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I'm back to square 1 aka hw much "I'm bored" is to much
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 430877" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am often mystified by other parents and the things they allow their kdis to do. You are right in that sometimes it is GOOD to not have certain other kids to play with. There is one girl my daughter's age (within 2 yrs of her) on our street. When we first moved here they played together. Until I realized that they were crazy - seriously dangerously crazy. the dad uses religion to abuse the mom and the daughter and the older daughter who used to visit when forced to for a week in the summer - and refused to visit any other time. It started when he went off on ME about how only whores colored their hair (at the time I colored mine) and how it was because that and the other influences I let into our home that I had health problems. Then the mother forced her way in past Wiz to pray over me when I had a serious migraine, then Jess begged to spend the night so I gave permission and she came home crying the next morning about how the dad screamed at her for something a friend wrote on her shirt (NOT anything inappropriate by a LOOOOONG SHOT) and refused to let her call or come home - actually locked her in his daughter's room!!! At that point I informed them that my daughter would not be spending time with them and neither would I and they were NOT welcome on our property!! All of that happened in about 24 hours - if I hadn't had a migraine when asked about the sleepover I probably would not have given permission, given the other things. But it was really bad and medications were not helping and I was not in my right mind. A couple of weeks later the mom came over to ask me to talk to her husband about his anger issues. Then I figured that he abused her but it was not my battle to fight. She thought that since I was so strong that I could stand up to him that I could "save" her and it would be me who was "sinning" and he wouldn't be able to blame her or get mad at her for going against God by telling him he was out of line. I did give her the number for the DV center though. It just was NOT a fight that I felt safe entering. I told her if she ever wanted to press charges she could call from here, but otherwise to stay off the property and not to speak to my children if they were in the street. </p><p></p><p>So I TOTALLY understand about not always wanting her to go and play with other kids!! Those parents who won't take a gun away from a kid because he would argue - wow - they are going to have a wild ride when the kids are teens. My father would have just broken the gun in two or more pieces if we argued with him when he said we couldn't use it. No real discussion, just hitting it iwth or against something or putting it on the saw and chopping it up. No way would my parents have needed a law to make us listen. WTH is wrong with parents these days? Heck, MY kids might THINK to challenge me by saying it isn't against the law, but they ALWAYS know that my answer will be either "so what?"," Tough Luck", or "It is for you." </p><p></p><p>I think you are handling the boredom well, esp as you see a difference between her usual and the depression boredom. I do think that if she tells you she doesn't want to do 2 or 3 things you suggest that a chore would be appropriate. Not a long one, just something that helps you and will motivate her to do one of the activities that you first suggested. There is NOTHING wrong with using boredom to accomplish something, in my opinion. I don't ever remember my mother giving us anything but chores when we whined about boredom. Most of the time we were afraid we would get chores so we would rather go read the encyclopedia than tell Mom we were bored. My dad succumbed to a door to door encyclopedia salesman when we were little and we read a LOT of them. Mostly because we wanted to, some for school. It was very useful for when we were bored or had read all our books. Yes, were were odd children, lol!</p><p></p><p>You might also think about getting some of the books of science experiments and craft activities that are designed for kids to do. They can spark a lot of ideas. Also there is a book crammed with sensory activities called "The Out of Sync Child Has Fun" that is AWESOME. It is by Carol Kranowitz and has a TON of great activities and ways to do them for very little money. My family LOVES these things and we have used the book a LOT. Even when the kids are not having problems being overwhelmed or whatever the book has fun ideas. But there are a LOT of fun activities and crafts in various books for kids. I can search out some titles if you want. My kids always esp loved the science experiments.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 430877, member: 1233"] I am often mystified by other parents and the things they allow their kdis to do. You are right in that sometimes it is GOOD to not have certain other kids to play with. There is one girl my daughter's age (within 2 yrs of her) on our street. When we first moved here they played together. Until I realized that they were crazy - seriously dangerously crazy. the dad uses religion to abuse the mom and the daughter and the older daughter who used to visit when forced to for a week in the summer - and refused to visit any other time. It started when he went off on ME about how only whores colored their hair (at the time I colored mine) and how it was because that and the other influences I let into our home that I had health problems. Then the mother forced her way in past Wiz to pray over me when I had a serious migraine, then Jess begged to spend the night so I gave permission and she came home crying the next morning about how the dad screamed at her for something a friend wrote on her shirt (NOT anything inappropriate by a LOOOOONG SHOT) and refused to let her call or come home - actually locked her in his daughter's room!!! At that point I informed them that my daughter would not be spending time with them and neither would I and they were NOT welcome on our property!! All of that happened in about 24 hours - if I hadn't had a migraine when asked about the sleepover I probably would not have given permission, given the other things. But it was really bad and medications were not helping and I was not in my right mind. A couple of weeks later the mom came over to ask me to talk to her husband about his anger issues. Then I figured that he abused her but it was not my battle to fight. She thought that since I was so strong that I could stand up to him that I could "save" her and it would be me who was "sinning" and he wouldn't be able to blame her or get mad at her for going against God by telling him he was out of line. I did give her the number for the DV center though. It just was NOT a fight that I felt safe entering. I told her if she ever wanted to press charges she could call from here, but otherwise to stay off the property and not to speak to my children if they were in the street. So I TOTALLY understand about not always wanting her to go and play with other kids!! Those parents who won't take a gun away from a kid because he would argue - wow - they are going to have a wild ride when the kids are teens. My father would have just broken the gun in two or more pieces if we argued with him when he said we couldn't use it. No real discussion, just hitting it iwth or against something or putting it on the saw and chopping it up. No way would my parents have needed a law to make us listen. WTH is wrong with parents these days? Heck, MY kids might THINK to challenge me by saying it isn't against the law, but they ALWAYS know that my answer will be either "so what?"," Tough Luck", or "It is for you." I think you are handling the boredom well, esp as you see a difference between her usual and the depression boredom. I do think that if she tells you she doesn't want to do 2 or 3 things you suggest that a chore would be appropriate. Not a long one, just something that helps you and will motivate her to do one of the activities that you first suggested. There is NOTHING wrong with using boredom to accomplish something, in my opinion. I don't ever remember my mother giving us anything but chores when we whined about boredom. Most of the time we were afraid we would get chores so we would rather go read the encyclopedia than tell Mom we were bored. My dad succumbed to a door to door encyclopedia salesman when we were little and we read a LOT of them. Mostly because we wanted to, some for school. It was very useful for when we were bored or had read all our books. Yes, were were odd children, lol! You might also think about getting some of the books of science experiments and craft activities that are designed for kids to do. They can spark a lot of ideas. Also there is a book crammed with sensory activities called "The Out of Sync Child Has Fun" that is AWESOME. It is by Carol Kranowitz and has a TON of great activities and ways to do them for very little money. My family LOVES these things and we have used the book a LOT. Even when the kids are not having problems being overwhelmed or whatever the book has fun ideas. But there are a LOT of fun activities and crafts in various books for kids. I can search out some titles if you want. My kids always esp loved the science experiments. [/QUOTE]
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