Robinboots
New Member
...he's 18 now.
I'm beside myself, don't know what to do.
In a nutshell:
As a child, my son lied, had issues with school, kids, destruction, etc.
As a young teen, he was "jumped" a few times, told bigger lies more often, got into porn, and started blowing off school.
At 15, to recap, he went nuts, got violent, skipped class, lied some more, started running off. We put him in counseling, met with teachers, he made false reports (2) saying we beat him. We did intensive home therapy through the state. Sent him to military school, with more counseling. He pulled a hunger strike, more violent behavior, more running away on breaks and over the summer. Sent him back. He was involved with alcohol; he may have sent a building on fire; he ordered tasers online and used them on other students. His grades, however, came up a bit. Sigh.
At 16, he was expelled from military school. We gave him the option of working and getting his GED and starting college in the summer/fall, or going to the alternative high school. He got a job, but put off his GED for six months. In the meantime, he started in again with the violent behavior, destruction, tampered with my computer and almost started a fire, and running away. He assaulted me and spent 3 weeks in detention, then was put on probation.
A week later, he got physical with his dad and was taken back to detention. He called me to pick him up and I refused. The next morning, I received a call that they were taking him into protective custody - he claimed his dad beat him up. For a month he was in a shelter; the judge ruled BS on the beating, but left the kid in foster care for six months. The social workers were on crack, on something.... We did more counseling. He was tested. They said there was nothing wrong, must be my parenting.
In foster care, he learned all about how the "other half" lives and now seems to prefer hanging with losers, heavy drinkers, and general scum. Sorry, but sheesh....
After he left foster care and came home, a counselor told me he had showed Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) tendencies on his testing. But they also said it was "too late" to put him in residential because he was almost 17.
At 17, I was finally able to take him to a psychiatrist. He was diagnosis with CD and put on Risperdal for violent behavior. He sometimes took it. And, that semester, he was in college...but seldome went to class or did any work. He did, however, manage to spend all the Pell refund on stupid things.
We sold him our car, we tried to get him to continue his education; he did work. Then, a couple months later, he started taking off again...even though still on probation. He'd been back in court a few times, the judge kept on probation and gave him more community service. He started breaking into the family farm, having drinking parties and people (girls) staying overnight, shooting out windows, trashing the place, having bonfires.
We repossessed the car. He took off. Went to stay with his former foster parents. Came home once or twice, demanding money. The last time, he refused to leave and refused to allow me to leave. I got an RO.
Nov 5, he called me. He wanted to come home. He said and did all the right things. At first. He agreed with everything, all our advice. At first. Then he started staying out all night. He took the Pell money, again, but never went to class. He runs around all the time, overnight. Yes, he's now 18. He lies about everything. In less than 3 months he's managed to spend $1500 in grant money, plus income from both jobs, plus at least one $500 credit card. He's made one car payment to us, $250, and gone back on every.single.agreement. Has been kicked out of two of five classes for NEVER showing up.
So, armchair diagnosis? And advice? PLEASE.
I'm beside myself, don't know what to do.
In a nutshell:
As a child, my son lied, had issues with school, kids, destruction, etc.
As a young teen, he was "jumped" a few times, told bigger lies more often, got into porn, and started blowing off school.
At 15, to recap, he went nuts, got violent, skipped class, lied some more, started running off. We put him in counseling, met with teachers, he made false reports (2) saying we beat him. We did intensive home therapy through the state. Sent him to military school, with more counseling. He pulled a hunger strike, more violent behavior, more running away on breaks and over the summer. Sent him back. He was involved with alcohol; he may have sent a building on fire; he ordered tasers online and used them on other students. His grades, however, came up a bit. Sigh.
At 16, he was expelled from military school. We gave him the option of working and getting his GED and starting college in the summer/fall, or going to the alternative high school. He got a job, but put off his GED for six months. In the meantime, he started in again with the violent behavior, destruction, tampered with my computer and almost started a fire, and running away. He assaulted me and spent 3 weeks in detention, then was put on probation.
A week later, he got physical with his dad and was taken back to detention. He called me to pick him up and I refused. The next morning, I received a call that they were taking him into protective custody - he claimed his dad beat him up. For a month he was in a shelter; the judge ruled BS on the beating, but left the kid in foster care for six months. The social workers were on crack, on something.... We did more counseling. He was tested. They said there was nothing wrong, must be my parenting.
In foster care, he learned all about how the "other half" lives and now seems to prefer hanging with losers, heavy drinkers, and general scum. Sorry, but sheesh....
After he left foster care and came home, a counselor told me he had showed Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) tendencies on his testing. But they also said it was "too late" to put him in residential because he was almost 17.
At 17, I was finally able to take him to a psychiatrist. He was diagnosis with CD and put on Risperdal for violent behavior. He sometimes took it. And, that semester, he was in college...but seldome went to class or did any work. He did, however, manage to spend all the Pell refund on stupid things.
We sold him our car, we tried to get him to continue his education; he did work. Then, a couple months later, he started taking off again...even though still on probation. He'd been back in court a few times, the judge kept on probation and gave him more community service. He started breaking into the family farm, having drinking parties and people (girls) staying overnight, shooting out windows, trashing the place, having bonfires.
We repossessed the car. He took off. Went to stay with his former foster parents. Came home once or twice, demanding money. The last time, he refused to leave and refused to allow me to leave. I got an RO.
Nov 5, he called me. He wanted to come home. He said and did all the right things. At first. He agreed with everything, all our advice. At first. Then he started staying out all night. He took the Pell money, again, but never went to class. He runs around all the time, overnight. Yes, he's now 18. He lies about everything. In less than 3 months he's managed to spend $1500 in grant money, plus income from both jobs, plus at least one $500 credit card. He's made one car payment to us, $250, and gone back on every.single.agreement. Has been kicked out of two of five classes for NEVER showing up.
So, armchair diagnosis? And advice? PLEASE.
