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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 694230" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you everybody. I agree with all of you. I know I go on and on. I know I am stressed out. It is partly that M rags at me. Apparently M has been covering for my son, and my son plays one against the other. M sees it as a man's code to not "tell" and yet he has been seeing stuff he does not like--like the drug dealer who unfortunately lives 2 houses down by the other house (the City is about ready to take over the house to get him out--at least the cops said that 2 months ago, that it would happen in 3 weeks). M saw him walk right up to my son and hand him a drug pipe. My son said he refused it. </p><p></p><p>I am tired out, is mainly it. And stressed out. My son waited for me to get home--to pay for the internet. And then covers his tracks by saying he tried all day. </p><p>SWOT, I did tell him I loved him most in the world exactly at this point.SWOT, I did tell him I loved him most in the world exactly at this point. </p><p></p><p>My son knows how much I love him. The key to his problem anymore, however, is not a mother's love. It is his own efforts. If he sees what he needs, and chooses to go there: like therapy or school or voc rehab. I am not the key to his problems. He is.</p><p></p><p>Maybe that is the setup with him here or even working with us, or the promise of help with housing: it created a dependency trap. And that is what he has sought for years now, some sort of protection and support--without compromise or commitment on his part.</p><p></p><p>He is doing more--but the problem persists. I am so tired that this week I can barely stand it. </p><p></p><p>There was a real attitude change this week. Just when I started bragging on him.</p><p></p><p>I am exhausted. Really, really exhausted. And I am tiring of having my privacy with M be a thing of the past. I am tired of the constantly needing to prompt him, remind him. I am just, tired. I guess M is tired, too. It is really too much for us. I am beginning to see.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, I do not know what the answers are. It is still too hot in the other house, he says. And I can see it. I tried to ask M if it was time for me to bring in an electrician to upgrade the wiring and he said No. But if my son goes to the other house with the drug dealer down the street, it will be more problems. I can see it now.</p><p></p><p>I feel defeated. </p><p></p><p>Thank you, all. It helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 694230, member: 18958"] Thank you everybody. I agree with all of you. I know I go on and on. I know I am stressed out. It is partly that M rags at me. Apparently M has been covering for my son, and my son plays one against the other. M sees it as a man's code to not "tell" and yet he has been seeing stuff he does not like--like the drug dealer who unfortunately lives 2 houses down by the other house (the City is about ready to take over the house to get him out--at least the cops said that 2 months ago, that it would happen in 3 weeks). M saw him walk right up to my son and hand him a drug pipe. My son said he refused it. I am tired out, is mainly it. And stressed out. My son waited for me to get home--to pay for the internet. And then covers his tracks by saying he tried all day. SWOT, I did tell him I loved him most in the world exactly at this point.SWOT, I did tell him I loved him most in the world exactly at this point. My son knows how much I love him. The key to his problem anymore, however, is not a mother's love. It is his own efforts. If he sees what he needs, and chooses to go there: like therapy or school or voc rehab. I am not the key to his problems. He is. Maybe that is the setup with him here or even working with us, or the promise of help with housing: it created a dependency trap. And that is what he has sought for years now, some sort of protection and support--without compromise or commitment on his part. He is doing more--but the problem persists. I am so tired that this week I can barely stand it. There was a real attitude change this week. Just when I started bragging on him. I am exhausted. Really, really exhausted. And I am tiring of having my privacy with M be a thing of the past. I am tired of the constantly needing to prompt him, remind him. I am just, tired. I guess M is tired, too. It is really too much for us. I am beginning to see. Honestly, I do not know what the answers are. It is still too hot in the other house, he says. And I can see it. I tried to ask M if it was time for me to bring in an electrician to upgrade the wiring and he said No. But if my son goes to the other house with the drug dealer down the street, it will be more problems. I can see it now. I feel defeated. Thank you, all. It helps. [/QUOTE]
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