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General Parenting
I'm going to ask some very uncomfortable questions-
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 396136" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I am looking at this issue from the other side of the time line. There were many a time when I wondered how I was going to meet difficult child's needs and parent him to be the most independent person he was capable of being. In he years of early puberty I just wondered how we would keep him from being institutionalized for the rest of his life. </p><p>He was at a time, in a very structured boarding type program. It stopped his downward spiral. It's not a cure. It's about function. </p><p>At 26, it's still work to help difficult child be the man he wants to be. He is a work in progress. I believe if I push off because he is an adult, he would revert to being an unkept, unfocused, unmotivated and dysfunctional. He absolutely needs structure without giving up independence and personal responsibility. There is no perfect environment</p><p>that I can see. </p><p>I still wonder if I can continue this for the rest of my life but the alternatives are something I'm not able to live with. </p><p>I can also run the risk of being co dependent and I really, really, don't want to become that person who has lived to save her child. I want parenting to be part of my life and not my whole life. </p><p>It's very difficult to see a 7yr old difficult child and wonder about what you can survive and what you can't. You just get up each morning and try again and try to do better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 396136, member: 3"] I am looking at this issue from the other side of the time line. There were many a time when I wondered how I was going to meet difficult child's needs and parent him to be the most independent person he was capable of being. In he years of early puberty I just wondered how we would keep him from being institutionalized for the rest of his life. He was at a time, in a very structured boarding type program. It stopped his downward spiral. It's not a cure. It's about function. At 26, it's still work to help difficult child be the man he wants to be. He is a work in progress. I believe if I push off because he is an adult, he would revert to being an unkept, unfocused, unmotivated and dysfunctional. He absolutely needs structure without giving up independence and personal responsibility. There is no perfect environment that I can see. I still wonder if I can continue this for the rest of my life but the alternatives are something I'm not able to live with. I can also run the risk of being co dependent and I really, really, don't want to become that person who has lived to save her child. I want parenting to be part of my life and not my whole life. It's very difficult to see a 7yr old difficult child and wonder about what you can survive and what you can't. You just get up each morning and try again and try to do better. [/QUOTE]
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I'm going to ask some very uncomfortable questions-
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