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I'm going to jail!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="hexemaus2" data-source="post: 197042" data-attributes="member: 4560"><p>Yeah, I'm by no means above doing what Marg suggested. been there done that. I have deliberately set difficult child 2 off in front of police, doctors, nurses, you name it - out of desperation for someone, anyone to see what I'm dealing with at home & get us some help!! Unfortunately, it doesn't always work. I tried to set him off during his last psychiatric hospital admission so the docs could see what I have been talking about. difficult child 2 didn't bite. In fact, it almost back-fired on me as I had to take him home that afternoon & he darn near had a meltdown in the car. I told him I was going to turn around and take him back & he calmed himself down, but it was scary for a few minutes there. I was alone in the car with him, on a long stretch of deserted highway. It could have been ugly. So, if you do decide to push his buttons and try to trigger him, just be careful. You know your child best, so be sure to only deliberately trigger him when you know you're both in a safe enough environment to do it without anyone getting hurt. (If I had known difficult child 2 would 'save' his meltdown for later? I would have tried to trigger him the day before so he had plenty of time in-patient to get over it.)</p><p> </p><p>I've so been (and still am) where you are. In fact, one of the things I told the Captain when we met was that my only options at that point were to get pepper spray or a tazer for my other kids to protect themselves. We weren't getting any help and I had no doubt in my mind that difficult child 2 killing someone was no longer an "if" but a "when." What else was I supposed to do? We had to protect ourselves somehow (my difficult child 2 is 5'7" and 200lbs, so restraining him isn't even an option anymore) & the police/juvenile system sure weren't helping, but then I'd be looking at abuse charges for difficult child 2 getting pepper sprayed or tazed. But what else are you supposed to do when your difficult child is literally trying to kill one of your children - when it becomes life or death & the police won't arrest him, the hospitals won't admit him, what else am I supposed to do? Just let him kill his sibling or me? Then what? Thankfully, the Captain looked at everything in front of him and realized that I was truly in a desperate, life or death situation. Someone needed to do something to help me protect my family. (Lord knows, I sure didn't want to have to resort to hurting one of my kids to protect the others. I want help for my difficult child, dang it!)</p><p> </p><p>But honestly? What does the system think we're supposed to do? We can't protect ourselves without going to jail. We can't NOT protect ourselves without going to jail. I mean, come on now. Somebody's GOT to have a little common sense somewhere! Like I explained to the Captain, if I came to him with the same situation with a person who wasn't my child, the police would be all over it & having that person arrested so I could be safe. Why is it that just because the person trying to hurt us is my child that everyone thinks they can just do nothing & it's just a family problem?!?</p><p> </p><p>That's where documenting everything helps. That, and keep calling people, keep asking for help. All you need is ONE person in a position to help. Sometimes it just takes beating on alot of doors to find that one person who can help to get the ball rolling. (That, and I had to learn NOT to sugar coat anything with anyone. If anything, I had to put the opposite spin on things to really get the point acrossed how dangerous our situation really was/is.)</p><p> </p><p>And PLEASE, don't anyone get me wrong with the things I've said in this post. I surely don't advocate getting pepper spray or a tazer to protect yourself from your child. In our situation, I used the suggestion merely as a way to make myself clear to the Captain just how few alternatives I was being left with. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to think I was advocating doing anything to hurt your child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hexemaus2, post: 197042, member: 4560"] Yeah, I'm by no means above doing what Marg suggested. been there done that. I have deliberately set difficult child 2 off in front of police, doctors, nurses, you name it - out of desperation for someone, anyone to see what I'm dealing with at home & get us some help!! Unfortunately, it doesn't always work. I tried to set him off during his last psychiatric hospital admission so the docs could see what I have been talking about. difficult child 2 didn't bite. In fact, it almost back-fired on me as I had to take him home that afternoon & he darn near had a meltdown in the car. I told him I was going to turn around and take him back & he calmed himself down, but it was scary for a few minutes there. I was alone in the car with him, on a long stretch of deserted highway. It could have been ugly. So, if you do decide to push his buttons and try to trigger him, just be careful. You know your child best, so be sure to only deliberately trigger him when you know you're both in a safe enough environment to do it without anyone getting hurt. (If I had known difficult child 2 would 'save' his meltdown for later? I would have tried to trigger him the day before so he had plenty of time in-patient to get over it.) I've so been (and still am) where you are. In fact, one of the things I told the Captain when we met was that my only options at that point were to get pepper spray or a tazer for my other kids to protect themselves. We weren't getting any help and I had no doubt in my mind that difficult child 2 killing someone was no longer an "if" but a "when." What else was I supposed to do? We had to protect ourselves somehow (my difficult child 2 is 5'7" and 200lbs, so restraining him isn't even an option anymore) & the police/juvenile system sure weren't helping, but then I'd be looking at abuse charges for difficult child 2 getting pepper sprayed or tazed. But what else are you supposed to do when your difficult child is literally trying to kill one of your children - when it becomes life or death & the police won't arrest him, the hospitals won't admit him, what else am I supposed to do? Just let him kill his sibling or me? Then what? Thankfully, the Captain looked at everything in front of him and realized that I was truly in a desperate, life or death situation. Someone needed to do something to help me protect my family. (Lord knows, I sure didn't want to have to resort to hurting one of my kids to protect the others. I want help for my difficult child, dang it!) But honestly? What does the system think we're supposed to do? We can't protect ourselves without going to jail. We can't NOT protect ourselves without going to jail. I mean, come on now. Somebody's GOT to have a little common sense somewhere! Like I explained to the Captain, if I came to him with the same situation with a person who wasn't my child, the police would be all over it & having that person arrested so I could be safe. Why is it that just because the person trying to hurt us is my child that everyone thinks they can just do nothing & it's just a family problem?!? That's where documenting everything helps. That, and keep calling people, keep asking for help. All you need is ONE person in a position to help. Sometimes it just takes beating on alot of doors to find that one person who can help to get the ball rolling. (That, and I had to learn NOT to sugar coat anything with anyone. If anything, I had to put the opposite spin on things to really get the point acrossed how dangerous our situation really was/is.) And PLEASE, don't anyone get me wrong with the things I've said in this post. I surely don't advocate getting pepper spray or a tazer to protect yourself from your child. In our situation, I used the suggestion merely as a way to make myself clear to the Captain just how few alternatives I was being left with. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to think I was advocating doing anything to hurt your child. [/QUOTE]
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