I'm at that point. I hate ODD....

[Charmedpea]

After being back in school after getting difficult child 80 day expelled for fighting over turned and an IEP she curses at 2 teachers 3 times. she has failed the 1st quarter of school, they are going to put her in alternative school for 20days 1 day suspended which is today. I tell her not to go anywhere.

Now mind you last week on friday we have a court date her lawer gets her another court date to try and get the charges reduced. on the court papers it says have full school attendance, no contact with victim and have good behavior in home, school, and the community.

she is supposedto start alertnate school tomorrow. I have no idea where she is. Tell me last night i'm not going end of story. I go to work she is gone. I havent seen her since this am. She is usually home by 9pm. When she is aloud out.

I am so tired of her calling the shots sort of speak. I am at the end of my rope.

Do I go to the police station with the letter from the court hearing.
Every time we call the cops when we cant find her the dispatcher says what do you want us to do.. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRr..

She doesnt think that rules apply to her. She does what she wants, when she wants. She will manupulate anything to meet her wants..

This ODD things Stinks!! Right now I want her locked up. I feel like screaming. I have missed so much work because of going up to school, court dates, they are very understanding. Oh and if she is out passed curfew I can go to jail.. So do i report her to the cops before they pick her up somewhere.

We try and not **** her off sort of speak she becomes so violent and mouthy I just want to put a bar of soap in her mouth.

ok my vent is over for now thanks for listening..

 

[mstang67chic]

If she is court ordered to be home, go to school, etc., I think I would go to the police. Even if they do nothing, you have documentation that you have complied by reporting her and aren't one of those "whatever" parents. You don't mention but is there any kind of probation officer involved that you could contact? Also, if she refuses to go to school, call them to. Let them know what's going on (that she is refusing) and that (I'm assuming) it's physically impossible for you to get her in the car to drive her to school. Just one more way to cover yourself.

As for the rest, hard as it is....two words: natural consequence. You make reasonable efforts on your part (reporting her, establishing rules, etc.) and if she chooses to ignore them, let her deal with the fall out.

Sending hugs. I know it hoovers and is hard.

 

[Charmedpea]

their is no probation yet. court is 13th of nov. I have a whole month to go. I just got back from the police station. I filed a report if they dont hear from me in 4 hours they will put it threw to dispatch..

He said he can come over even if its 2am in the morning. and try and scare her. I said you can try but she is not affraid of anything. He said the one recourse I have it the pending assault 1, degree M1. But the lawyer can get her off. and advise me to tell the lawer I want the hardest punishment they can put on her. That might get her to understand you cant do what you want when you want.

She is still not home. I said what about not going to school. He said call the officer that handles stuff for the school so it looks like I will be calling him in the morning if she is truant tomorrow..

If she is court ordered to be home, go to school, etc., I think I would go to the police. Even if they do nothing, you have documentation that you have complied by reporting her and aren't one of those "whatever" parents. You don't mention but is there any kind of probation officer involved that you could contact? Also, if she refuses to go to school, call them to. Let them know what's going on (that she is refusing) and that (I'm assuming) it's physically impossible for you to get her in the car to drive her to school. Just one more way to cover yourself.

As for the rest, hard as it is....two words: natural consequence. You make reasonable efforts on your part (reporting her, establishing rules, etc.) and if she chooses to ignore them, let her deal with the fall out.

Sending hugs. I know it hoovers and is hard.

 

[BusynMember]

Is there any drug abuse or drinking going on? My daughter, sadly, started at twelve. I had no idea that my innocent, sweet twelve year old was smoking pot on the way to school.
I would want to get a further evaluation. Her behavior is way over the line. Unless she is using drugs, which would be the cause of this behavior, I'd think she had something more than ODD--more of a mood disorder. I had that and, as a teen, that's when the hormones kicked it way out of control. I can only explain that while I had a really strange urge to disobey anyone who tried to stop me from having "fun" I also hated myself and felt suicidal and wished I could control myself and "be good" like other kids. But I couldn't. At more candid moments when my mom could get me to talk to her, I'd say, "I HAVE to be with my friends because it's all I have. I'm dumb and crazy and I need my friends, so you can't stop me or there's nothing left of me. I'm sad all the time." (((Hugs))) and good luck with your precious daughter.

 

[Pookybear66]

I don't have any additional advice, but ((((HUGS))) to you! I hope it works out.

 

[Wishing]

I know what you mean about "rules not applying to them". I hope the police track her down as it is unsafe for a teen to be about town on her own without checking in with her parent.

 

[Charmedpea]

when you said twelve I thought omg so young but you know what I can say that is when her stuff started. And I guess i'm in denial can she be doing those things, probably is and I just want my little girl back.

thank goodness I got to leave work at noon yesturday. I was a mess all morning to work at work. Crying inbetween customers it was terrible and then friends would call to see how I was doing and I would loose composure again. I just wish I can get in her head and make it all go away, and fix her, kiss and hold her. During her younger years from birth till I would say 6th grade she was fine. Got good grades never in trouble and all of a sudden she changed.

**** she is coming got to go

Is there any drug abuse or drinking going on? My daughter, sadly, started at twelve. I had no idea that my innocent, sweet twelve year old was smoking pot on the way to school.
I would want to get a further evaluation. Her behavior is way over the line. Unless she is using drugs, which would be the cause of this behavior, I'd think she had something more than ODD--more of a mood disorder. I had that and, as a teen, that's when the hormones kicked it way out of control. I can only explain that while I had a really strange urge to disobey anyone who tried to stop me from having "fun" I also hated myself and felt suicidal and wished I could control myself and "be good" like other kids. But I couldn't. At more candid moments when my mom could get me to talk to her, I'd say, "I HAVE to be with my friends because it's all I have. I'm dumb and crazy and I need my friends, so you can't stop me or there's nothing left of me. I'm sad all the time." (((Hugs))) and good luck with your precious daughter.