmed over, smelled, and was greasy. She did have on new, clean clothes, though... *courtesy of the friend* .. Oldest convinced her to buy her a new outfit for work!
The concert started and Oldest didn't even stand UP. This was Bruce Springsteen, people... HIGH ENERGY. She sat going through her purse looking for something. At one point I looked back (she was sitting behind me) and she had something in her hand, and was nodding off. I turned back and asked what was wrong, and she said, "Im looking for my f'ing camera." I was mortified.. I had already warned her about her mouth (my boss and his family are Mormon, we try to be especially respectful around them). I whispered in her ear, "watch your mouth" and she did not react well. When she's like this, any negative words are taken as major criticism and she'll accuse me of "yelling" at her.
Then, I did yell at her. I felt bad about that. But she pulled out her camera (which she wasn't supposed to have, I had talked to her about that too but she snuck it in .. I told her to at least turn off the flash). She took a picture WITH FLASH and everyone in front of us turned around. I grabbed the camera and snapped, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!" The wife of a coworker, and the boss's wife, both looked at me. Of course, I looked like the idiot. I know I was overly sensitive to her appearance and actions, others probably didn't notice it as much as I did. This just made me snap. She looked like she was going to cry.
Concert going on, she's still not even standing up (the entire stadium was standing). She leaves with her friend, then comes back and stands behind me saying, "can I talk to you?" I was not going to leave the concert to hear her drama. I asked her what she wanted. She said, "I've tried so hard to be nice and respectful around your friend and work people and you just yelled at me. You don't know what kind of day I've had... I cant take this.. I'm going home. " I looked at her and said, "Oldest, for one thing, you are high as a kite, you can' teven keep your eyes open, and you're nodding off." She looked at me in shock at first, then said, "I'm SICK mom!" She started to argue with me, I said I am NOT doing this with you here .. and she left.
Her poor friend. She really wanted to see Bruce. I haven't spoken to Oldest today, I was dealing with Youngest all day (who had surgery this morning to diagnose endometriosis, at 20 years old.. another long story). I'm babysitting my grandson tonight. I need to talk to my boss tomorrow and apologize for the entire thing.. again, I think they didn't notice as much as I think they did (it was awfully loud, for one thing), but I feel the need to say something.
I'm so tired. I want off this merry-go round. Her boyfriend is a pharmacy tech, by the way. He actually called Youngest the other day and asked if she had any scrips for pain pills ... he knew of Younget's endo diagnosis and that she had percocets. He was asking for pills for Oldest, said he'd fill them without running them on Youngest's (mine) insurance.
Exhaling now. I know this is long. But... that's where we stand as of now.
Thanks for reading.
And, thanks, Janet, for your coments re classic borderline behavior... believe it or not, I get comfort in that, just in confirming the traits. Her former psychiatrist is certain that's what she has, but there is no "formal" diagnosis because she refuses to seek treatment. Once I had her read the DSM for it, and she denied every single symptom. So, not much hope of her acknowledging it anytime soon. She will acknowledge the bipolar, but I think because it elicits sympathy. Not like she'll take medications for it.
I'm rambling now... lol.. thanks again,all of you.
