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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 694238" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you Darkwing. </p><p></p><p>My son's parents were addicts and both were dying of AIDS at the time he came to my home. He knows this. He became ill with Hepatitis, that we believe he has carried from his birth, and we did not know. It is a heavy, heavy burden for him to bear. </p><p></p><p>My father too was an addict--really, anything he could get. Like your father he had parts of him that were stellar and parts that were demonic. My mother, too, was preoccupied--not by drugs--but self-absorbed and really didn't see us at all. She loved us but was never there. I loved my mother desperately my whole life but never knew it. When she died--I learned how much.</p><p></p><p>I became really human loving my son. There is no other way to see it than this. Who knows where they are going or where they need to go except in desperate moments. I think that is what you were trying to say about the forty percent. We are always lost and searching. When we know it, we are at our best. Only desperation enables us to touch bottom, a true thing. There is nothing to be found there except for ourselves. We do that through decisions and deeds. I guess that is the way I am trying to live. This is how I have come to think.</p><p></p><p>I have a sound mind but I cannot seem to think my way out of this or through it. My only guidance, really, is here. Thank you Darkwing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 694238, member: 18958"] Thank you Darkwing. My son's parents were addicts and both were dying of AIDS at the time he came to my home. He knows this. He became ill with Hepatitis, that we believe he has carried from his birth, and we did not know. It is a heavy, heavy burden for him to bear. My father too was an addict--really, anything he could get. Like your father he had parts of him that were stellar and parts that were demonic. My mother, too, was preoccupied--not by drugs--but self-absorbed and really didn't see us at all. She loved us but was never there. I loved my mother desperately my whole life but never knew it. When she died--I learned how much. I became really human loving my son. There is no other way to see it than this. Who knows where they are going or where they need to go except in desperate moments. I think that is what you were trying to say about the forty percent. We are always lost and searching. When we know it, we are at our best. Only desperation enables us to touch bottom, a true thing. There is nothing to be found there except for ourselves. We do that through decisions and deeds. I guess that is the way I am trying to live. This is how I have come to think. I have a sound mind but I cannot seem to think my way out of this or through it. My only guidance, really, is here. Thank you Darkwing. [/QUOTE]
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