i'm complaining...... yup again!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Nov 8, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    I'm trying to complain less lately, it's working out fairly well lol.:faint:

    I have my little ppl icon's so life is good in that regard!!!:smug:

    Yet, difficult child sometimes wow! Some days I sit back and think for a second my entire life revolves around her. Everyday, every night her.

    Now, I know being a parent is a selfless act. :crazy2: I'm surviving easy child so i totally get it! Yet different children bigtime, difficult child is incredibly needy. It gets to me at times it really does. If I go to use the bathroom and I"m gone too long she comes searching for me knocking on door profusely. If I try to go outside to get mail she's banging on living room windows and screaming I love you even though I told her "i am just going to get the mail"!! She smother's me at times, I love her so yet i can't breath sometimes.

    Like Saturdays for instance she awakens early is usually pretty hyped up, arguing with easy child before i even open my eyes (usually very much caused by difficult child), usually feverishly working on something today it was her baby that wets. She was yelling at easy child to get out of the bathroom cause she wanted to fill it up! Then if i deviate my attention let's say to be online for even fifteen minutes she keeps calling my name mind you i'm sitting right next to her while she's loading kitten and her baby in stroller. Ma look at this, Ma look at that!

    Then long and behold once I get a plan for the day it could be food shopping, movies whatever she stalls. It takes over an hour of continuously asking her to get dressed, let's go, etc. all she wants to do is sit in house all day. She has huge issues with leaving for anything.

    Now, granted she is sleeping at night and i'm so wrong for complaining right now. Yet it helps when i vent it out and than i can proceed calmer.

    Don't you guys ever feel that way? Like wow give me a minute to breath to think to pee??? She is so so needy and i'm trying to break her of that somewhat because she's going to be ten in feb. and i can't always be her security blanket. I'm desperately trying to teach her that i love her, am giong nowhere, and that she is smart and capable and is doing fine.

    Last night I tried to go online for a few minutes hadn't been on all day. She kept staring at me i felt so guilty after a few posts I got off. Than guess what she (inbetween all the shows we watch, which by the way i'm also sick of, how many times can you watch the same Hannah Montana re-run seriously), than she requests my labtop and goes on her webiste, ok fine. Yet here I am watching Hannah Montana yet again she's hardly watching yet throws fit if i try to change it to something other than her and i'm just sitting there thinking ok when is bedtime??

    I feel so guilty for that. I am lucky in a sense I get a break every other weekend at least for a day. Time with Dads been cut down because she was melting down over going for two days suddenly. So, now I get pretty much a day a whole 24 hours of reprieve. Yet I don't know how well i'd handle it without those 48 hours once a mos.!

    ok i'm done b*tching! Sorry i just had to say how i felt. thanks for listening
     
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    ok now she's singing hannah montana songs in living room. it sounds cute, yet i've asked repeatedly and told her we need to go, etc. she is dragging stuffed animals down from her room feverishly putting clothes on them.

    threatening easy child she's going to shut t.v. off on her. easy child did nothing wrong. it's like when she's like this nothing helps!!

    I said calmly let's go brush our teeth, shoes she yells at me. What am i supposed to do in these circumstances seriously. Trying to control her when she's like this doesn't work. It only makes it worse. this is basically an every saturday morning thing.

    It would be one thing if she was calmly singing and stuff. Yet she's not! She's right infront of easy child singing and dancing without listening to anyone's words to stop or go upstairs where there is no t.v. on.

    any tips????? this is totally manic behavior or hypomania she's nasty irritable argumentative and hyper beyond control. I just went over to her very calmly went down to her level held her hands in mine and said sweetie we have to get going i have to go buy food. She yelled stop hurting me grabbing my wrists, etc. I can deal with hyper kids yet this is just ridiculous.
     
  3. escapedagain

    escapedagain New Member

    Boy do I know where you are coming from!!!!! My difficult child#1 .is 9 yrs. old, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, ADHD, Mood disorder, Anxiety and MR (IQ is 67). My entire world revolves around him. I believe he thinks his 2 younger sibs are on their own and don't need me.

    He loves to go outside just not to leave home. He has a 4 wheeler and trampoline and we live on 10 acres. He wants to be out side all day long, but he wants me to be out doing what ever he is doing. He has terrible meltdowns. He throws himself on the ground and it all breaks loose. He takes Strattera, Depakote, Thorazine, and Tenex ( has been on a dozen or so others).

    OUr day starts with waking up to endless energy by him and my difficult child#2 (4 yr) he is usually so wound up he jumps on the sofa or bed until I put my hands on him and get him down. Then He usually torments his 2 younger sibs until I can get them to safer ground. Then I hold on to him and get him to take his medications.. This is usually a 10 minute job. He takes on pill at a time and pushes every button I have in between them.

    Then I just hold on and have a pepsi till the medications start working. Then I make his and the other kids breakfast. Getting him to sit still to eat it is something else. If I put him infront of the t.v. at the coffee table he does pretty good.

    Then because he cant handle public school (anxiety ) I try to home school him. I have found Time4Learning on the net and he likes it. It still is a trying experience every day though because he has to have one on one to stay of topic.

    When he is done schooling he goes straight outside. The only problem with that is he runs away. I have to be ontop of him every min.! When he stays inside due to weather it is a night mare! He has never entertained himself! He doesnt play with toys much or do anything for that mattter. The thing he is best at is tormenting everyone.

    I have to be very creative to keep him busy. And at least yours only bangs on the bathroom door, my difficult child broke the lock on ours during a meltdown and now it dont lock. So guess where he is when I'm in the bathroom.

    When we have to leave to go somewhere it is ww3. He has always hated to go places and used to get so upset he would throw-up.

    I'm really sorry I dont have any suggestions or ideas for you but I sure do know how you feel. I really thought I was the only one with a child like him.
    My husband works 12 hours a day and is usually busy on his days off (I wounder why). I understand how good a little break is and how it can help.
    Just getting difficult child to do anything is a fight. He has to be told a least 3 times and then I usually just take him by the arm and do it with him or stand over him until it gets done. I litterally don't get anything done on most days till my husband gets home (7pm). When I go to be I asleep before my head hits the pillow and already dreading my first and only wakeup call from difficult child in the morning because I know its all going to just start over.

    Some days I handle things better than others. Today is Sat. and I have just had to chase him outside to wrestle the 4 wheeler key from him because he tried to sneek off without a helmet again. The rule is no helmet no ride! He only gets one warning and then I get the key. Always easier said than done.
    This morning He ran outside without shoes and socks. The baby is sick and I couldnt catch him before he got a good head start on me. He made it to the neighbors (his friend). Luckily they are getting to know us and the grandpa brought him back laughing. At least on of us could laugh.

    We have locks on every door and cabinet in the house and at night and on really bad days I have to lock the 2 way deadbolt from the inside! I wear a keyring around my neck 24 hours a day.:faint::whiteflag:

    I dont know what else to do, so I just keep going and hang on the good moments. There are several if I just look for them. We adopted him and he has been with us since he was 5 weeks old. I figure God brought him to us and we named him a name that means "gift from God" so thats how we live our lives. I have notes all over my home that say : STAY CALM, BREATHE DEEP, HE LOVES, YOU HE WILL, GROW UP SOON, HE CANT HELP IT, HE DONT MEAN IT, HE IS A GREAT KID, LAUGH IT HELPs!

    So hang in there and know I am out here praying for and thinking about you. Just knowing you are there helps me, I hope I can help you.
    Im sending hugs and fluffing you pillow for you.
    connie
     
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