Jen, about her birthday - you will be in the city, so in between testing, you could make it an adventure. I hear you about the money problems, but most cities have free stuff you can go to - museums, etc. Parks. Playgrounds. And take her for coffee and cake somewhere, make it clear that this is a birthday treat. Buy a packet of balloons and blow them all up so she wakes up to a hotel room full of birthday balloons. Whatever it takes, with minimum cost.
I know you've said you won't home-school, but looking at the anxiety levels, you might be reconsidering this.
Chelsea did a good PMI on the topic (thanks, Chelsea!) but there are a couple of things she left out -
Good points - no more school phobia, no more phone calls from the school to come and get her, her anxiety might even reduce. Your anxiety is likely to reduce. You will have much more certainty about planning your day.
She will be more 'portable' - if you have doctor's appointments, shopping etc she can come too, bringing schoolwork. In fact, it can be a lesson in itself. There's nothing like, "Find me the most economical size and brand of baked beans" to home a student's maths skills.
Social skills - I found these IMPROVED vastly, when we started correspondence school (done at home). Because difficult child 3 does school work during school hours, when he finishes for the say, he is free to go play or invite a friend over. He also is learning to interact appropriately when we go shopping. I send him on his own to buy this or that, and he handles the exchange well. It was only at school, that the social interaction was not only inappropriate, it was damaging.
No hoomework - it's all done during school hours.
He also gets much more work done this way - he wasn't getting anything done in mainstream.
Bad points - no more job, unless you can work from home. Of course, she might improve to the point where you can leave her with someone else to supervise while you earn a few dollars, but don't count on it - her anxiety, again.
Whatever you choose, you need certainty in your lives and also continuity. We switched because we didn't have either of those, in mainstream. It wasn't so much a choice, as last resort.
It's not a great alternative for short-term, but if necessary it could be done. difficult child 3 spent a lot of time home from school "sick" (actually, throwing up from severe anxiety) and although it wasn't set in place formally, I guess I 'home schooled' for those times which did amount to a month here, a month there. And after school hours were over he would have a friend over to play, or talk to. It was frustrating how he wasn't sick at home, only when 'school' was mentioned. But it wasn't put on, he really had problems.
Not so now - he's a great kid, still autistic of course but making amazing progress. But it does occupy my time a great deal, I can't deny this. There is no way I could hold down a job while doing this, although I do some freelance work occasionally.
Marg
It would be great for difficult child academically, but he needs to social input he gets a school.
