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I'm going to ask some very uncomfortable questions-
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 396213" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>hi</p><p> </p><p>sooo late to this. I know an older couple, by older I mean he's about 75 shes about the same. really sweet and friends of my family. their oldest daughter who is my age has bipolar. they wake her each day for work, help her with her clothing choices, make appointments for her cook her food etc. now this is the extreme. yet point is they have no life anymore. Their entire life revolved around their daughter. They never cut the cord at any point and said ok i've done right by you, i've brought you to the doctor's and i've given you the medications, and i've done this that and the other time for you to stand on your own two feet.</p><p> </p><p>in reality everyone has a version of "normalcy", or functionality I think. It all depends on who you are, what your goals are and that drive you have to make them a reality. I think and I often have sat pondering same questions yet mine is 11 and i'm starting early......... that i've done this that and the other, so now it's time for you to stand up, self advocate for yourself. yup it's sad our kids have chemical imbalances issues we couldnt' see from the great picture or sono we got while pregnant there are no blood tests, its all perfectly grey matter and grey sucks. </p><p> </p><p>Yet i guess in any life it's all about our boundaries, where they are, where we should put them. I"m sure i'm not helping you with all this junk lol. yet i guess it also depends on their age. for me 11 is too young to let go totally. doctor's at hospital she was at suggested i do so and put her in a home. i said no way!! i wasn't ready at all for that, draw boundaries best you can. i get it easier said than done. make time for you and husband if it kills difficult child. if you two are ok the house will be happier overall. i know unfortunately from experience how no time can lead to a nightmarish marriage.</p><p> </p><p>((Hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 396213, member: 4514"] hi sooo late to this. I know an older couple, by older I mean he's about 75 shes about the same. really sweet and friends of my family. their oldest daughter who is my age has bipolar. they wake her each day for work, help her with her clothing choices, make appointments for her cook her food etc. now this is the extreme. yet point is they have no life anymore. Their entire life revolved around their daughter. They never cut the cord at any point and said ok i've done right by you, i've brought you to the doctor's and i've given you the medications, and i've done this that and the other time for you to stand on your own two feet. in reality everyone has a version of "normalcy", or functionality I think. It all depends on who you are, what your goals are and that drive you have to make them a reality. I think and I often have sat pondering same questions yet mine is 11 and i'm starting early......... that i've done this that and the other, so now it's time for you to stand up, self advocate for yourself. yup it's sad our kids have chemical imbalances issues we couldnt' see from the great picture or sono we got while pregnant there are no blood tests, its all perfectly grey matter and grey sucks. Yet i guess in any life it's all about our boundaries, where they are, where we should put them. I"m sure i'm not helping you with all this junk lol. yet i guess it also depends on their age. for me 11 is too young to let go totally. doctor's at hospital she was at suggested i do so and put her in a home. i said no way!! i wasn't ready at all for that, draw boundaries best you can. i get it easier said than done. make time for you and husband if it kills difficult child. if you two are ok the house will be happier overall. i know unfortunately from experience how no time can lead to a nightmarish marriage. ((Hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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