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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 694232" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Copa, really, you have gone above and beyond and if you are telling him you love him, maybe he is manipulating you. "Im just a poor loser"...I see it in a different light now. Someone said a pity party. That or a way to soften your kind heart.</p><p></p><p>Remember the good advice you give to others. We matter too. You matter too. Perhaps it is time to speed up the air conditioner in the other house and let him move. For you. Even if M. says its too soon. Your son coming between the two of you. DON'T let him.</p><p></p><p>I understand about the drug dealer who lives near that house. So what? There are drug users and dealers everywhere in every city and you can't shelter him from drugs. None of us can do that. There are too many of them. Your son's drug of choice is pot. It is legal in your state. Even here, where its not legal, pot is everywhere, like alcohol. Your son has to decide not to use it or he will use it. If he is causing you stress, maybe it is a good idea to move him out. For you. The pot will always, in the end, be his decision. </p><p></p><p>You are doing so well. He is doing better. Maybe it's time for him to not be homeless( i know you cant live with that and this post is about YOU)...but maybe he can have a place to lay his head, but still have to make his own decisions beyond that.</p><p></p><p>At some time it becomes...can WE take it. We are not 30 anymore and we've lived long, hard lives and deserve peace in our homes. But you know this. You wisely tell this to everyone else.</p><p></p><p>Why do all the other parents matter except you?</p><p></p><p>You do matter. You can retire from active parenting too, if you like, and let your son decide to be useful or waste all you have taught him. In the end, it is up to our kids how they choose to live.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are sad and tired. Nobody deserves a gentle rest as much as you. You know we are all with you, no matter what you decide.</p><p></p><p>Hoping you have a peaceful night. You deserve one. Many!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 694232, member: 1550"] Copa, really, you have gone above and beyond and if you are telling him you love him, maybe he is manipulating you. "Im just a poor loser"...I see it in a different light now. Someone said a pity party. That or a way to soften your kind heart. Remember the good advice you give to others. We matter too. You matter too. Perhaps it is time to speed up the air conditioner in the other house and let him move. For you. Even if M. says its too soon. Your son coming between the two of you. DON'T let him. I understand about the drug dealer who lives near that house. So what? There are drug users and dealers everywhere in every city and you can't shelter him from drugs. None of us can do that. There are too many of them. Your son's drug of choice is pot. It is legal in your state. Even here, where its not legal, pot is everywhere, like alcohol. Your son has to decide not to use it or he will use it. If he is causing you stress, maybe it is a good idea to move him out. For you. The pot will always, in the end, be his decision. You are doing so well. He is doing better. Maybe it's time for him to not be homeless( i know you cant live with that and this post is about YOU)...but maybe he can have a place to lay his head, but still have to make his own decisions beyond that. At some time it becomes...can WE take it. We are not 30 anymore and we've lived long, hard lives and deserve peace in our homes. But you know this. You wisely tell this to everyone else. Why do all the other parents matter except you? You do matter. You can retire from active parenting too, if you like, and let your son decide to be useful or waste all you have taught him. In the end, it is up to our kids how they choose to live. I am sorry you are sad and tired. Nobody deserves a gentle rest as much as you. You know we are all with you, no matter what you decide. Hoping you have a peaceful night. You deserve one. Many! [/QUOTE]
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