I'm going to beat the boy with his own crutches

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mstang67chic, Sep 17, 2007.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Sometimes difficult child just amazes me with his lack of common sense. Saturday he was helping out at a park (big shock to me......he VOLUNTEERED! :surprise: ) and apparently fell. His knee was very bruised and had some contusions and swelling but he seemed to be ok the rest of the weekend. We iced it, gave him OTC stuff, etc. but he didn't complain about it so I wasn't worried. And trust me, if it was bothering him, he would have let us know. (We weren't home at the time and didn't find out about it till later which tells me that, while it was a nasty fall to his knee, wasn't REAL bad) Ask him though and he fell 10 feet, hit his temple on the corner of the picnic table, blacked out, etc. but yet no one called us at the time or even later to check and I know the people he was with would have had it been that bad. Fast forward to today (Monday).......he got into a fight on the bus and the other kid kicked him a few times in the same knee. Wound up taking him to the ER, no broken bones but he's on crutches. We leave the ER with a rx so I head to the drug store then to Wendy's to get supper and back to the drug store. It wasn't quite ready so I parked and went inside leaving difficult child in the car to eat, car running, cell phone in plain sight, purse in sight (just took my wallet in) and windows down. I'm inside FIVE minutes, turn around and there stands difficult child on his crutches, no keys or purse in sight. They are still in the RUNNING car in the parking lot. :grrr: We live in a small town but by small I mean five digit population and there are plenty of car thefts. Race out of the store, fortunately car is still there and everything is untouched. Turned it off, lock up and go back inside. Get the pain medications, go home and then difficult child decides that he's got to get his clothes out of the dryer RIGHT NOW but can barely walk on the crutches. He HAS to have a shower right now but can't put weight on the one leg. (I'll hang onto the bar......it's a wash cloth bar.......NOT weight bearing.) More bickering, more arguing and he storms to his room as best he can. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    His pain medications are only rx strength naproxyn but I reeeeeeeeeally wish they were the knock you out (and shut you up) kind. :hammer:
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Spoken like a true mother!!!
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Yeah, I think I'd want to beat the kid too!
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I have 'heard' if you give a difficult child one or is it two shots of Jack Daniels with a Naproxen it will shut him up. Or was that....if YOU take the Jack Daniels and give the kid the pain medicine it will shut him out? Maybe....maybe....yes it was definitely 4 shots of Jack Daniels with a Naproxen chaser and you won't care what the kid says. That was it...yeah...(thinking again). OHHh silly me, I forgot the duct tape.

    Okay wait....lememememe gets its okay I took 5 shots of (whas whaz it) oh phooey who cares you just put the neck up and down sheea gozzzzzee. Yup and you THROW the NApr, Naxkprosen, Napkins, you throw whatever you can at the kid and then take his crutches. Thass it.

    Brink me tha bottle, and napkisn. This is deslichisous. WHat pet wher ewe taking for a hamburgerr? And he was drunk? WOW! :smile: that dog can hunt!

    Sank you vbery muysh.

  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    OMG my stomach hurts. I am laughing so hard.
  6. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Okay, I'm scared now, cause I reallllllly understood what Loan Ranger said......
  7. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I loved the title of this post and think it would make a good short story..lol
  8. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    I really wonder about someone who could type like Star and every ONE of us can understand it and wish we were there! Is that cocktail called, "Calgontakemeaway"?
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    OK, I have to share TWO things -

    First, my best friend has an accident-prone difficult child-ish son. He's doing well now but still irresponsible. I remember when difficult child 3 was born, she visited with her two kids (her son was 12 at the time) and, like a lot of boys surrounded by an overly female adult atmosphere, he got bored and wandered off. We were just wondering where he might be and I recalled him looking over my balcony with interest at the roof of the floor two levels below, and I looked - and there he was! He had decided to explore - and I knew this hospital well enough to shudder, he HAD to have walked through the delivery floor lounge room for mothers in early labour, gone out to their balcony, climbed over the railing and gone for his walk on the roof. As we watched, security came heading towards him and a few minutes later he was delivered back to us and my friend decided in a hurry to leave, gripping him by his ear lobe.

    Over the years he fractured his skull swinging on a rope over the river (lucky he wasn't killed), gashed his leg, broke his arm, bought himself a motorbike and smashed it and himself badly, requiring several bones to be pinned, and more.
    For his 21st birthday party, where most parents hang up photos of their son at various ages, my friend hung up his X-rays from over the years. Sweet revenge!

    And the second thing - I mentioned the fun and games with APEC two weeks ago. The TV comedy team responsible for the stunt put another comedy sketch on their show - it was a faked ad, for laundry detergent called "Emo - deal with stains by dying it all black." The character in the ad was saying, "Wow - my clothes have shrunk, they don't fit, they look drab - just like my life! Thank you, Emo!" or similar. I wish I could remember the whole sketch, but by now it will be somewhere on Youtube, along with their Osama bin Laden stunt.

    So, talking about difficult teen boys (especially with injuries), plus the references to Calgon - had to share!

    Just remember, the 21st birthday party is when every parent has the opportunity to be avenged - the last opportunity before grandkids come along. So begin your preparations now.

  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    OMG......... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: **tears rollllllllllling down my face and stomach cramping** THANK YOU Lr!!!! You have noooooooo idea how much I needed that. Scratch that......you probably do but either way, Thank you!!!! That was very much needed. The only problem is that I don't dare go near his pain medications. I had a nasty allergic reaction to Aleeve a few years back so I told him and husband that I'm not even so much as touching the pill bottle. Ah well......I think I have some Darvocets around here somewhere......surely those would accomplish SOMETHING. (and don't call me Shirley.............sorry......couldn't resist. Seen that movie entirely too many times.)

    Anyhoo.......thanks all for the laughs. Today hasn't been much better and add in a call from the principal.............siiiiiiiiiiiigh. You get the idea. (You know, whenever I write or type the word principal, I still remember that little ditty they taught us when spelling principal and principle.......princiPAL for the school guy because "he's your Pal." SNORT........yeah right.)

    Oh and yeah.......I understood every word too. That's a GOOD thing right?